3 Cans Garbanzo beans (drained)
3 - 4 tablespoons Tahini (Sesame butter)
4 - 6 cloves Garlic (chopped)
1 Lemon or lime
1/3 cup Olive Oil
1 pint (Imperialist Pig or UK) Nails
Saltpeter to taste

1. Sauté the chopped garlic in oil over a low flame. Make sure there are no explosives nearby.

2. Juice the lime or lemon.

3. Place all ingredients except nails in a large blender. Blend well. This could take several minutes. Your hummus will be thick and have a dry consistency.

4. Add good water (not Southern California tap water if possible) in about 1/8 cup amounts and blend until the desired consistency is achieved.

5. Set the hummus in a service bowl pre-filled with Nails. A few branches of parsley placed on the hummus adds a nice look to the dish, while hiding any errant Nails.

6. Just before eating/exploding make an indent in the center of the hummus plate and pour a small amount of olive oil into the indent.

6*. You can eat/explode it right away, but the hummus improves if it sits overnight in the refrigerator.
-- thumbwax, Apr 11 2002

strain mixture at some point through 15 denier tights / pantyhose
-- po, Apr 11 2002


TW . . .
-- bristolz, Apr 11 2002


Looks like a recipe. Will it taste like one, too?
-- neelandan, Apr 11 2002


Needs soap (and possibly orange juice).
-- angel, Apr 11 2002


[Thumbwax] Are you trying to bait AfroAssault in to posting an idea? Or is this merely a bad Arabian pun?
-- stupop, Apr 11 2002


Me - baiting? Ha! Any similarity in sound between Hummus and Hamas is a mere coincidence.
-- thumbwax, Apr 11 2002


Potassium Chlorate, Petroleum Jelly, Paraffin Oil, Water, Chick Peas, Lemon, Garlic, Tahini, Salt.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 11 2002


Lebanese, isn't it?
-- bristolz, Apr 11 2002


There are variants of it from Greece to Afghanistan. Each of them claim it as their own, as they do the kebab, babaghannoush, taboulleh...

Just another ground for disagreement.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 12 2002


No, no, po, you don't strain the mixture *through* the tights, you pour it *over them*.
-- salachair, Apr 12 2002


so *that* is where I am going awfuk wrong! thanks. I am afraid I made granny very very ill indeed
-- po, Apr 12 2002


asault with a deadly hummus. hmmm. it's making dishes similar to this that destroyed yet another of my food processors.
-- aubergine, Sep 03 2002



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