before tramping through snake infested fields, swamps and ditches, make sure you are properly kitted out with these anti-venom/anti-throttle socks.

many snakes detest perfumes, and to this end these socks are impregnated with 1 litre of pure stale male sweat and baked in an ordinary oven for three weeks at mark 6 until the ankle area is rock hard approximately 7 on the moh scale. the smell will put off any sensible snake and the hardness factor would prevent any constrictor type snake getting a serious grip on your leg.

as a further precaution, dead mice are knotted by the tails to threads suspended from the top of the sock. any snake daft enough to get near these socks is rewarded with a mouse treat giving you enough time to leg it to safe ground.
-- po, Jan 06 2005

.......waiting for the illustration........
-- normzone, Jan 06 2005


[po]: //impregnated with 1 litre of pure stale male sweat//, //rock hard//

Have you been rifling through my brother's gym bag?
-- contracts, Jan 06 2005


phew, no! <holds nose>
-- po, Jan 07 2005


Being somewhat fashion-conscious, I would dye my socks and mice with camoflage to match my combat trousers.
-- wagster, Jan 07 2005


And a sweaty mongoose as a companion, that should do it.
-- skinflaps, Jan 07 2005


You'd have to travel alone, and you'd have to not have a sense of smell or decency.

And yeah, illustrate.
-- notmarkflynn, Jan 04 2006


illustrate? moi? HA HA! o.k. you got me wondering.

I don't have a sense of anything really.
-- po, Jan 04 2006


Two days short of a year later, and to quote the Talking Heads, "I'm stiiiiiill waiting, I'm stiiiiiill waiting".
-- normzone, Jan 04 2006



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