Ninjas. Everybodies favorite martial artist assassins.

Silent, invisible, dexterous and deadly. But nowadays alas, many Ninjas are finding themselves on the dole-queues with nothing to do. Ruthless daimyo's simply don't call for the services of your average ninja any more, and the more modern, urban ninjas are equally under-employed.

How about utilising this surplus of talent to assist the inebriated in bars, whilst creaming off a tidy profit? A nudge of an elbow just before it slips off the bar to preserve the upright stance and dignity of the nudgee, a gentle guiding arm to stop a pint being spilled needlessly, or a carefully honed set of manoeuvres to steer someone safely to the gents (or the ladies) without getting in anyone else’s way.

In short, how about a chain of bars, in which are employed an army of ninjas, all of whom are tasked to invisibly correct the collapsing motor functions of the horribly drunk.
-- zen_tom, Jul 06 2004

Somehow fits... http://www.tvdance.com/drunken-master/
The legend. [RayfordSteele, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

A more flexible arrangement would be for the non- (or not-yet-) horribly drunk. How about an army of freelance ninjas, who you could call like a taxi? They'd meet you at a bar, and upon request, could silently, efficiently, and swiftly get you a drink from the overworked bartender. Spend your time where it's best used: drinking and carousing, not waiting for a refill! (Croissant)
-- shavenwarthog, Jul 06 2004


I'll vote for this as long as you use a monk for the bartender.
-- zigness, Jul 06 2004


Do the ninjas join in if a fight breaks out?
-- swimr, Jul 06 2004


"When you can snatch the peanut from my hand, then you will be ready, Grasshopper."
-- GenYus, Jul 06 2004


What a waste of ninjas. When's the killing start???
-- simonj, Jul 06 2004


// use a monk for the bartender //
"The glass is not empty, it is full of possibilities, and will be $5 thanks"
-- reap, Jul 06 2004


I must vote for this on principle. Ninjas and Inebriation.

Ah, life.
-- Blumster, Jan 31 2005


Just a short autobiographical note: After 4+ years of working all over the place, I have finally returned to the very same office I was working* in when I first looked on the HB - an office from whence I may well have posted this idea. And they *still* haven't blocked the 'bakery - Hoorah!

One Olympiad of bakery.

P.S. It all feels a bit strange.

* browsing the internet.
-- zen_tom, Sep 01 2008


Oh for goodness saké!
-- 4whom, Sep 01 2008


<overpedantic> //...I have finally returned to the very same office I was working in...// - tchah! - "in which I was working", you mean.</overpedantic>

These ninjas would be trained in the use of reproduction horse brasses, I assume?
-- hippo, Sep 01 2008



halfbakery