Bananas aren't at all like carrots or cucumbers... they're difficult to store neatly as they all have an horrendous kink in them.
The BubbaCo Banana Unbender slowly stretches the bent banana out, holding the confused fruit gently but firmly as it goes about its task, removing the bends and sending them to people you don't like.
After a couple of hours you have wonderfully straight, unbruised bananas, easily stored on a fruit platter, or stacked into a neat little log cabin on your kitchen bench.-- UnaBubba, Sep 07 2009 Whatever bends your banana... http://www.nytimes....ibes-at-europe.html...is allegedly banned. [Amos Kito, Sep 07 2009] Egg cuber http://www.thekitch...e.com/eggcuber.htmlNo wierder than a banana straightener [Jim Bob of Merriam Park, Sep 11 2009] Another, similar idea. SqueggsFrom some time ago. [UnaBubba, Sep 12 2009] There's that liqueur that comes bottled with an entire pear inside, you could probably do something similar with bananas, for storage purposes too.-- zen_tom, Sep 07 2009 switch to plantains-- dentworth, Sep 07 2009 I thought this was going to be some sort of anti-entropy device that took a smoothie and recreated the fruit. [+] anyway. Bananas are very inconveniently shaped if you don't have a tree to hang them on.
The more I think about it, the better this idea is. Could they be unbended at source though?-- shudderprose, Sep 07 2009 //removing the bends and sending them to people you don't like//
There's your bun - right there.-- wagster, Sep 07 2009 [+] excellent-- xenzag, Sep 07 2009 I once suffered from a case of banana bends.-- tatterdemalion, Sep 07 2009 Sounds like someone didn't like you, [tatters].-- UnaBubba, Sep 07 2009 I store my bananas next to a microscopic black hole. The intense gravitational field produced by the black hole is sufficient to curve the fabric of spacetime, in accordance with Einstein's theory of relativity. Within the context of this curved space, bananas appear perfectly straight.-- hippo, Sep 08 2009 Ah yes, Baldric, a hole so dense that light bends around it as it passes by.-- UnaBubba, Sep 08 2009 Sorry, UB. I'm afraid I might have to post the first fishbone for this idea - I find the naturally-curved shape of the banana is ideal for the construction of neat little log yurts.-- Canuck, Sep 08 2009 Not saying you have to straighten them... unless you're OCD about that sort of thing.
Log Cabin Republican Bananas... or not.-- UnaBubba, Sep 09 2009 not sure that I like this! A banana split probably wouldn't work as well with a straight one because it couldn't lie in the bowl nicely. And I like banana splits. mmmm.-- penguin_tummy, Sep 09 2009 Then buy a bent one, [p_t]. There's plenty of them out there.-- UnaBubba, Sep 09 2009 //I find the naturally-curved shape of the banana is ideal for the construction of neat little log yurts.//
I like to eat banana yoghurt in my banana log yurt.-- wagster, Sep 09 2009 I was eating my yoghurt when I slipped and fell on it, Doc... honest.-- UnaBubba, Sep 09 2009 I was just vacuuming my banana, when…-- Ian Tindale, Sep 09 2009 Does the device operate on only one banana at a time? Does it have some kind of loading cartridge to automate the process? How is it powered?-- pocmloc, Sep 09 2009 // a straight one... couldn't lie in the bowl nicely //
Use a plate.
I'm a little concerned about holding a confused fruit gently but firmly as it goes about its task. The last time I tried that was something of a disappointment.-- tatterdemalion, Sep 09 2009 //The last time I tried that was something of a disappointment//
Try using one of the new lubricants. The ones with *cooling* stimulant added. That might help.-- UnaBubba, Sep 09 2009 I think the way we treat bananas and custard around here is proof positive that the halfbakery, as a whole, suffers from a major eating disorder.
I've just not thought of a clever name yet.-- blissmiss, Sep 09 2009 Perhaps straight bananas could be produced in a manner similar to continuous scotch egg, yielding an endless, extruded reconstituted banana in reconstituted skin.
The consumer could purchase the product by the yard (metre for the decimally minded, who may gloat in the belief that they are getting 9.44% more, but unaware that what they gain in endless banana, they lose in karmic credit and will one day put their hand in their pocket to find something unpleasant)
Perhaps the continuous banana could be called bananananananananananananan...-- Twizz, Sep 10 2009 I'll just have a nana, thanks.-- UnaBubba, Sep 10 2009 + just for the title!!-- xandram, Sep 10 2009 I was just trying to find one of those nana straighteners when I met...-- danman, Sep 10 2009 There is something very comforting about being amoungst you all, on 9/11, with a silly idea and a smile. This place pulled me out of my funk then, and it still does, more times than not.
So here's a straight up banana to you, jutta, and a bent one for the road.-- blissmiss, Sep 11 2009 does it hurt?-- bobofthefuture, Sep 11 2009 That depends upon the thickness of the banana.-- UnaBubba, Sep 11 2009 bananas are each an individual mother nature smile
why make them conform everything everything is mechanical and linear already why do this to bananas think of the monkeys man
straightened bananas should be called blannas
your banana soul ripper should stamp bar codes on them while its at it and paint them black-- vfrackis, Sep 11 2009 Those disgusted by the idea of straightness could pay extra for a nanana extruded as a continuous spiral, for nostalgia's sake. Gadget freaks could purchase lengths of spiranana and run it through the unbender.-- pocmloc, Sep 11 2009 I think the only way you'll get straight bananas is to allow them to grow inside a tube, while on the plant. Square or hexagonal cross section for improved packing efficiency.-- spidermother, Sep 11 2009 halfbakery