Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Alternative Sounds Sound Machine

Set the tone of your next sex party or interrogation
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Typically sound machines emit white noise, wind, wave and water splashing sounds to soothe the listener to sleep and promote health and well-being.

The Alternate Sounds Sound Machine uses completely synthesized (*) sounds of pain, flogging, assimilation and event-response anguish to set the stage for criminal interrogation and to ensure compliance among a group. Useful for B&D sex parties, prisons, correctional facilities and certain educational institutes where smiles and kind words only get you so far.

Device settings would include type of sound, volume, echo, degree of harsh language and delay between events.

(*) to avoid the requisite visit to the Help File

whatrock, Apr 16 2016

Pretty much the exact opposite. _22Sounds_20of_20th..._20Masking_20Device
[FlyingToaster, Apr 17 2016]

MyNoise http://mynoise.net/
For [bungston]. Has a few scary sounds, too. See also alternativeTo's suggestions [notexactly, Apr 19 2016]

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       Weird, disturbing, yet strangely attractive.   

       [+]
8th of 7, Apr 17 2016
  

       [whatrock] -   

       We regret that we are already scheduled for the night of your next sex party, but we appreciate the invitation.   

       Perhaps next time - [normzone]
normzone, Apr 19 2016
  

       So this is a fear soundtrack. Your ordinary person probably would not have much daily use for the fear. I wonder if there could be a focus soundtrack.   

       I recall that in the library, the soft sounds of muted and incomprehensible conversation seemed to hone my focus. This is yet another question, like the chewing gum for focus question, which could be answered by a randomized series of tests using schoolchildren who would have to do the tests anyway.
bungston, Apr 19 2016
  

       //"... assimilation and event-response anguish." //

"Fine, Greg I'll bring potato salad. Walter is already bringing potato salad but I guess I'll bring MORE potato salad. Fine, fine, fine whatever you want. This department potluck is going to be a monument to mediocrity. Again. Ugh."
Letsbuildafort, Apr 26 2016
  


 

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