Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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National Parents

Everyone can be a part of an atomic family
  (+3, -7)
(+3, -7)
  [vote for,

There are a lot of issues today with kids running around with nobody to look up to. Instead they go feral, killing and looting on the streets.

I'd like to propose a National Parent government agency. The National Parent agency would create blended mixed parents: This would best be done, not with blenders this time around, but by developing a CG studio to support a fully blended parent representating each skull shape, body type, skin color, and hair style. There would be a male version, and a female version. National Mom and National Dad. They wouldn't be fashionable, because that changes too quickly; they would wear working gear, because they are always on the go.

Young children don't really care what their parents look like, so this works best for younger children, not sassy 5 year olds. It will also take a couple generations to fully adapt the populace.

This would go hand-in-hand with the government's gradual erosion of the need of family structures due to widespread social benefits -- why have a Nanny State when you can have a Atomic Family State? Make the Nanny a part of the family -- make her your Mom!

A regular TV show broadcast by the National Parents agency would show your National Parents out saving the world; protecting the environment, feeding the poor. They are too busy to live with their children, but they can video tape themselves (is that dated?) having a one-sided conversation with their National Children, and revealing all the time-honored wisdom, commonsense, and stereotypes true families pass down to survive.

Websites can be set up to let the children talk to their parents: they can chat real-time to their National Parents as well.

Their National Parents can send close friends over to take the children on walks, to the zoo, to see the ocean. These close friends appear and dissapear throughout the child's life; they are simple full-time employees of the Agency.

An intense emphasis on family values can help replace religion, and can bind a nation's youth together, without seeming too nationalistic.

At the age of adulthood (18, or for some countries 32), a ceremony is held where the child is brought together with other children for a Day of Freedom; here they take flight from the nest. Their National Parents are not going away; but they are taking care of their other children now. Chats now much more limited, and instead of their parents friends showing up, they get cards and letters and invitations to social gatherings.

National Parents never age, they never grow old. They gradually morph to suit the racial makeup of the country, but never dramatically.

No child is forced to watch or spend time with his National Parents, but they are always there for them, always willing to give a helping hand, perhaps small money loans, advice about schooling, romantic advice, technical biological advice.

It's simply not fair for children to grow up as children of the State, and yet have no parents of State.

mylodon, Dec 11 2007

Mentors fill a void in Oakland boy's lives http://www.sfgate.c...12/10/MNG8SELP8.DTL
[mylodon, Dec 11 2007]

Even elephants need parents http://www.elephant...ientist_2_16_06.htm
[mylodon, Dec 11 2007]

The Diamond Age or, A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer http://en.wikipedia...iki/The_Diamond_Age
Reminded me of this. [zen_tom, Dec 11 2007]

Merriam-Webster http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/parlous
"Full of danger or risk" [angel, Dec 11 2007]


       I'm guessing this is slightly-missed-the-mark satire, but I may be wrong
hippo, Dec 11 2007

       A customary fishy for any idea advocating further state interference. An extra one for trying to make it seem cuddly.
angel, Dec 11 2007

       What angel said [-]; but it wouldn't be any better if it were an ostensibly private corporation doing it.
Ned_Ludd, Dec 11 2007

       I can see this as being implemented at some point, even if just illustrations. Just wanted to describe my version how I see it happening, before it happens.   

       Removing all the tech nonsense, monarchies have bonded countries before in a parent-child relationship; this would be a modernized version of it, applied specifically to social health.   

       I don't think there will be a reversal of increasing state control of citizen social development; might as well make it as natural as possible.
mylodon, Dec 11 2007

       You honestly expect anything the state says to make more sense than anything a parent says (even with the parlous state of much current parenting)?
angel, Dec 11 2007

       I think you're all taking this idea too seriously. It's much too horrible to be serious.
wagster, Dec 11 2007

       Would their first son be our Big Brother?
hidden truths, Dec 11 2007

       I decided to be the odd man and be the first to bun it. But there should be one annotation to this- National Parents must have the right to excercise disipline towards ANY child within 100 ft. radius. Everything from scolding to spanking will be permitted.
Jscotty, Dec 11 2007

wagster, Dec 11 2007

       No national parents are not on the move, they are on tv. National Parent channel. They introduce cartoons, tell you to buy products and tell the child they love them. If the child is not good they threaten that uncle Sam will take them. If any child should love national parents more than their own we know someting is amis (sp?).
zeno, Dec 12 2007

       This would make an interesting premise for a dystopian book.
RayfordSteele, Sep 29 2017


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