Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Quis custodiet the custard?

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Off-the-shelf retirement memories

Fake histories for happy retirements
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

"Remember when you were an astronaut dad ? Look here you are posing after splashdown in the Washington Post."

Each parcel of memories contains a small book detailing the extraordinary life your relative had, plus photographs, artificial newspaper cuttings, screenshots and keepsakes mounted into an album. When ordering, you upload real photographs and history so that your chosen 'precious memories' are woven together in the book and album.

Don't know anyone who is going to need better retirement memories ? Buy some retirement memories for yourself so you can start making outrageous claims.

Dad: "And this is me getting the Nobel prize for Physics, of course I gave the credit to my partner, but I still got the money and photo-op".
Son: "Give it a rest dad."
Dad: "Look. That's me right there next to the Swedish Doom Goblin, what's her name ? Oh yeah, Greta Thunberg."
Son: "Let me see that.! It's a fake!"
Dad: "Whatever son. Tell yourself whatever sits right with you, but it happened."

Our researchers and technical staff offer nothing but the most plausible historical contexts and expert photoshopping. Literally decades of potential family arguments or if you buy for another relative, loads of great memories to be shared as their brain fades away.

bigsleep, May 25 2021

Dear Doom Goblin's handlers: How dare you! https://www.scienti...than-nuclear-waste/
[doctorremulac3, May 26 2021]

https://www.electri...ntain.co.uk/History [hippo, May 27 2021]

Tesla Solar Roof - review https://www.solarre...gles-match-the-hype
Cut to the chase: "It really only makes sense to install the Tesla solar roof if you really want to have the Tesla product or you’re really in love with the solar roof aesthetic. Otherwise, it just doesn’t pan out financially. " [a1, May 27 2021]

Scientists develop pioneering new spray-on solar cells https://www.sheffie...olar-cells-1.392919
University of Sheffield, 2014 [a1, May 27 2021]

Mementos from my lives (un)lived https://www.nature..../d41586-021-01433-w
Short story, science fiction [a1, Jun 03 2021, last modified Jun 04 2021]


       [MFD] not an original idea. I invented this back in the 70s! I set up a company which sold millions of these, and made a fortune. I sold out to Zuckerberg and he used it as the inspiration and basis of Facebook. Hang on and I'll dig out links to the BBC news documentary about it.
pocmloc, May 25 2021

       Son giving up: "Well I guess you did invent the internet as well dad"
bigsleep, May 25 2021

       Grandpa has enough problems without being lied to by his children.
sninctown, May 25 2021

       In order to keep their dementia-stricken and frail grandmother eating, my wife and her cousins would keep piling food onto her plate whenever she wasn't looking. She was never the wiser.
RayfordSteele, May 25 2021

       [+] for "Swedish Doom Goblin" (much as I agree with her)
FlyingToaster, May 25 2021

       gaslighting for a better world [+]
Voice, May 26 2021

       //[+] for "Swedish Doom Goblin"//   

       [+] That's a LOL, I'll second that bun.   

       As far as agreeing with a 5 year old world leader (or whatever her age is) I'll have to hear her view on nuclear power. If she's for it I'll say "Good for you hon. Get out there and spread the word. Tell the anti nuke folks "How dare you!"" If she's against it, I'll know she's just an innocent shill for the globalist power mongers that want to use every crisis to tighten their grip on absolutely everything. I'd still say "Good for you hon for caring, but let's keep studying ways to solve the problem."
doctorremulac3, May 26 2021

       //Swedish Doom Goblin//... //her view on nuclear power.//   

       Her handler's views on nuclear power. I know shouty irritatingly moral children, but they don't just end up in the UN. There's a backstory in there that I'm nearly motivated to look into.
bs0u0155, May 26 2021

       Looked it up, she's been instructed to be anti nuclear power. No money and power to be transferred using old, proven technology.   

       Might want to tell her how much radiactive waste gets dumped into the environment by burning coal.   

