Whilst in the prime of life, you create a list of things that you are never, ever likely to say. The list is then deposited with your partner who can then monitor you for signs of decline, and upon marking off three in a row, column or diagonal, can initiate steps to terminate what is obviously a life no longer worth living.
Such phrases could include:
I like that cardigan
I think I'll take up golf/gardening/knitting
Beige. I think we'll paint it beige
Let's go on a caravanning holiday
Judith Chalmers. Rrrr.
Ant and Dec...such talent
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 29 2005

prezza http://www.thecep.org.uk/wheezer.htm
he's got two luxury ministerial cars [rainbow, Dec 23 2005]

It's getting closer http://news.bbc.co....1/hi/uk/4660984.stm
[AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jan 30 2006]

1. John Prescott, what an intellectual.

2. list alert. damn it, I said it!
-- po, Mar 29 2005


Mental decline doesn't always indicate imminent death. One could go on for decades in my ur...that way.
-- dentworth, Mar 29 2005


....just like <insert name of least favorite polititian here>.
-- krelnik, Mar 29 2005


... When I was your age...
-- froglet, Mar 29 2005


My quandary. When I was younger, my mother would say "Just shoot me if I ever say anything like that". And I would always wonder why she would think that she might ever say something like that. She's since started saying things like that, but stopped with the just shoot me bit.
-- goldilox, Mar 30 2005


Lets do this electronically:

1) Constant monitoring to improve success rate before you embarrass yourself publicly too often.

2) What if your friends are having the same trouble? Will they be able to make the appropriate judgments of your situation. Even worse if they somehow sensed their own decline and don’t alert you to your verbal slips in the hope you won’t comment on theirs in the vain attempt of prolonging their own superfluous lives.

3) The device can monitor and automatically wirelessly prepare for burial and flowers in advance to optimize costs. Emails friends to prepare them for the shock.

4) Could be an implant that electrically terminates you, perhaps by overstimulating the pleasure center.
-- Widgit, Mar 30 2005


Putting this up was your first pointer....
-- xenzag, Oct 06 2005


shit..i'm a gardener. and i'm typing this in beige room.

and i kinda like john 'two jags' prescott. have i peaked?

[Widgit] i was genuinely cackling and sobbing with laughter. thank you.
-- rainbow, Dec 23 2005


I'm sitting reading this wearing my light brown cardigan, in a beige caravan, while on a golfing holiday with Judith Chalmers, and she's watching "Byker Grove" on video while knitting me some new gardening gloves.....

Imagine how I feel..
-- Minimal, Jan 30 2006


You know, I always thought that the way Kirk and Spock tucked their pants into their boots looked silly.. now it looks a bit practical for varied terrain.. even a little sexy....
-- ionsfromzion, Oct 10 2006


People often change their mind and their outlook on life as they get older. I say some things in my 30's that I would have never said (and too embarassed to say) in my 20's. Personally I wouldn't want someone to tell me that I was thinking incorrectly when I thought that I was. For instance I hate when my loved ones insist that I need a nap when I feel perfectly fine. After taking a nap I feel much better than I did but I rather that they didn't bother me in the first place.
-- Jscotty, Oct 10 2006


The Internets is a lovely thing. I wonder how long it took her to write it? What does that button do again?
-- Dub, Nov 02 2006


"Hah, what silly things I saw as good ideas when I was a kid... The list, for example..."

First thing on the list. If ever I start to doubt the list was a good idea, it will mean I have aged to a degree from which no ginseng or Viagra could retrieve me. That sentence alone should be worth at least three marks on the Bingo board.
-- Veho, Nov 02 2006


My knee hurts when it rains.
I just don't understand these kids.
Son, help me set up this DVD player.
EH??
-- Voice, Nov 03 2008


I spent my twenties listening to lounge music and wearing cardigans. I fully deserve to raise hell as I get older.
-- wagster, Nov 04 2008


Son, help me set up this new-fangled tiny record player.
-- phundug, Nov 04 2008



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