h a l f b a k e r y
Veni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
or get an account
Lots of people seem to be hosting beards these days. Yes,
even men. Lots of beard-carriers also have headphones on,
It is a feature of human nature that we like to
what music were listening to, either by turning it up so
that it can be heard on an incredibly
noisy tube line, or by
tapping and drumming and dancing and air-synthing and
singing. Its that social thing, that causes us to seek the
company and recognition of other like-minded people, so
they can admire us as resembling the genius we portray
ourselves to ourselves as, thus feeding us the validation we
hunger for, like parasitic piglets.
Beards could be sprinkled with dust that contains a
transponder (for power leeching as well as data) and a
low-powered light-emitting or altering pixel. The relative
positioning of the sparkle dust could be oriented by showing
the dusted beard to the phone or tablet that is playing the
music the camera would be able to allow the position of
each dust particle to be identified and therefore addressed
a spatially meaningful way.
This would therefore allow the display of what music a
wearer is listening to. Perhaps even the karaoke lyrics, too,
as well as being lied to by our album covers. Also suitable
embedding in weaves, cornrows, wigs and hairpieces, for
[Ian Tindale, Jun 05 2015]
||You left out the mustache effect. Otherwise +
||I'm not convinced that the proposed technology is
viable. What is needed, without a doubt, is a
||Well of course its not viable, thats why I posted it
here instead of making a fortune with it in reality,
therefore getting out of the massive hole of debt and
pointless zero-result jobhunting or client-waiting-for.
This idea stands no chance of paying the rent, as is,
so heres where it gets filed.
||Well, you can do the opposite using dust.
||I think this is trick missing - I'm fairly sure that if a person has a beard ("a beard they don't want" -- Frankie Boyle) then I can tell without reading their beard that the music they like will be shit and boring. What I want the beard display to do is make explicit what it already implies: the wearer is lost and scared and their thoughts are clogged with self-loathing, that when they look into the mirror each morning and see the beard and the failure of self assertion that it makes manifest, but this apparent and unwanted style choice is too long now, too public to be repudiated, the beard and the beard fear are attached until the winds of media mandated taste blow this craven young man into another fashion trap. In other words, the beard display should feature an arrow pointing up and beneath that arrow either of the following legends (a) "such a bell end" or (b) "save me from my weakness"
||No no no!! The use of turmoil is, quite rightly, widely
frowned upon. The only significant market for
turmoil these days is China. Indeed, it is believed
that most of the decline of the wild turm population
can be attributed to this.
||No, I think you're thinking of parbs.
||What is that 'social' thing? Us hemits have no knowledge of it. Perhaps we are to crabby.
||While I'm here, what do Sikhs call 'hide and seek'? I'm too lazy to google it myself.
||Aha, later edit "luka-chipa" apparently.
I can get behind this, the beard display functioning as facepube flashcards, the limited set of which consists of nouns indicating turmoil, self-loathing, fear, neuroses u.s.w, the heart rate of the beard-sporter being linked to the rapidity of the switch between each flashcard.