       I think risk/reward consideration is kind of out of vogue these days. None of the cool kids are doing it.
doctorremulac3, May 26 2021

       You live out that way. What’s your thoughts on the California wind farm proposal?
RayfordSteele, May 26 2021

       Great if it's actually going to work.   

       My criticism of what we've done so far is whenever I've driven across Altimont Pass, where one of our biggest wind farms is, half the windmills aren't turning. Now that's a management issue, not a technology issue, but if we're going to spend a lot of money on these things, let's turn them on at least. But hey, wind and solar is great. Nothing beats hydro though, which people fight as well.   

       Never understood why we didn't turn a big chunk of desert outside of LA into a peak A/C load solar farm. Don't worry about storage, just have it be there on the sunniest days, which are the hottest days, to feed that power peak when the whole city has their air conditioners on. Guess the numbers just don't work. I know we had a massive solar panel plant with lots of government funding years back called "Solyndra", then somebody found out China makes solar panels cheaper than we can. It's a Tesla factory now.   

       I know we had a big solar farm taken apart several years ago, not sure why. The technology's sound.
doctorremulac3, May 26 2021

       // Never understood why we didn't turn a big chunk of desert outside of LA into a peak A/C load solar farm.//   

       If I'm not mistaken that's more misanthropes in environmentalist robes. They don't want a solution to global warming, they want things to whine about. In the case of the desert it was protecting the desert ecology, as if we don't have many, many square miles of desert ecology to spare and as if climate destabilization isn't worse.
Voice, May 27 2021

       //just have it be there on the sunniest days//   

       I take it you already have panels on your roof, [dr3]? If not, get some, and be part of the solution, instead of waiting for the government to get it right. In the state where [AusCan] and I live, people's rooftops alone now generate more power (about 1.1 GW), at peak, than the largest power station* - that's not counting solar farms, wind farms, batteries, etc. - that's just panels on rooftops. On a nice day in spring or autumn**, the entire consumption of the state is only about 2.4 GW, so pretty soon*** half of that (at lunchtime) will be from rooftops. California's weather is quite similar to ours, so ...   

       JFDI, [dr3], JFDI. And tell your friends. That'll be something real you can tell your grandchildren.   

       *It's been sorta funny watching the planners at the local utility consistently underestimate, year after year, the uptake of rooftop solar - and now they're in a panic, because they might have to change how the network works, on which they'd been procrastinating desperately for years.   

       **In summer it gets up to about 3.6GW.   

       ***Depending on whose numbers you believe, somewhere between one sixth and one third of all dwellings now have solar panels. Soon it's going to be eccentric not to have them.
pertinax, May 27 2021

       Here, most houses have tiled roofs. So what's needed is cheap solar panels which directly replace roof tiles in construction, and 'daisy-chain' together so you can draw power from one place from the whole grid of roof tiles. I'm sure I've seen a proposal for this somewhere.

One of the problems with solar energy is that you only get energy when the sun is shining, unless you have a lot of batteries, and surges of energy demand are hard to accommodate, unless you have something like "Electric Mountain" (see link) which can go from 0 to 1,320 MW in 12 seconds.
hippo, May 27 2021

       //Soon it's going to be eccentric not to have them//   

       Solar PV only makes sense if it generates more energy than it consumes over its lifetime. At the moment, its heavily levered by the price of cheap coal to make everything from refined silicon, the management electronics, the storage batteries and even the van the installation engineer comes around in. I bet if you make a factory to do all that it could never be powered by solar PV.   

       It's utterly ridiculous to scrape the planet of all kinds of rare and precious metals to build mountains of batteries and other temporary electric crap when a decent nuclear plant has a fraction of the resource cost, cleaner energy, more resilience and a longer lifespan. There *are* reactor designs which are much safer than the corner cutting ones used in the past. Governments should be forced to use those safer ones - that is all.   

       If any technology needs creating its flexible energy sinks managed by grid communication signals, for example hydrogen generation ramped up when consumer load is low or other totally dynamic tariff schemes. If you can vary the load in that way, its far cheaper to design the supply. We wouldn't need mountains of batteries at any rate.   

