Its getting towards the end of the night, you're hungry, but fancy something a bit more upmarket from the normal mixed chicken and lamb kebab. Someone suggests a curry. There are general nods of agreement and before your slightly befuddled brain can catch up, you're sitting with your back to a corner, at a big round table, and sombody has just put a plate of poppadoms and a little bowl of mango cutney in front of you. At this point, the second (quickly downed at the insistance of your hungry friends) half of your last pint decides to make its presence felt on your bladder. You look up and gaze hopefully across the curry house. Aha!, there, in the corner, the lav. But wait!, you are trapped. Five inebriated friends to the left and four to the right stretching off around the table like a confusing ring of fools. Three options are open to you, do you take the left?, the right? or slide suspiciously under the table and make yourself the butt of many oral sex related joke. You begin to panic. the strain is showing on your face. What to do?!

Just then the waiter, who is conviniently walking past with a big plate of peshwari nan, notices your predicament. Smiling suavely he fishes a small remote control from his waistcoat pocket and doobrys it in your direction. The table, and all the chairs begin to slowly rotate. Once it has come to a full stop with your chair pointing at the toilet, you excuse your elf with a minimum embarassment and person-assault-course related activities. Smiles all round. A memorable night.
-- Zircon, Sep 04 2002

You could have the toilet that comes to you.. or something. Or maybe a curtain and a hole in the seat, connected to a complicated system of tubes and sluices.
And what happens if the waiter never shows up with the remote?
-- NickTheGreat, Sep 04 2002


I was thinking about some kind of patron controll but you know that would lead to drunken table spinning battles, curry splattered every where.
-- Zircon, Sep 04 2002


That is how you spell it right? A sluice gate, used to control water flow.
-- NickTheGreat, Sep 04 2002


Where is this idea carpetbombing campaign coming from Zircon? Are you alright? You trying to hide yourself away from something?

Anyhow, this is a good idea, the Lazy Susan Writ Large, surprised it's not been halfbaked before. Also useful for extraheavy bongs and a table of tokers too far gone for manual-digital control. Alternatively, Human Roulette (cue posting?)...
-- General Washington, Sep 04 2002


<off-topic> GW: I was also concerned at the overall volume of Zirc's ideas. Not that that's at all a bad thing... </off-topic>
-- NickTheGreat, Sep 04 2002


I thought this would just rotate the table full of food, specifically for Indian food, which tends to be ordered in plates of various foods. A rotating table could also come in very handy for dim sum.
-- XSarenkaX, Sep 04 2002


They have those, XSX, in several chinese restaurants near where I live. (and we've got one at home, too. Which I used the other day when I made curry..)
-- yamahito, Sep 04 2002


Can a flocking Road Cone /\ stand on it's head \/?
-- thumbwax, Sep 04 2002


Sorry you guys, am I posting too much? Some foolish mortal saw fit to give me a well paid but mostly dull summer job sitting in front of a computer. I've tried to cut back, but it's so hard. I've been trying to reduce the numbers of ideas I produce per day. (I'm down to one pack now). I've also been trying to replace some halfbakery time with less interactive 'theonion' reading, but its just not the same buzz.

But seriously, its a good point I don't want to be the agent of idea overload, so I'll restrict myself to 1 per day from now on.

(unless I think of something really spiffing)
-- Zircon, Sep 05 2002


btw [GW]; what's a 'Lazy Susan'?
-- Zircon, Sep 05 2002


A Lazy Susan is a circular, rotating stand which goes in the middle of the table. A vast, heavily cool one features in the opening scene of Temple of Doom.
-- General Washington, Sep 05 2002


I now realise that I have one, but was unaware.
-- Zircon, Sep 05 2002


One of our local Chinese restaraunts has very large "Lazy Susans" as the centrepiece of the circular tables. Now, if the centre remained fixed, and the table was on a toroidal platform that rotated very slowly around it, not only would this satisfy [Zircon's] desire for an "escape route" every few minutes, but the diners would enjoy a constant, gentle change of scenery and would all get a chance to watch the tropical fish, and look through the window into the kitchens. Additionally, the food selection would gradualy progress past the diners, avoiding the need for much passing of plates, bowls etc.

Once the optimal level of intoxication is achieved, the room would apparently become stationary, too.

Croissant !
-- 8th of 7, Sep 05 2002


For the record, [8th of 7]'s imagery prompted me to croissant this idea.
-- XSarenkaX, Sep 05 2002


ok we're cooking. For larger meals, banquets and the like, what about an inner and an outer ring of diners facing each other, the outwardfacing ring slowly going clockwise, the inwarders widdershins, with a small stationary armature in between them containing the food, condiments, etc. The automatic "adios, bore" function. Unless she's sitting next to you, in which case you're still screwed.
-- General Washington, Sep 05 2002


General Washington: But how would the diners in the centre get in and out ? Unless this was the way the staff got to and from the table - you would need a network of platform lifts on a lower floor, allowing a waiter to rise up (with small trolley) into the hole in the centre and serve the food. Alternatively, he could be lowered from above by a trapeze-type mechanism.

Both would be interesting ...
-- 8th of 7, Sep 05 2002


But how do the inner diners get to their seats?; could it be by means of an ornate and beautiful cast iron spiral staircase that winds down from a gallery where apertifs were served. Prehaps said staircase can exend down under the floor to seperate cloak room facilities for these diners. Hmm...

The problem of avoiding bores though is a big one. How about individual chairs with small tables attached to them (rather like a baby's chair) that move in an inter twining ballet-like fassion throughout the meal, intermitently meeting you up with friend and relatives just long enough to have a quick chat, and grab their cruet set, before waltzing to the central table to pick up some more pilau.
-- Zircon, Sep 05 2002


Damnit [8th of 7] you got there first! I was writing whilst you posted!
-- Zircon, Sep 05 2002



random, halfbakery