People these days are so afraid of their Christmas Trees catching fire. Some individuals even go as far as to buy one of those little ornaments that has a cheap heat alarm installed. However, these can only do so much.
I propose the next step: automated suppresion. A tree base has a built in fire extinguisher-style tank. A hose connected to the tank runs up the trunk. There are several nozzles in the tank, and a large spreading one in the special included tree topper (models in bows, stars, and angels). The topper has an embedded heat sensor. A loud horn in the base will sound if a fire is sensed.
The base should have a heavy-duty cord for the wall, with outlets in the base for lights. The outlets would be switched and would shut down if the lights were pulling too much amperage. The system should also have a sensor to set off an alarm when there is low water. If it is detected that the tree is too dry, the outlets will switch off until water is added. In other words, the outlets will be GFCI and AFCI. They would also switch off when the suppression system is activated.-- fogfreak, Dec 07 2003 A GFCI circuit on the lights would be a good idea, too. (+).-- Cedar Park, Dec 07 2003 Introduce a new Christmas ritual: Everyone in the family stands around the tree before going to bed, pissing on the tree. Turning off the lights first is optional, but advised.-- UnaBubba, Dec 07 2003 Nice link [o]! I hadn't heard of those.
How about a tree skirt that is also a fire blanket? You'd need some sort of mechanism to rapidly fire it up and constrict it around the tree, though.-- krelnik, Dec 07 2003 I originally meant for the built in outlets to have GFCI and AFCI, I just forgot what those things were called. Thanks, idea changed.-- fogfreak, Dec 07 2003 I like the idea of the little angel hoisting up her little skirt and merrily sprinkling on the fire below....-- phlogiston, Dec 07 2003 Very apt too, the whole heaven (angel) versus hell (fire) thing.-- silverstormer, Dec 07 2003 Well, [UB]...Merry Pissmas.-- Eugene, Dec 07 2003 I will spray the tree, no worries. It smells worse than me.-- The Kat, Dec 07 2003 And a Happy New Peer!-- UnaBubba, Dec 07 2003 Perhaps the angel should get a constipated look on her face, lift her skirt, and let fly. The foam could be colored brown. I think this would be better since a fire extinguisher is more than just a little sprinkle.-- fogfreak, Dec 08 2003 I can imagine coming down the stairs on Christmas day, kids all excited ... only to find the tree has been transformed into a titanic lunp of fire-retardant foam. Santa didn't like the tree, so he set it on fire.-- Letsbuildafort, Dec 08 2003 Poke flowers and twigs into the foam, like florists' foam.-- UnaBubba, Dec 09 2003 halfbakery