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The canal network used to be used for freight, cargoing horses about
the place all the time. Any time a horse was needed somewhere, it
would be delivered by canal, pushed along by a barge. It took ages,
usually about 58 minutes, followed by the weather, but it was worth
This idea is to
revive the whole thing by inventing a new thing.
Trams work by having rails dug into the bottom surface of the
atmosphere. Airships work because theyre cheap and slow. Why not
dig tram lines into the bottom of our canals? That way, a vehicle like
a tram, but works like a boat, could be floated down the canals like
an airship (for cheapness).
Everything would be good.
||If air is the new water and underwater is the new tow-path, then
you've got a horse-equivalent ploughing through the water with
much splashing and vaulting over lock-gates like a terrifying
mecha-crab, and a violently jerking tether endangering birds, low-
flying aircraft and small children with kites.
||Im thinking electromagnetic railgun propulsion, of course,
with a back up Trebuchet in case of power failure.
||The airship part of the drive would use perfectly safe
hydrogen. The horse driving part would simply use a rope
to push a horse along. The tram would use electricity to
perambulate along the tramlines at the bottom of the
canal, and the boaty bit would provide bouyancy for
making everything a lot more efficient and frictionlessy.
||" the boaty bit would provide bouyancy for making everything a lot more efficient and frictionlessy "
||Could we hold an online contest to name it ?
||Yes, but as is traditional, the result will be decided before the competition ever opens, by a secret committee of Masons, Jesuits, Illuminati, Knights Templar and professional whelk-sexers, chaired by the Cigarette Smoking Man.
||Meetings every Thursday in the Church Hall, admission free but a donation towards the tea or coffee is appreciated. Hooded cloaks should be worn at all times. Please do not park in the vicarage driveway as being attacked with a machete by a naked, screaming cleric painted with woad and with dredlocks soaked in cockerel's blood often offends. To be admitted, knock four times, and be ready to give the Secret Password* when asked.