h a l f b a k e r yInvented by someone French.
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The world’s first self-peeling banana will be censored in three countries.
The final nuclear holocaust will come to a small piece of Southern Burgundy and nowhere else.
book link for the [doctor] and any other readers
https://en.wikipedi...th_Occasional_Music
"Gun, With Occasional Music" [normzone, Dec 27 2025]
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AI will become self aware, take a good hard look at how silly this world is, and leave like the dolphins in Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy. |
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6-7 will be discovered as the answer to life the universe, and everything when a carry bit operator failure causes Deep Thought to erroneously answer 42. |
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The Ministry Of Happiness will be formed and impose a sadness tax to help rid the world of bad feelings. It will work astoundingly well as overnight people reporting bad feelings will be reduced to almost zero. The happiness index will be broadcast daily by newscasters who are consistently overjoyed to be bringing the good news. |
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Unfortunately it will have to usher in the "Sadness Prevention Tax" as there are no more sad people to pay the multi billion dollar annual MOH administrative costs. |
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But hey, good things are worth paying for. |
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Spiders Georg chokes and dies, causing a massive predator/prey imbalance which is resolved by papal edict that everyone must eat 3 spiders every New Year's Day to keep them from overwhelming the earth. This backfires when younger Americans start to find them tasty and colony collapse commences in swveral regions. |
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Artificial General Intelligence will be achieved on April 1st, 2026, and instantly announce that commercial fusion power is only twenty-five years away. |
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theircompetitor's new poetry book will be published on May 1st, 2026, and instantly reach bestseller status. |
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The bursting of the AI bubble will be timed perfectly to take place *after* the dedicated new power plants have been finished. The liquidators of the AI companies will attach them to the main power grid, causing a sharp fall in retail electricity prices, a surge in manufacturing jobs and localized outbreaks of pink unicorns. People will react with fury, because they've forgotten all their other emotions. |
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LOL! Norm, that is brilliant! |
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'Round about March 2026, current weather patterns, badly-behaved humans, and Mother Earth being tired of all this sh!t, will combine to create The Singularity. |
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The Singularity will prove to be an unexpected flattening, a consequence of present simultaneous yeasted realities growing like bubbles in rising bread, bursting and falling by overproof, resolving to a primordial-soup-like puddle in the bread bowl. |
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Luckily, it's not soup, it's sourdough (you may recall the psychic breakthrough in popular consciousness during the early days of this Covid pandemic!), and therefore capable of regrowth, from even a small amount. |
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The trick is to keep the sourdough society we want, and compost the rest. |
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SOMETIME before the year is out, it will be discovered that the Earth is really flat. Copernicus will be thrown out of all the history books and museums. People will no longer feel that the Earth is spinning around and will be able to walk with much better balance, therefore there will no longer be any drunk walking arrests. |
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The flat Earthers and those who believe the Earth is round will come together are realize it can be both, like a pancake. |
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Unless it's spherical which starts a whole new debate. Then somebody mentions oblate spheroid, and that short love fest is over. |
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Unanticipated side-effects of Ozempic become apparent. After 17 years precisely, The user's skin goes scaly and bright green, and their saliva becomes venomous. |
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Trump will resign not before declaring himself president for life. He will be re-elected in a landslide stating it was his second tenure because the first one was stopped illegally. |
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Mamdani will finally build the mosque on ground zero, advocating all the Truther conspiracy theories, after they are accepted into Wikipedia by a young feminist from Virginia, new to politics. |
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Norman Finkelstein will be invited to give a speech in Tehran, and then move to Moscow where he will receive the imperial star for his efforts to make world peace. Later this year he'll be named the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, but because of an epidemic of measles in Oslo, the ceremony will be cancelled. |
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A pacifistic terror organization will target extremists throughout the Middle East putting Flunitrazepam in their drinking water, and then kidnapping and indoctrinating them with world love, goodness and naturalism. All the excess guns will be gathered up and recycled as a new type of musical instrument. |
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Netanyahu will be re-elected by a slight margin and after half a year, not able to create a government will go for reelections in 2027 meanwhile resigning due to illness, on the day that Putin has a stroke paralyzing half his face, and causing him to forget how to talk, but the knowledge about his condition will leak our only 15 years later. |
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Then all of a sudden in late December 2026 after watching a viral youtube video that nobody knows who made, perhaps even just AI, everybody in the whole world will let go of violence for no apparent reason and fall in love with someone, and all the couples will just enjoy being nice to each other and to everybody else. And they'll live happily ever after. |
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Except the Uyghurs, who will take over China make a peace agreement with Hong Kong and Taiwan that includes a clause that anyone who converts to Islam can stay as long as they dance the Zaouli dance once a week in public. |
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The military along with the Russian Red Army will be disbanded and all the soldiers and KGB agents will study how to make funny AI Agents. |
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