Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Filo Seitan

It's textured glue
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

The idea is a home process to create a textured protein similar to meat.

Seitan is like low starch gnocchi and likewise quite bready.

To add a meat like texture, make a dough with essential flavourings e.g. soy, cumin, tamarin and roll out to create a surface. Then sprinkle on a barrier agent such as nutrional yeast, a smear of more soy or chick pea flour. Fold, stretch, fold, stretch.

Cut into pieces and fry. The result is* a low carb vegetarian** alternative to meat.

* Should be.

** 6 months and only one slip. A big Mac and an extra cheeseburger on one day, but animal fat on the whole makes me queasy these days.

Dairy is chock full of animal fat though, but I'm not giving up cheese or butter. Meat really isn't the problem, giving up dairy is.

bigsleep, Jul 17 2016


       Sp. "filius satanae"
Spacecoyote, Jul 17 2016

       It's amazing how unsuccessful artificial meats are. It's like our ancestors who ate the wild tofu burgers didn't get enough protein and died out but the ones who ate the free roaming chicken tacos lived to reproduce and pass on their dislike for substitutes.
Voice, Jul 17 2016

       It's okay to replace meat with meat substitute but I and many other people I know took the approach of completely changing the diet and not eating things which were similar to, say, meat and two veg, which I've found works a lot better although it can be more labour-intensive and/or time-consuming. Even so, [+].   

       You could also invent a pastry which baked into a hard, ceramic-like form in the oven - Fimo pastry, or form it into a ball and invent a sport with it around which a corrupt international organisation could develop - Fifa pastry.
nineteenthly, Jul 17 2016

       I'm sort of with [19thly], at least as regards this idea. I can almost imagine being a vegetarian*, but I think I'd prefer vegetables that tasted like good vegetables, rather than vegetables that tasted not quite like meat.   

       On the other hand (a) I'm not a vegetarian and (b) if I became one, it would be because I had stopped enjoying the taste of meat.   

       (*apart from bacon, pork crackling, crispy duck, foie gras and black pudding, obviously. And sashimi, but that's almost a vegetable. Oh, and dense, salty Italian salamis. And baked ox marrow, but that's only a leftover so it doesn't count.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 17 2016

       Welcome to the club, [bigsleep], the thought of eating anything that was once attached to a "face", makes me want to heave. I, however, am good with all the seeds, beans and nuts, and such, (cheese), that one can consume to sate the protein need.   

       Not a fan of any of the fake meats, though, maybe yours would be better?
blissmiss, Jul 17 2016

       //It's okay to replace meat with meat substitute but I and many other people I know took the approach of completely changing the diet and not eating things which were similar to, say, meat and two veg//   

       The first months took that approach, but one of us can't eat a lot of carbs, so bread, potatoes, rice etc etc have to be minimised. Annoying lentils are 50% carbs along with many other veggie staples. Packaged Seitan can be as low as 5% carbs which is excellent, plus it has a different texture ranging from mushroom to beef depending on how you cook it.   

       //Not a fan of any of the fake meats//   

       I'm not a fan of fake meats either, especially when they are priced *as* meat. So the current plan is to source a bulk buy of vital wheat gluten and make our own seitan. Could be as low a £1 for 300g.
bigsleep, Jul 17 2016

       //It's amazing how unsuccessful artificial meats are.//   

       I take it you don't like Quorn?   

       I've been vegetarian for a while, and a some years back I cooked a meal of rice, peas and quorn pieces for the family (my parents and brothers - all omnivores). Not realising this, one of my brothers was shocked to see me eating it, until I reasured him that it definitely wasn't meat. If I remember correctly the packaging had to be shown.
He's rather environmentally concious now and I think eats it quite often.

       I'm in a minority I guess, but I'd prefer Quorn to be less meat-like. Quorn fillets, for example, could be more easily cooked if they were more uniform in shape.
Loris, Jul 18 2016

       //You don't like Quorn ?// Wasn't that the lizard creature on Star Trek ? I'm afraid off-Earth meat is still meat.
FlyingToaster, Jul 18 2016

       Big Macs make me queasy regardless. Now a good burger, on the other hand, makes me hungry. Witness one 5 Guys burger, for instance, served with BBQ sauce, fried onion, L, T, cheese, mayo, and such. Damn, now I'm hungry and it's only 10:00 am.
RayfordSteele, Jul 18 2016

       Update [-]   

       Seitan is the work of the devil. It's really disgusting stuff.   

       I've had many attempts at making low carb veggie loaves or veggie burgers, but all results have been like pieces of carrot sticking out of chewing gum. This is probably why its very difficult to find vital wheat gluten for sale.   

       Textured vegetable protein is a bit better if you like eating tiny watery sponges. Which I don't.   

       Lentils on the other hand are excellent. Just with a little tomoto paste they make an excellent toast topper.
bigsleep, Sep 21 2016

       Tomoto paste? Is that an Italian scooter gasket sealant ?
normzone, Sep 21 2016

       Also works for Bughetti gaskets, but wear a pininfarina because the compound when applied hot can splash and cause burns.
bigsleep, Sep 21 2016


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