Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Recalculations place it at 0.4999.

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Fractal Shredder

Shreds paper, with a more complex pattern that can be ascertained from any individual shreddings.
  (+20, -1)(+20, -1)
(+20, -1)
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A sheet of paper is fed into the horizontal conveyor belt opening of the unit. The paper goes along a bit and stops. The shredder goes 'per-zap' and the paper is now a thousand little bits of confetti, each a completely different size and shape to any other.

The shredder works by setting up a fractal helix grid - a single path that follows a fractal formula, starting in the centre and winding outwards. Then it sets up a few more, all different, and all not quite centred. These grids are made of the same kind of paths that forms just before lightning runs along them when lightning strikes.

These successive grids are lowered to the level of the paper, and superimposed almost simultaneously at the paper level, and at that point, energised with an astoundingly high-tension flash of artificial lightning (AHT). A slight breeze, formed from the ozone of the discharge, is funnelled using laminar flow, so that the confetti blows into a duct.

Ian Tindale, Jan 13 2005


       Doesn't this all seem a little over-complicated for a simple shredder?
DaveW-H, Jan 13 2005

       bit chaotic but I like it.
po, Jan 13 2005

       I've got a fractal shredder in my fireplace.
hippo, Jan 13 2005

       i think we've seen the birth of a confetti maker rather than a shredder (since nothing is actually being shredded as such)...
DaveW-H, Jan 13 2005

       per-zap! [+]
contracts, Jan 13 2005

Machiavelli, Jan 13 2005

       per-zap! per-raging-office-inferno! Needs a way to counter AHT induced fire-starting mishaps.
zen_tom, Jan 13 2005

       I'd like a salad shooter version with which to create cool, intricate garnishes to decorate plates at the restaurant.
jaksplat, Jan 13 2005

       Bun, just for addressing the problem of plebian, boring, homogenous paper shredders.   

       The artificial lightning would have the added benefit of carmelizing the edges of items fed thru (for example, parsnip slices).   

       This would also be a good way of creating very difficult puzzles.
bungston, Jan 13 2005

       Mmmm! Curly caramelised parsnip slices!.
Great idea for the them that *know* that people are out to get them (did I say paranoi...oops!). +
gnomethang, Jan 13 2005

       And for the ultimate paranoid, you can ship it with a live butterfly in a nice cage and insist that it's wings beating would seed the fractal program just to be sure.
sophocles, Feb 08 2005

       + wow, so creative!
xandram, Jan 17 2013


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