This mobile is only just. It is a fairly standard up to date GSM dual band phone on the audio side, but that's where the similarity ends. It has a 12 digit nixie tube numerical display. It has a fold-out bellows with a 45mm lens and leaf shutter, behind which sits the 126 film cartridge you inserted some time ago. It has a morse key, for messaging nearby peers. It also has a small folded-up atlas and an A-Z for finding your nearest. It can play cassettes. It can also tune into the AM band (7 transistor, with ferrite bar aerial).-- Ian Tindale, Jun 06 2007 Retro Cell Phone Retro_20Cell_20PhoneNot dissimilar? Redundant? [hippo, Jun 07 2007, last modified Jun 08 2007] The Hands-Free kit http://www.hawkin.c...STK_PROD_CODE=08850More comfortable than the one [Canuck] was proposing - look, he's smiling! [hippo, Jun 07 2007] Housman http://www.bartleby.com/123/40.htmlNot actually 'A Shropshire Lad' at all, but I thought it was until I checked. [pertinax, Jun 07 2007] Blue Remembered Hills http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0078882/Dennis Potter play inspired by the Houseman poem. [DrBob, Jun 07 2007] Can it at least have a re-configurable chime mechanism?-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 06 2007 Also limited to 30 min. talk time, analog AMPS (824-894 MHz), and should weigh at least a couple of pounds *without* the required alkaline batteries.-- nuclear hobo, Jun 06 2007 Don't forget the sextant for location based services.-- DenholmRicshaw, Jun 06 2007 Maybe an MP1 player?-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 06 2007 <admires the shade of brown bakelite>-- po, Jun 07 2007 Would there be room to squeeze in one of Mr Baird's Televisors?-- DenholmRicshaw, Jun 07 2007 Don't forget it should also have a pair of tin cans and a short length of string for communicating with other similarly-equipped local devices. Perhaps the antenna should be held aloft by kite.-- coprocephalous, Jun 07 2007 I want mine to play 8-tracks.
And have a compass.
And a big C-clamp attachment for hands-free use
<clamps unit to head - Ouch! It's too tight! Nnngh, nnngh! Urk! Ahhhh! Much better!>-- Canuck, Jun 07 2007 So this would be from A.E. Housman's famous work 'A Shropshire Nerd' (see link):
Upon my specs the rains that tease From yon far country blow: What Blue Remembered Mobiles these, What aerials for show?
That is the Land of lost content-Providers, one and all. The happy crowd of anoraks Who rarely come at all.-- pertinax, Jun 07 2007 Bun just for the nixie tubes ! Love all the rest of it too ! Compass is good, though the ferrite bar and other magnetic bits may be troublesome ... the sextant is nice for full global functionality, but would require a book of tables and a mechanical chronometer. How about a pair of clip-leads so it could connect to the landline network ?-- batou, Jun 07 2007 I'm gonna put a Flavor Flav clock on mine. To each generation his own I guess.-- punk_punker, Jun 07 2007 Thinking, it would have to have a proper multi-tap battery for the valves' (vacuum tubes) grid bias, or perhaps a cat's whisker.-- coprocephalous, Jun 07 2007 Next up, the mobile mobile-- a crib decorative made of old used cell-phones.-- RayfordSteele, Jun 07 2007 Optional wax cylinder module for recording and playing back your voicemails.
Oh and a drum unit for usage in remote (jungle) areas.-- zen_tom, Jun 07 2007 Can it include a crochet tool? I might want to send a textile.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 07 2007 Perhaps a couple of small semaphore flags in case the battery dies.-- Canuck, Jun 08 2007 a calcium-carbonate acetylene lamp for the keypad backlight. with flint + tinder to light it of course.
it must mysteriously store and dispense delicous boiled sweets too.-- Custardguts, Jun 08 2007 Does it have an electric bell instead of that annoying electronic frog?-- Galbinus_Caeli, Jun 08 2007 //a calcium-carbonate acetylene lamp // sp. "calcium carbide"-- coprocephalous, Jun 08 2007 ... and the Geek shall inherit the Earth ...-- Canuck, Jun 09 2007 Beware of Geek's boring retrofits!-- Ling, Jun 09 2007 Does it have a "Punched" SIM card?-- kamathln, Jun 12 2007 halfbakery