This is something that can be stowed vertically in the closet or flat under a bed. It's a fireproof coffin. If you wake up to find your house or apartment building on fire and cannot get out, jump in and seal it. The interior is softly padded to protect you from falling through a burning floor, and has an emergency oxygen supply inside. If the oxygen runs out before help arrives, a vent opens on each side (top, bottom, and each side) to allow air in, with several filters to keep out as much smoke as possible.
Includes a small AC unit to prevent it from turning into an oven, and strobe lights to make it easier for rescue teams to find. If you *do* die anyway, you're already in the coffin, saving your family the trouble of buying one for you.-- 21 Quest, Dec 11 2006 same idea? Panic_20Bedshameless self promotion [senatorjam, Dec 13 2006] Related Idea Self_20Evacuating_20BedsMore shameless elf promotion [oneoffdave, Dec 13 2006] //and strobe lights to make it easier for rescue teams to find//
Let's hope none of the rescue team are epileptic.
[+]-- theleopard, Dec 11 2006 I believe Royal Navy captains used to sleep in beds that doubled up as their coffins if they met their demise at sea. +-- xenzag, Dec 11 2006 //If you *do* die anyway, you're already in the coffin, saving your family the trouble of buying one for you.//Cremation may be tricky though.-- angel, Dec 11 2006 //Cremation may be tricky though.//
I see cremation being easier than ever with this. All your remains are already pre-crisped and neatly boxed up for transport to the crematorium.-- 21 Quest, Dec 11 2006 wow, this stops me fretting over the dangerous ones.-- po, Dec 11 2006 Baked. US$6,000 gets you a double bed with a lockdown hood, making it a mini panic room.-- BunsenHoneydew, Dec 12 2006 I have several questions about this bed, Bunsen. They are as follows:
1) Is this bed fireproof? (I mean all-around, or could fire burn upward through the bottom?)
2) Does this bed have an AC unit?
3) Is this bed solid enough to withstand a fall through a burning floor?
4) If this is taking the place of your bed, and therefore something you sleep in on a regular basis, is it available in larger sizes?
5) Does this bed contain an emergency oxygen supply and/or filtered air vents?-- 21 Quest, Dec 12 2006 I'm guessing no for all five.
We're all too quick to slag something as baked here.
Good idea 21, bun for you.-- Custardguts, Dec 12 2006 How about you get into the box and a spring, or rocket propels the box out of the burning house. We could use all that technology that high school physics classes have come up with for their "drop the egg off a building without it breaking" experiments. And if you don't like your neighbor, you could deliberately aim it at their house.-- EdisonsTwin, Dec 12 2006 yeah ok 21, what happens if you think the fires out, you think the oxygens out, so you open the "vents", letting out oxygen rich air, only to find hey shit man oxygen burns, you and ya coffin, nice idea, but er, i'm claustraphobic-- Stork, Dec 13 2006 [stork] are you drunk?
that didn't even make sense...
/you think the fire's out/ : have a simple outside temperature interlock.
/you think the oxygen's out/ once again, have a simple oxygen level (pressure in cylinder?) interlock.
/letting out oxygen rich air/ : not much...
/shit man oxygen burns/ not really, and you'd have to be buried in a pit of red hot coals or something of this to be a problem.
I for one think it's a good idea, I think [21] should look into mine underground rescue technology. I would outfit this enclosure with either an oxygen cylinder or an oxygen generator as per personal rescue kits, coupled with a CO2 scrubber to maximise effectiveness. You could have a survivable atmosphere for ages. In fact all the technology is there, including aerogel insulation, rebreathers, etc, you just have to put it together.
My suggestion would be a significant CO2, or better yet, HALON gas bottle aboard. Dual purpose; first it has a simple evaporator system to provide additional cooling to the interior of the coffin, and secondly, the venting CO2 or HALON will partially quell the fire in the vicinity of the coffin.-- Custardguts, Dec 13 2006 I once posted an idea about a "Velcro Casket", so that on that night, you know, THAT NIGHT, Halloween, when the living dead need to get out, all they had to do was RRRIIIPPP off the top, and step out.-- blissmiss, Dec 13 2006 It's a shame it's gone, Bliss. Sounds like a great idea.-- 21 Quest, Dec 13 2006 Perhaps instead of coffin, you could call it something with more of a positive lilt.
"What are you doing in my corpse hatch?" "Monty Burns, you're under arrest!" "Did I say 'corpse hatch?' I meant 'innocence tube!'"-- shapu, Dec 13 2006 Love the idea but I have doubts that you could install sufficient padding in a coffin-sized casket to protect the inhabitant from a fall through the floor.-- Mr Phase, Dec 13 2006 I was thinking about 4 inches of memory foam... would a restraint harness be practical, or would that just dangerously hinder egress?-- 21 Quest, Dec 13 2006 I'd rather fall a floor than burn to a crisp. I had this idea before but didn't post it. It was called a survival pod. Pretty much the same thing but it could also be used on the ocean.-- twitch, Dec 13 2006 I like the idea, but does it have to be called a coffin? That's a little defeatist.-- Cuit_au_Four, Dec 13 2006 This is straying into discworld territory but why not have some small extending legs to allow it to get away from the source of the fire.-- hidden truths, Dec 13 2006 steerable wheels and a bike-like drive? Hope you can make those turns down the stairwell.-- twitch, Dec 13 2006 Maybe a small reservoir of drinking water, too?-- 21 Quest, Dec 13 2006 Dunno 'bout you, [21], but I think I'd prefer a bottle of gin, some tonic, and a thermos of crushed ice.
And maybe a lemon.
If I'm gonna burn, I'm doing it in style.-- m_Al_com, Dec 14 2006 dark. The whole idea of getting a coffin to save your life is a little bit "iffy", especially when your house is an inferno.-- Dmedia, Dec 14 2006 /and secondly, the venting CO2 or HALON will partially quell the fire in the vicinity of the coffin./ Don't forget that HALON turns to phosgene gas in a fire. You could kill the rescue squad!-- wittyhoosier, Dec 14 2006 they should have BA on anyhows...
seriously, maybe fire retardant foam, powder or just good ol' CO2 then-- Custardguts, Dec 14 2006 What about nitrogen? Doesn't support combustion, non-toxic...-- 21 Quest, Dec 14 2006 [21 Quest]: according to the advertising blurb (and no, I can't find a link, I did look)
1) Yes 2) Yes 3) Yes 4) No, one size - king 5) Optional
It also contains an all-band scanner, rations, an emergency power supply, a cell-phone, a separately wired landline, and a public adress speaker on the outside. And a kickin' sound system.
I may have been wrong about the price. It could have been $16k, or $60k-- BunsenHoneydew, Dec 14 2006 halfbakery