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Authority-permissive Electrocution upon Initial So

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As a general rule I will refuse to read or listen to a passage that begins, out of the blue with no prior context, with the word “So”. It can’t make sense, to rebut or position as consequential a passage that has not yet had anything said to rebut or hasn’t yet had anything said to then position itself as a consequence to. If the first word is entirely incorrect, then think how even more incorrect the rest of it must be – give up now and go elsewhere.

A sub classification category of this is when in a discussion a person begins their turn every single fucking time with the word “So”, even when they aren’t rebutting or supporting a point of view, or about to position their blurtage as consequential to something which immediately came before. It seems these idiots just like saying the word “So” to begin having their voice heard, while their brain gears up to thinking about something to say sometime later as the trailing edge of the word “So” fades out and their thinking might hopefully fade in.

Obviously you can’t just blat these people about the head with a short plank of wood – society frowns on this, for some reason (and yet allows people to begin utterances with “So” – is this justice?). What I think should be able to be getawaywithed is simple but non- lethal (nominally) electrocution, in the form of an electric shock. It worked with Milgram’s early experiments, so why not more generally? Just administer an electric shock (at a setting given to you by a person in a white lab coat, therefore conveying authority) every time someone just out of the blue for no reason whatsoever and no contextual accuracy starts a passage of speaking with the word “So”.

Ian Tindale, Jan 05 2018


       So much angst, [Ian].
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 05 2018

       Make it sew.
Ian Tindale, Jan 05 2018

       So that there should be no room for confusion, I thought I should construct a sentence that demonstrated that "So" is not always an incorrect way to begin.
david_scothern, Jan 05 2018

       So that’s what you consider a valid use of beginning a paragraph with the word “So”? I would agree. There’s lots of legitimate usages. If I say something that has an implied effect, you might follow it up by saying “So as a result, the hedgehog catches fire, making the effective exchange rate across the Latvian/Queensland border only valid on Tuesdays.” – or I might say something that insults you and you follow it up and say “So, there’s enough brain activity going on in that skull to actually operate the mouth? I must have miscalculated”. Or something like that.   

       There’s plenty of legitimate instances of starting a phrase with “So”. However, I can’t think of any that apply to starting an entire passage out of the blue with no prior thing to respond to. If I open a thread on a website on the internet and the first thing I see is “So”, I leave and go elsewhere. It can’t be a response to anything – that’s the first word. How can it be a retort – a retort to what? That’s the first word of the entire thread, or the entire article. The first word can’t be “So”. What are you “So”-ing in response to? Nothing else has happened yet, stupid.
Ian Tindale, Jan 05 2018

       // non- lethal //   

       Nice idea, but insufficiently Darwinian. [-]
8th of 7, Jan 05 2018

       Anyway, enough about this problem of starting sentences with inappropriate words.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 05 2018

       Well, right, yes indeed.
hippo, Jan 05 2018

       Imagine if that were the start of an entire passage of text. It’d make no sense (unless it was a work of fiction, where you’re rudely dumped into a context with no manners whatsoever). Also, you don’t find people interviewed on telly saying “Anyway, …” to begin every single thing they say when it is their turn to speak, but you do with “So, …” –  and I stress, every single thing. Every paragraph. Every time. Come on, don’t they realise they’re doing this? Aren’t they annoyed themselves, being closer to it happening? Don’t they cringe thinking “oh no, I fucking said it again, why do I keep beginning my utterances with “So” like some moron”?
Ian Tindale, Jan 05 2018

       //So as a result, the hedgehog catches fire//   


       I think the locus classicus of initial-so fuckwittery is the opening of a particular lecture by Derrida in, I think, 1968 or possibly 1969. In that case the offence was aggravated by the fact that he was doing it on purpose to wind people up.   

       I applaud the intent of this idea. [+]
pertinax, Jan 05 2018

       So it has come to this.
Loris, Jan 05 2018

       pertinax,;:-–— thank you for clapping in a wigwam
Ian Tindale, Jan 05 2018

       So far, so good.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 05 2018

       So they say.
Ian Tindale, Jan 05 2018

       Don't tell Peter Gabriel about this idea
hippo, Jan 05 2018

       I did think about his album title when I was typing this out and wondered whether I really needed a jacket after all.
Ian Tindale, Jan 05 2018

       Can we move the discussion back to the critical issue, which is the point about gaining consent before administering lethal electric shocks ?   

       Is there no scope for gaining consent, but from someone other than the victim - preferably unknown to them, thus eliminating any emotional involvement ?   

       Milgram offers an excellent solution; if they perceive that their actions are authorized by "higher authority", some individuals (and indeed Collective Hegermonizing Swarms) have no scruples whatsoever concerning inflicting pain, injury or death on an unknown* subject.   

       *Or in our case, knowm subjects as well. And cats. And geography teachers.
8th of 7, Jan 05 2018

       I won't hear a word said against geography teachers, [8th]. You - of all people - ought to know the sacrifices they made in WW2 and before. Huge numbers of them signed up to defend the empire, and they were known as fearless fighters, to a man. Untold thousands of them lost their lives - often knowing that they were doomed - and those that survived were not well treated by England after the war. Yet hardly one of them complained. You should be ashamed of yourself.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 05 2018

       What if the title, opens the conversation? The blue would have to be well hidden.   

       It is hard to find a good 'out of the blue' and even harder to generate. Maybe, if out of the black, it will be easier.
wjt, Jan 05 2018

       No, hang on, I was thinking of Gurkhas.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 05 2018

       Don't worry, it's easy to see how the confusion can arise; after all on the one hand, they're evil, slitty-eyed, aggressive psychotic poison dwarves, lacking any sort of human feeling or morals, deserving only to be stuffed alive into a Wicker Man and slowly and painfully incinerated (preferably after a careful but intense beating with pickaxe helves that breaks almost every bone in their body yet leaves them alive and in excruciating pain), and on the other hand, Ghurkas* are from Nepal.   

       *Major Respect
8th of 7, Jan 05 2018

       I am pretty sure you'll find that Major Respect was in the USAF, not the Gurkhas.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 05 2018

       That's quite possible. We'll check on it.
8th of 7, Jan 05 2018

       So anyway, I was sitting in a bar halfway through a pint of VLite and some joker hacked my contacts to make it look as though everyone was wearing a santa hat; or at least that's what I thought. The truth was deeply unsettling - everyone *was* wearing a santa hat and I'd been living my life through someones VR hack for the past week.   

       (This use of so gives the impression you are jumping into a narrative already progressing and gives the text a sense of urgency)
bigsleep, Jan 06 2018

       So very true ...
normzone, Jan 06 2018

       Even worse is when they begin with a wretched word whose correct pronunciation includes a deep, defeated sigh and heavy whine at the mere thought of having to speak the sentences following it. “Aaanyway...”   

       We’re certain the etymology traces to when some Frenchman stayed in Aberdeen on an overnight trip with his mother-in-law.
RayfordSteele, Jan 06 2018

       So few humans live on Mars that it is populated entirely by robots.
notexactly, Feb 03 2018

       So they say.
Ian Tindale, Feb 03 2018

       I’m introducing one exception clause:   

       If (like myself this morning as I arrived at the workplace) you see a delivery lorry unloading large stacks of empty stackable crates, it is permissible to point and announce “So, crates”.
Ian Tindale, Jul 10 2019


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