Fashion: Animal
Frogfrog and starfish dominatrices   (+13, -1)  [vote for, against]
Let amphibia and echinodermata meet

Amphibians and echinoderms can never encounter each other, but they have similar problems and there is ample ground for empathy between them. Both have problems with the wrong salinity levels. It's just so sad that they can't talk about it, except maybe by post.

The answer is to provide them both with diving suits for the other's environment. They both get suits permeable to respiratory gases but not to water, and the problem is solved. This is particularly appealing in the case of starfish, which can be clad in skintight latex-like knobbly suits with five brutal scary-looking zip fasteners, one for each of the arms, allowing the whole project to be funded by starfish porn.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 08 2008

There's really not a lot of this out there... http://lizardjee.li...nal.com/222193.html
...but there is some (sort of). [nineteenthly, Jun 08 2008]

Torah on mixing linen and wool http://www.beingjew...itzvos/shatnez.html
This is obvious? [jutta, Jun 08 2008]

Rishathra http://www.google.c...definition&ct=title
[normzone, Jun 09 2008]

Aqua Pope Aqua_20Pope
Slightly similar [nineteenthly, Jun 09 2008]

Proof that inter-species lovin' does happen http://news.bbc.co..../nature/7379554.stm
The love that dare not squeak its name... [lostdog, Jun 09 2008]

Yes, it's obvious now you mention it.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 08 2008


// starfish porn. //

"The HalfBakery: taking Paraphillia to an even lower level than you thought possible, i.e. requiring SCUBA gear....."

[+/-] ......
-- 8th of 7, Jun 08 2008


Anything generating higher sales of SCUBA gear gets my vote.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jun 08 2008


Great. There just isn't enough porn on the internet. Something like this ought to spice things up.
-- Bad Jim, Jun 08 2008


I really don't think there's enough starfish porn for anyone on the internet who wants it. I was also wondering if the empathy would lead to the amphibians and echinoderms getting it on in some way, and that at least wouldn't be meaningless sex.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 08 2008


<not quite off topic>

If two non-human species engage in sexual relations does it still qualify as bestiality ?

</nqot>
-- 8th of 7, Jun 08 2008


Well, it's not kosher. It's specifically forbidden in the Torah, somewhere near where it says you can't wear clothes made of linen and wool (for obvious reasons).
-- nineteenthly, Jun 08 2008


So...what if your sheep eats flax plants?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 08 2008


Then the whole thing becomes a white wool flax-up.
-- imaginality, Jun 08 2008


"Do you rish?" (link)
-- normzone, Jun 09 2008


So, like don't wear plaid and stripes together?
-- xandram, Jun 09 2008


I don't know about starfish porn but there's an awful lot of frogs porn out there.
-- DrBob, Jun 09 2008


I think I want to bone the idea, and bun whatever you're smoking.
-- Noexit, Jun 09 2008


//It's specifically forbidden in the Torah//
Starfish/amphibian porn is specifically forbidden in the Torah?
<emits low whistle of frank admiration> That God dude is not merely omniscient, but totally prescient </elwofa>
-- coprocephalous, Jun 09 2008


Sounds like you've been smoking weed with Willie.
-- nomocrow, Jun 09 2008


OK, not actual sex between those specific animals, but the principle of sex between animals of different species is specifically forbidden in Leviticus XIX:XIX (my favourite number): "Thou schalt not make thi beestis to gendre with the lyuynge beestis of another kynde. Thou schalt not sowe the feeld with dyuerse sede. Thou schalt not be clothid in a cloth, which is wouun of twei thingis." (Wyclif this time because there's no Tyndale). So actually it's the same verse. There's even a Hebrew word for Rishathra: kilayim - forbidden mixture of species. Kilayim seems to cover both the naughty animal and the naughty cloth things.

We could make it even naughtier if we made their suits out of mixed fibres, unless they were both rabbis of course. And so the underwater rabbi problem we encountered with the Aqua Pope rears its head again.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 09 2008


//Thou schalt not be clothid in a cloth, which is wouun of twei thingis//So, poly-cotton is a no-no?
Does this extend to drysuits made from tri-laminate?
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jun 09 2008


For that, they burn you at the stake ....
-- 8th of 7, Jun 09 2008


Yeah, and that really stinks.

Well, it's a bit weird actually, because that's what the Bible says in some translations but not others, and orthodox Jews also refuse to wear anything that might be mistaken for wool and linen mixed.

[Lostdog], i could just _tell_ there was something creepy about that seal. Just look into its eyes.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 09 2008


//orthodox Jews also refuse to wear anything that might be mistaken for wool and linen //

First, I've never understood what's so bloody orthodox about them. But I digress.

Since when has linen been a beesti? Last time I looked, it was a plaanti. Flaaxi, to be specifici.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 09 2008


I think they're generally against mixing things together. The same verse, or one near it, forbids growing two crops in the same field. No hasidic permaculturists then, presumably. Flax is indeed a wyrt, ac that's presumably even worse because the difference between a sheep and a flax plant is rather bigger than between, say, a sheep and a human.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 09 2008


The phrase "completely loopy" springs to mind. One day, I'll put together a list of profoundly inconvenient arbitrary rules, and wait for someone to start a religion based on it.

"Thou shalt not eatte a crunchie food and a chewie food from the saim plait, save that thou useth a fork made of the hooves of a smallest pig, except on the fourth Tuwesday of each Month."

"Thou shalt carry always a small twig, and keepe it drie."

"Thou shalt not allow the water which has been used to wash Glass things to mixe with the water that has been used to wash Polythene things."
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 09 2008


So a desire to see impossible and doubly unnatural animal relations segues into a discussion of ancient social mores designed to perpetuate inbreeding? Only on the HB.
-- WcW, Jun 09 2008


Ain't it great?
-- nomocrow, Jun 09 2008


Verily.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 09 2008


Forsooth and yea. There are some odd things out there resulting from biological evolution, for instance female spiders which are actually tied up by their mates before sex. Cultural memes are similar - weird stuff results. I do know, though, that there's a school of thought within Judaism which claims that the point of pointless rules is to test their faith, and that they are deliberately pointless.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 10 2008


Second hit on Google for "frogfrog"! [+]

Anyway, the suits don't have to be impermeable to water, just to salt. Maybe some kind of osmotic semipermeable membrane?
-- Wrongfellow, Jun 12 2008


So i'm a Googlewhackblatt of sorts? That's a claim to fame. Yes, it probably wouldn't be too hard, i would've thought.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 13 2008


you blooming twat don't you realize that per rule 34, now that its been someone must make starfish porn??
-- Voice, Jun 15 2008


Yes, i think that's probably true, but there's already tentacle hentai, so it's not too far a stretch is it?
-- nineteenthly, Jun 15 2008


So to speak.
-- imaginality, Jun 15 2008


I'm not aware of any pentamerously symmetrical human genitalia. Maybe pentamorous though.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 18 2008



random, halfbakery