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Nonhuman Resources Qualification

A war against real evil.
  [vote for,

Possibly the most significant impediment to having any fulfilling and enjoyable aspects in a life is the job interview. Job interviews are universally more hated than so-called- islamic state killing random people in random places at random times; americans running around shooting each other all the time; poverty and recession dragging people down into debt and hopelessness; ebola; dangerous weather and rising sea levels; pollution and whaling; religion poisoning people’s chances of understanding reality; cultures dragging quaint peoples backward while everyone else runs on ahead; nuclear weaponry being traded secretly; plane hijackings in the middle east; opec putting oil prices up; governments making stupid decisions; the united federated forces of the symbionese liberation army holding up banks; prison riots due to overcrowding; and bacon being labelled as evil. Yes, the job interview is clearly the most fucked-up aspect of life today in the 1970s.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter, as we’ll all lose our jobs to robots, then never find another job, then die.

For this, we’ll need a new discipline or science or, no wait, this is a business subject, so it’ll be a modern mythology. We’ll need a new modern mythology to be taught as a subject, called Nonhuman Resources.

Fortunately, almost all of the training materials for the current mythology called Human Resources should be able to be re-used with only a few minor search and replace editing actions. Probably all of the people involved could be re-used, too. Although I’m not sure we need so many lampshades these days, with LED lighting having integrated diffusers.

Ian Tindale, Dec 05 2015


       So, loosely translated into English, you're saying that there should be a new job department "Non-human Resources", whose purpose is to manage all the robots and other equipment?   

       And is this job to be filled by a person or a machine?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 05 2015

       I know! I know! I know! ( Waves hands in air until the teacher reluctantly calls on him. )   

       "And is this job to be filled by a person who likes machines, -- and would even date one." ( Looks around at the class expecting applause and gets a couple of Yawns. )   

       After class Billy Snodgrass punches him in the arm. "If I had a robot, you wouldn't do that." he thinks to himself.
popbottle, Dec 05 2015

       I think the best scenario is to let humans do it — people who are currently human resources people. Then the robots come. Then the hr people lose their jobs. Then they never ever find another job in their lifetime. Then they die.   

       Yes, that’s easily the best scenario.
Ian Tindale, Dec 05 2015

       Yes, [Ian], indeed it is. Your prescience does you great credit.
8th of 7, Dec 05 2015

       The odd thing is that whereas the old Personnel staff were generally lacking in personality, the new Human Resources staff lack both humanity and resourcefulness.   

       I'm considering appointing someone as Head of Personnel to see if the trend holds up.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 05 2015

       That's the quota system for minorities ... the welsh have to be put somewhere.
8th of 7, Dec 05 2015

       [Max] - would you consider Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington to be not fully qualified?
lurch, Dec 05 2015

MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 05 2015

       Apparently Ian's trying to land a job?
RayfordSteele, Dec 06 2015


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