Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Household Distribution Network

A physical delivery network for stuff you've ordered online.
  (+13, -2)(+13, -2)
(+13, -2)
  [vote for,

Almost gone are the days of the postman and the milkman, now that you can send emails to each other until the cows come home.

However, just because you can order online doesn't mean they can deliver online (unless your purchase is software- based). The delivery process to homes is thwarted by the fact that people aren't home when the van turns up. On the other hand, we habitually have chemicals delivered to us by a direct distribution framework. And not only delivered - related products are removed from our households by similar means, too.

It would be sensible to enwiden the pipes that deliver to households to enable small airships to float within, just above water level, suspending parcels for delivery within the water.

On second thoughts, it would be more sensible to, within these widened pipes, feature small submarines, holding parcels aloft out of the water's reach.

These submarines could be programmed to route to individual premises via the most efficient algorithm possible (ie, generally avoiding going via unnecessary countries) so that as soon as you've ordered something, within a day or so, it'll appear docked and harboured within a small hatch near the outside wall of the house, by the door.

Interstitial submarines would kill rats and process them for fuel, as rats quite readily convert into energy. In-flight refuelling techniques from the rat conversion subs would ensure that delivery submarines could sustain long journeys with ease.

Ian Tindale, Apr 23 2007

Not quite the exact opposite of this idea High-volume_20secur..._20sewage_20network
[hippo, Apr 23 2007]

Pigs unlimited http://www.pigsunli...PT_MasterCategory=y
Pipe pigs could be used for this idea, or at least halfway into it before the LSD kicked in. [bungston, Apr 23 2007]


       Whimsical, wildly impractical, elegantly executed. Perfect!(+)
Galbinus_Caeli, Apr 23 2007

       [G_C] said it all ! Bun !
batou, Apr 23 2007

bungston, Apr 23 2007

       //Enwidenmentation// sounds like something my brother would say...
theleopard, Apr 23 2007

       Please make these pipes transparent and have frequent above-ground sections.
phundug, Apr 23 2007

       //Please make these pipes transparent and have frequent above-ground sections.//   

       So we can document our neighbor's twice weekly order from Bubba's Porn 'n Liquor?
Galbinus_Caeli, Apr 23 2007

moomintroll, Apr 23 2007

       If your order takes a wrong turn at Albuquerque, the next one ships free.
reensure, Apr 24 2007

       I read this, nodding as the prose continued, thinking "Hmm. Where's this going?". Then the airships appeared and I knew that everything was gonna be *alright*...
Jinbish, Apr 24 2007

       UPS had better change their corporate colours.
zen_tom, Apr 24 2007

       [reensure] Heh.   

       I'm sure I'd be far too tempted to just sink the spam carrying submarines.
hidden truths, Apr 24 2007

       I'm all for this, but I'll need to see some rat-to-energy conversion figures.
normzone, Apr 24 2007

       The man is a lunatic.
Fantastic idea.
gnomethang, Apr 24 2007

       Who’s got the figures for rat-to-energy conversion? Someone had them just now.
Ian Tindale, Jan 31 2018


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