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Hybrid Horse-drawn Hovercraft

Divide the energy requirements.
  (+15, -3)(+15, -3)
(+15, -3)
  [vote for,

Use powered hovercraft technology to lift a platform, presenting an apparently frictionless traction surface.

Harness a couple of horses to it, to provide the forward motion.

The horses will only need to put in the energy required to pull the load, but the apparent laden weight is false.

The hovercraft engine only needs to achieve friction-free state, and not supply any additional forward motion energy.

Not sure where to put all the eels, though.

Ian Tindale, Jul 18 2008

Manure spreading and its hazards http://www.stupidvi..._Spreader_Disaster/
[Klaatu, Jul 19 2008]

Hybrid horses, but why? http://www.messybea.../hybrid-equines.htm
[daseva, Jul 19 2008]

Hybrid Ass-drawn Ground-level Airship Hybrid Ass-drawn Ground-level Airship
A load of asses. [zen_tom, Jul 21 2008]

Chariots Of Water Chariots_20Of_20Water
[theircompetitor, Jul 23 2008]

Hybrid Horse-drawn Hovercraft http://s68.photobuc...rent=haulingass.jpg
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 25 2008]

Useful Phrases From Around the World http://www.omniglot...ases/hovercraft.htm
En Francais: Mon aéroglisseur est plein d'anguilles. [zen_tom, Aug 05 2008]


       I can tick the box labelled "Hovercraft", so i can tick the box labelled "for".   

       One of those hover trollies would work well.
nineteenthly, Jul 18 2008

       How do you stop the horses getting freaked by the scream of the gas turbines?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 18 2008

       Training and hearing protection.
normzone, Jul 18 2008

       Only hire deaf horses.
8th of 7, Jul 18 2008

       No. Give the horses skates which slot into rails, then turn on the hovercraft. As they flee in terror, they pull it at a heck of a rate, then they go deaf and you replace them.   

       It's OK so long as it frightens the horses.
nineteenthly, Jul 18 2008

       Horses do one thing well, and often. They defecate. As the hovercraft slides gently over the fresh piles of steaming dung, I want to be waiting (at a safe distance), camera in hand to take pictures of the spray of manure onto bystanders. Bun!
Klaatu, Jul 19 2008

       If electromagnetic repulsion is used to power the hovercraft, will the horses have to remain shoeless?
jurist, Jul 19 2008

       You might as well employ the other horse to replace the gas turbines to drive the lifting fans, and the other horse would drag the hovercraft along. See to it that the horse dragging the platform contributes to the lifting force by angling the harness cable upward and capturing the incoming wind by the aid of louvers and wings attached to the delta-shaped lifting body. Just imagine, man has already created a human-powered plane... How much more with horses, having powerful muscles built around their rigid skeletal structures!
rotary, Jul 19 2008

       I don't understand, why not just use regular horses? <linky>
daseva, Jul 19 2008

       Why not use animals that hover naturally? I'm thinking hoverflies, buzzards or hoverducks, or maybe slugs or flatworms.
nineteenthly, Jul 19 2008

       [Klaatu] In fact, don't hovercrafts have a convenient fan which the horse dung could be made to impact upon?
hippo, Jul 20 2008

       <Inevitable wisecrack>   

       So this is a vehicle which only works when the shit hits the fan ?   

       </Inevitable wisecrack>
8th of 7, Jul 20 2008

       I suspect that 99% of the energy consumed by a hovercraft is devoted to lift, with only a diminuscule fraction needed for forward thrust. Alas, therefore, I find myself unable to bun this idea, at least until the eel issue is resolved.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 20 2008

       Maybe the eels could be harnessed and set to work turning wheels to operate the fan. That way it would be a horse-eel hybrid hovercraft.
nineteenthly, Jul 20 2008

       Those would be electric fans, and electric eels, of course.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 20 2008

       Ooh yes! Get some electric eels, annoy them and harness the resulting electric current! Genius!
nineteenthly, Jul 20 2008

       Yes, but who is to make the eel harnesses ? It's a dying craft; you can't get the wood, you know.
8th of 7, Jul 20 2008

       F is still equal to MA, even with hovercrafts - for each horse going forwards, you'll need another horse, mounted on the opposite side to provide braking power. The same goes for steering and lateral corrections (such as when pulling along a road with a camber)   

       Counter to the adage of not putting the hovercraft before the horse, 8 outward-facing horses in an octagonal arrangement around the load should do the trick - The configuration would ensure that at least 3 horses would be both before and after the hovercraft at all times, with 2 remaining perpendicular to the direction of travel - which, I feel is much more suitable adage material.
zen_tom, Jul 20 2008

       //It's a dying craft//   

       NO...O! Hovercraft must be immortal.   

       [zen_tom], your description makes me think of an airship tethered to eight asses, but then who'd have an idea like that?
nineteenthly, Jul 20 2008

       //or each horse going forwards, you'll need another horse, mounted on the opposite side to provide braking power//   

       For braking power why not just use a fan providing one horse power of thrust for each horse? Or would that just defeat the purpose?
xxobot, Jul 24 2008

       //For braking power why not just use a fan providing one horse power of thrust for each horse?// At what point was it mentioned that the horses would be released? After collapsing exhausted, the hovercraft simply goes over them, then pulls them along. When the horses have regained their energy, they're so frightened by the sound of the fans that they start to pull madly the other way - your opposite reaction - eventually bringing the craft to a complete halt, when you turn off the fans and the horses relax. For shorter journeys, use horses that have less energy to begin with.   

       Eels are only required for phrasebook compliance - might be useful in Hungary though.
PeterSilly, Aug 01 2008

       You could brake the hovercraft by providing the horses with earplugs which could be lifted off with a series of levers. Once they heard it, they'd all attempt to flee in complementary directions, the forces they exert on the hovercraft would be balanced and it would stop moving. Much.
nineteenthly, Aug 01 2008

       How about a healthy dose of thought-provocation: a horse hovering the ground by four pedals powering the wheels of your vehicle. Sounds great! Isn't it?
rotary, Aug 01 2008

       I think a horse inside it would make it heavier and harder to lift, so you'd need a bigger horse to do it and so on forever, so it wouldn't work.
nineteenthly, Aug 01 2008

       I do mean a horse set to pedal the cranks that power the wheels forward. With such set-up, the horseshoe is free from the ground trodden by the wheels.
rotary, Aug 01 2008

       My favourite German word at the moment is Luftkissenfahrzeug (roughly: air-cushion-driving-thing) much better than hovercraft (even if it is geplagt mit Aalen)
zen_tom, Aug 05 2008

       In terms of words for hovercraft, I think Lutakujababot is my favourite.   

       In fact, I think it's my new favourite word, menstruation.
theleopard, Aug 05 2008

       I still favour 'spigot'.
Ian Tindale, Aug 05 2008

       Is that like a flange?
theleopard, Aug 05 2008

       It's a section of pipe that fits into another section of pipe, usually to adapt different diameters, or fitments. Alternatively, it's a fitment that fits into a hole in a keg, for example, that allows attachment of a pipe to the spigot.
Ian Tindale, Aug 05 2008

       Mr. Spigot, I believe?   

       Yes, Spigot by name, Spigot by nature. (keeps hopping)   

       Yes...if you'd like to remain motionless for a moment, Mr. Spigot. Please be stood. Now, Mr. Spigot you are, I believe, auditioning for the part of Tarzan?   


       Now, Mr. Spigot, I couldn't help noticing almost at once that you are a one-legged person...
wagster, Aug 05 2008


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