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Just have AI "write" it since all it has to do is remind you that you're still connected and they haven't forgotten about you, they just want to play torture music to get you to hang up and go away.
Actual melodies just meander around with no repeating patterns, would be akin to a 3 year old singing
to itself while playing with stuffed animals only with piano, flute, harp whatever.
When your business is done, go about your day without that torture music repeating in your head.
Would also have the bonus of being the first one million year long song, since you could tell the AI how long before it repeats.
Longplayer
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longplayer
a 1000-year-long piece of music which started on 31 Dec 1999. So it continued for one year of the 20th century and will finish after 999 years of the 21st century [pocmloc, Aug 13 2026]
Organ²/ASLSP
https://en.wikipedi...As_Slow_as_Possible
A live preformance on church organ which will finish after 638 years. [pocmloc, Aug 13 2026]
Click at your own risk.
https://youtu.be/9J...si=6MS8vzTnTl-MuKPg
[doctorremulac3, Aug 14 2026]
Risk? You call that risk?
https://www.youtube...watch?v=VkVB48Cj6i4
"C'mon, woman - Get on my horse." [normzone, Aug 14 2026]
This is what you'd hear only with an orchestra.
https://www.youtube.../shorts/atuo5stx8zc
[doctorremulac3, Aug 15 2026]
This only random and with a much much much lighter touch.
https://www.youtube...zZ-EO76ybVHhdjKenOs
Lots of reverb and echo as well. [doctorremulac3, Aug 15 2026]
Sometimes I have pity on AI
https://l.facebook....1hxH-OJF9EBT8atsuRg
[pashute, Aug 17 2026]
Only vaguely related ...
_22Mom_20and_20Dad_...is_20is_20Chasey_22
[normzone, Aug 17 2026]
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Sounds like torture to me. |
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So you'd rather have it repeat so it gets stuck in your head? |
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Hmmm difficult choice. I would probably just hang up. |
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Well, yea but what if you can't? There's a reason you called eh? |
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I'm surprised how few times they give you the "Prefer not to have music while holding" option. Easy to do, that's why I think it's to drive you nuts and make you hang up. This never happened: "Hello, Dewy Screwem & Howe, may I help you?" "Oh, no I was just listening to the beautiful on hold music, could you put me back on hold? It was just getting to the good part where the flutes keep doing the same thing over and over every five seconds." |
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All true but I don't see this idea as an improvement, just another variant on "incite the caller to hang up! |
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Ah, that explains it. You’re not understanding the idea. The thing that makes an ear worm is that your brain plays it back in your head. If it’s infinitely complicated in that there are no repeats or discernible patterns, your brain isn’t going to be able to copy it, that’s the whole idea. |
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Here’s another way to look at it. Although it would be music, it would register in your mind like wind chimes do and might even be more relaxing and less annoying therefore superior at getting the job of relaxing the person waiting. |
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1,000,000,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall... |
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Actually, I find the only thing that displaces an earworm is a more powerful ear worm. I imagine everything else, and in particular something that has no obvious structure such as like serialist music will have no effect (though I haven't proved this). |
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There are good earworms. I remember 'Sing if you're glad to be gay' popping up for years - it's a damn good tune, if not appropriate for me or a random audience. |
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"Continue to hold, where knights are bold.. " |
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I’m just thankful I’ve never gotten the Nyan cat meme stuck in my head. I’ll put up a link. Click it only if you dare. |
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Okay, more I think about this the more I think it's something I should look deeper into. Don't think I described it very well, the link sums it up. |
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The wind chimes are random so you're not going to get the song stuck in your head and your brain pretty quickly establishes that there's no repeating patterns. |
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So forget everything I said and just listen to the windchimes, then imagine them replaced by orchestral instruments, closest thing would be an orchestra tuning up as you walk in but beautiful, not annoying. |
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This would be background on hold music that would not torture you and would actually be pleasant. |
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That's a breakthrough, there has never been on hold music that isn't pure torture. |
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