A little known super hero of our every day world keeping the peace through local car-lot radio spots and commercials. Thats right, the man you hate so much is doing more than anyone ever knows. Keeping villians and would-be convicts on the straight-and-narrow by bombarding them with his ultra-fast legal speak. Sure any joe-somebody can talk fast, but nothing like the venerable voice of the legal-speaking super hero can subdue bad guys, and still deliver the fine print from your local used car repository.
When criminal avtivity is imminent, Legal Jargon Man springs into action, distracting evildoers, and instils them with his ramblings and a catchy jingle until the proper authorities arrive on the scene.
I miss the Micro Machine Man.-- Letsbuildafort, Dec 17 2003 John Moschitta, Jr. http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0608321/aka Micro Machine Man or the FedEx Fast Talker [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004] I miss him, too. (moment of silence with coughing)-- k_sra, Dec 17 2003 Me three (incredibly fast moment of silence)-- luecke, Dec 17 2003 who?-- po, Dec 17 2003 I object!-- phoenix, Dec 17 2003 reminds me of policy debaters from the nfl/speech and debate. assuming any of you are lucky enough to know what that is-- Space-Pope, Dec 17 2003 phoenix, yes you are the object...-- po, Dec 17 2003 Unidentified and flying?-- FarmerJohn, Dec 17 2003 An object of your affection perhaps?-- Letsbuildafort, Dec 17 2003 Er, I abject?-- phoenix, Dec 18 2003 I reject Your Honor!-- k_sra, Dec 18 2003 I, subject, subject, verb, subjects, object.-- FarmerJohn, Dec 18 2003 ... and his sidekick, Paralegal Boy!-- snarfyguy, Dec 18 2003 He's the superhero Harvey Birdman isn't-- Letsbuildafort, Dec 18 2003 (Legal Jargon Man is only available in limited areas and cannot be expected to spring into action, distracting evildoers, and stalling them with his ramblings and a catchy jingle until the proper authorities arrive on the scene, unless the party of the first party and the party of the second party have filed their consent with the party of the third party, hereafter refered to as the party3Pdiddy. There is no implied warranty of services or goods and the opinions of Legal Jargon Man are not nessesarily those of this station, it's affiliates or its subscribers. Use of Legal Jargon Man may or may not cause cancer, constipation and hives.)-- ato_de, Dec 18 2003 Oh dear, I'm gonna need a lawyer.-- k_sra, Dec 18 2003 And some acetaminophen.-- Letsbuildafort, Dec 18 2003 10.1 Legal Jargon Man shall promptly advise his insurer in writing of any actions, suits, claims, demands, proceedings, losses, damages, compensation, sums of money, costs, charges and expenses which may be brought or claimed against Legal Jargon Man or the company of the insurer or in respect of which Legal Jargon Man or the company of the insurer may become liable arising out of the application, delivery, supply or other use of legal terminology by Legal Jargon Man, his heirs, inheritors, executors, assigns, servants or agents.
10.2 Legal Jargon Man hereby indemnifies and agrees to keep the company of the insurer indemnified against any actions, suits, claims, demands, proceedings, losses, damages, compensation, sums of money, costs (including attorney and client costs), charges and expenses arising out of the application, delivery, supply or other use of legal terminology by the Legal Jargon Man, his heirs, inheritors, executors, assigns, servants or agents. The defence of any litigation to which this clause applies shall be under the control of Legal Jargon Man, his attorneys and counsel and all legal costs and expenses of any such litigation shall be borne by Legal Jargon Man and the company of the insurer, its solicitors and counsel who may participate in such litigation at the expense of the company of the insurer, at its discretion.-- UnaBubba, Dec 18 2003 halfbakery