       When cars are a decent chunk of the global economy, creating a demand for replacing all of them smacks more of big business than it does of cutting back on CO2.
bigsleep, May 27 2021

       Here is where your lead-acid batteries could make a difference.   

       In my HOA they won't allow solar panels. Not that my roof would get enough sun to make them worthwhile, but still. I pay a pretty penny for the privilege of having these people tell me what I cannot do. It's progress, or something.
RayfordSteele, May 27 2021

       I was hoping for the invention of solar roof tiles that looked great and were just the standard thing you put on all new roofs, daisy chained like hippo suggested. Elon Musk supposedly had a project going but not sure what happened to that. That's just a matter of designing a tile that can be manufactured efficiently and cheaply.   

       //If I'm not mistaken that's more misanthropes in environmentalist robes. They don't want a solution to global warming, they want things to whine about.//   

       Spot on. Problem with some movements is they don't want to achieve the goal because then the movement's over. I'm an anti groupest because I know when a group forms do to anything, it very quickly evolves into doing what's best for the group at the expense of everything else, including what the group originally set out to achieve.
doctorremulac3, May 27 2021

       // solar roof tiles .. Elon Musk supposedly had a project going //   

       See linked (unfavorable) review.
a1, May 27 2021


       What's going on with spray on solar panels? I won't even bother posting that as an idea because I'm sure extensive work's been done on it. A truck drives up to your house, they spray the first layer of photovoltiac material on it, let it dry, harden of whatever, then spray subsequent layers on, hook up the power cables and badda bing badda boom. Every roof is a custom solar panel factory.   

       Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought of this. And since I'm sure I'm not, what's the barrier to this happening? It would even add the water/weather resistance of your existing room.
doctorremulac3, May 27 2021

       // Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought of this //   

       You're not the only one who thought of this (you're welcome). But it's early days still. Perovskite spray-on PV still has a long way to go before it's widely practical. Although it's promising enough that I might invest in it long term.
a1, May 27 2021

       //Elon Musk supposedly had a project going//   

       I watched a long review program about them. Cost-wise they actually stack up against other roofing materials without regard to the solar aspect.
bigsleep, May 27 2021

       Back to the spray on thing, a1, what's the holdup? We paint things outside all the time. Solar panels are just layers of stuff, what am I missing? Obviously something or else we'd have painted half the deserts of this country with this stuff by now.   

       You know you've shown that you know too mucy when I'm asking you for info rather than just googling it myself. Used to do this with Max and 8th all the time so you should be kind of honored I guess.
doctorremulac3, May 27 2021

       I'm just a fast Googler, that's no honor. Couldn't say what the holdup is, except that it's lot of work to bring a lab concept into a real world environment. Or it could just be a conspiracy.
a1, May 27 2021

       Flat Earthers again eh? Bastards.   

       It's those chemtrails that are creating all these crazy gullible conspiracy theorists you know.
doctorremulac3, May 27 2021

       That's just what they want you to believe.
a1, May 27 2021

       Exactly, it's all those anti-conspiracy theory conspiracy theories that really get crazy. I mean the conspiracy theories about the conspiracy theories being conspiracies.   

       I mean how gullible can people be?
doctorremulac3, May 27 2021

       // how gullible can people be? //   

       Studies are ongoing.
a1, May 28 2021

       //flexible energy sinks managed by grid communication signals//   

       Those are indeed the way forward, [bigsleep] - but to create the pressure to get those built, you first need to disrupt the existing model. In the absence of courage, foresight or leadership from government, that disruption is being created by private citizens cranking up rooftop solar capacity.
pertinax, May 29 2021

       //Son giving up: "Well I guess you did invent the internet as well dad"//   

       "Not really son, the Internet has always existed. I merely discovered it."
AusCan531, May 29 2021

       They're not "fake" histories, just alternate ones from the multiverse <link> - mementos from lives unlived.
a1, Jun 03 2021


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