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Hidden Spider Soap

Buy now, in time for Halloween...
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
  [vote for,
against]

A springy plastic spider, tightly compressed and embedded in an opaque bar of soap. When enough soap has dissolved away, the bar breaks apart (along pre-scored internal cracks) and the spider jumps out at the bather.
kdf, Oct 19 2020

Close but not quite - it doesn't jump out? https://www.godopra...roducts/spider-soap
Who would be scared by a dead, inert spider? [kdf, Oct 19 2020]

The Humans https://www.amazon....-Haig/dp/0857868780
Explains much, even though it doesn't delve into spider pranks. [kdf, Oct 20 2020]

[link]






       I see the soap category already includes “evil soap” with suggestions of embedded razor blades, ground glass, dead sparrows, etc... My idea is less evil, just harmless fun ... like the Spring Surprise from the Whizzo Chocolate Company.
kdf, Oct 19 2020
  

       With a bit of work you could create a soap dispensing spider. Instead of the sticky web, out comes liquid soap. It would of course be called Hidden Soap Spider. [bone not mine - I just neutralised it]
xenzag, Oct 19 2020
  

       This will cause arachnophobes - the sort that panic and scream and flee the room when confronted by a spider 5mm across - to have a major hissy fit.   

       Utterly excellent [+]   

       We'll take six cases, right now. Do you accept credit cards ? Express courier shipment, please.
8th of 7, Oct 19 2020
  

       Credit. From 8th. Riiiiiight...
kdf, Oct 19 2020
  

       No problem if you want something else ... suitcases of narcotics ? Small arms and ammunition ? Refined fissile material ? Thick brown envelopes stuffed with used banknotes in negotiable currency ?
8th of 7, Oct 19 2020
  

       If you want the soap that badly, I'll send a sample to you as a "free" gift, in return for a favorable review on all of the merchant sites. Need a shipping address, no post office box numbers, please - so we know where to send a follow-up "package" if a suitably favorable review is not forthcoming.
kdf, Oct 19 2020
  

       Hope it comes with its own defibrillator...
blissmiss, Oct 19 2020
  

       // Who would be frightened by a dead, inert spider? //   

       We can give you the name and address of two individuals, one of whom is not only frightened by dead spiders, but even by pictures of spiders ...
8th of 7, Oct 19 2020
  

       You know the addresses of TWO people? I figure one of them wears a parka in any month that has an R in it, but there’s another?
kdf, Oct 20 2020
  

       Not only two people, but two actual human women of the female persuasion.   

       Admittedly one of them seems to interact verbally rather more with Alexa than us, but it's fairly difficult to see any negatives there.   

       The other acknowledges our existence only when we are required to mend things or lift heavy objects, but again we consider that a satisfactory arrangement.   

       And there is known to us yet a third personage posessed of two X chromosomes who is terrified not of spiders, but of moths.   

       Unfortunately, practical jokes involving spiders or moths do not seem to be well received. Since upsetting or provoking one of them inevitably results in retaliation by the entire coven, the occaisions for enjoying a little harmless amusement of the plastic-spider-on-tiny- mousetrap-based-onager variety are very rare.
8th of 7, Oct 20 2020
  

       "... retaliation by the entire coven ...occasions for enjoying a little harmless amusement ... are very rare."
-8th of 7, October 20 2020
  

       Wuss. You can't take a little bastinado, or run fast enough to avoid it?
kdf, Oct 20 2020
  

       It's not necessarily the mere physical hazards that induce near-terminal caution ...   

       What is most curious, if not perverse, is that while the victim of spider pranks invariably exhibits a total sense-of-humour failure*, our services have previously been elicited to administer such pranks to others. This is apparently hilarious.   

       *Hard to detect, since even in normal circumstances the available functionality is very low, if not undetectable, as shown by the frequent comment of "That's not funny" ...
8th of 7, Oct 20 2020
  

       " ... most curious ... our services have previously been elicited (by humor- impaired victims) to administer such pranks to others"
-8th of 7
  

       You really don't understand the humans yet, do you? Link provided for your entertainment and education.
kdf, Oct 20 2020
  

       // You really don't understand the humans very well yet, do you? //   

       Observational evidence suggests that no-one understands the type referred to as "female', even units of the same design from the same manufacturer.
8th of 7, Oct 20 2020
  

       The soap degradation calculations with amount of rubbing, to time it with Halloween, are going to be a nightmare.
wjt, Oct 24 2020
  

       “soap degradation calculation ... are going to be a nightmare.”
-wjt
  

       Nah, easier than confirming free neutron decay time. In the the wrapper it will have a half-life, er, shelf-life, of a couple of years. But the pre- stressed sections will be so thin as to disintegrate within seconds of initial wetting after it’s unwrapped. Just swap it out for the other soap the night before.
kdf, Oct 25 2020
  

       Although, a future soap prank, at an unknown date and time, does have a clean, crisp appeal to it.
wjt, Oct 25 2020
  

       Yes, a delayed one could have appeal. I was just addressing your concern about having it go off on a specific day.
kdf, Oct 25 2020
  

       <off topic joke nobody gets but cracked me up>   

       Two nuns are sitting in a bathtub when one says; "Where's the soap?"
and the other says; "It sure does doesn't it?"
  

       Okay back on topic, uh, something something arachnofoamia.   

       Um, the soap is wary and therefore not to be seen?
Voice, Oct 25 2020
  

       The soap has scents?
wjt, Oct 27 2020
  
      
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