The computer mouse is one of the most ubiquitous items of the current age.

Here at UB Lookin' At The Future we have released the latest mousing sensation, the Better Mouse.

BM is a live mouse, trained to respond to voice commands. Upon your command he/she/it will run to a certain spot on a horizontal touchscreen and stamp his left forefoot once. <CLICK!> Right clicks are possible, simply requiring a spoken command to stamp the right foot.

BM expects a crumb every 10-12 clicks. Toilet trained mice are a little extra.

Not recommended for use in environments where cats and mousetraps are common. A good working relationship between mouse and user will soon develop.
-- UnaBubba, Oct 07 2005

Mouse Diapers... the spinoff Mouse_20Diapers
[UnaBubba, Oct 07 2005]

"Hello, support? My mouse is frozen..."
-- Ian Tindale, Oct 07 2005


"In that case, Sir, I suggest you use it to stir your cocktail."
-- angel, Oct 07 2005


Mice are congenitally incontinent - there's going to be a slick of mouse p1ss in no time - your desktop'll stink.
-- coprocephalous, Oct 07 2005


"But, whatever you do, don't use it to stir the gravy, OK...?"

Enhanced revenue stream, [copro] mouse diapers.[link]
-- UnaBubba, Oct 07 2005


[copro]..and you'll die of Wile's Disease
-- Dub, Oct 07 2005


It's Weil's Disease and that's a load of codswallop, [Dub]. Pet mice don't have Weil's Disease, unless they come into contact with wild mice.
-- UnaBubba, Oct 07 2005


[Ub] I bow to your obviously superior knowledge on the subject of pet-mouse piss. While I've only been on a 10-20 HSE presentations on avoiding contact with the stuff in tube stations.

Will you have to supply one of those drinking bottles to water them, too? (Sort of inverted codswallop-type) Will that have to be a PC attachment?

Bags I don't get the job of keeping your opto-mechanical one in working order.
-- Dub, Oct 08 2005


//While I've only been on a 10-20 HSE presentations on avoiding contact with the stuff in tube stations.// Why do they have pet mice in the Tube? Do they use them when they can't get hold of canaries?
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Oct 08 2005


How do you think the escalators work?
-- Ian Tindale, Oct 08 2005


The idea [williamsmatt] was dissing.
-- UnaBubba, Oct 14 2008


cheese virus.
-- FlyingToaster, Oct 14 2008


Hah!
-- UnaBubba, Oct 14 2008


"Toilet trained mice are a little extra."
The untrained ones _leave_ a little extra.
-- phoenix, Oct 14 2008


We all leave something, [phoe], even if it's just crap.
-- UnaBubba, Oct 14 2008



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