h a l f b a k e r y
Contrary to popular belief
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An idols type show using art instead of music
The contestants would initially be required to submit a portfolio
eleven works of art, including one ceramic object, one pencil
still life in mixed media, one portrait in the medium of their
one relief sculpture (to be submitted in photographic form with
ownership, eg, signature), one al fresco or graffiti (also
submitted in photographic form), one landscape, one Surrealist
in oils, one Absurdist/Dadaist sculpture, one Pop Art work,
ONE computer generated work.
The resulting pick, of 11 contestants, would appear one at a time,
no particular order (draw names out of a beret, if you like) , and
given a limited choice of subject matter and media to work with,
and they'd have, say, ten or fifteen minutes to execute an artwork
a specified size in front of a live studio audience and seven
The contestants would be briefed before the show on their
appointed task, so that they'd have time to prepare themselves for
it. They'd also be allowed to choose a (preferably musical)
soundtrack to accompany them as they worked.
There could also be some team efforts in between the 11 single-
contestant episodes. For instance, two or three artists getting
together to plan their own live action 10/15 minute artwork.
Guest artists, like James Beckett, Jasper Johns, or Astrid Dahl
also feature...just to drag it out a bit and let the producers get
money's worth, or just to help the whole shebang be as epic a fail
A landscape wot I did a few days ago
Snowing [Ian Tindale, Mar 06 2018]
||This is of limited appeal, but would be interesting for those who like it.
||i like it! (said the fat German tourist in the cool pool at
Planet Baobab in Botswana)...
||This would solve the question of which art is correct and
which others arent worth bothering looking at.
||There should be a similar facile television competitive show
for poetry, so we know which one is good poetry, and also
one for commuting, so we know the best way to commute,
and another one for birdwatching, so that we know which is
the best person at it.
||// one for birdwatching, so that we know which is the best person at it. //
||Celebrity Death Match between Bill Oddie and The Duke Of Attenborough.
||//one landscape// I assume that this one should also be submitted photographically?
||It would be more entertaining if the artist was required to bring the actual landscape.
||Some shovelling might be required.
||// the fat German tourist in the cool pool at Planet Baobab in Botswana //
||Moron ... if he had any sense, this time of year he'd be off down to Paarl to pop a few corks ...
||that's if they got a grape harvest at all this year...what with
the cape drought...but i suppose there's always lots of wine
in the cellars... i wouldn't know. my alcohol consumption is
limited to one or two (dutch) beers a month...the life of a