Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Political (bike) races

Gauge candidates fitness for office, and fitness in general ...
  [vote for,

Just riffing off current events (link).

Bicycle racing seems an ideal way to test a candidate’s fitness, balance, and appreciation for environmental issues.

Bazooka or Bat'leth equipped bikes optional ...

kdf, Aug 10 2020

#TrumpCantRideABike https://twitter.com.../trumpcantrideabike
[kdf, Aug 10 2020]

Bat'leth handlebars Bat_27leth_20handlebars
Inspired by 8th. [kdf, Aug 10 2020]

Bazooka Tube Bike Bazooka_20Tube_20Bikes
Thanks, xenzag [kdf, Aug 10 2020]


       Jousting lances?
RayfordSteele, Aug 10 2020

       Jousting lances? Connecticut Yankee style?   

       Even without mortal combat I think a basic physical fitness test is a good idea for any public office. And a public, competitive event is better than just claiming from a podium how fit you are.   

       Admittedly, a single event like bicycling might not be fair to everyone. A triathlon, maybe...
kdf, Aug 10 2020

       Will there be fatalities ?   

       Please, tell us there will be fatalities ...
8th of 7, Aug 10 2020

       Fatalities? Not necessarily, but one can always hope...
kdf, Aug 10 2020

       ... or try to nobble the bikes.
8th of 7, Aug 10 2020

       "nobble the bikes"
-8th of 7, Aug 10 2020

       Nobble? From context I guess you to mean sabotage the bikes or riders somehow. In some dastardly, painful way? *REAL* bullhorn handlebars, perhaps? Or improvised Bat'leth handlebars (link)?
kdf, Aug 10 2020

       Exactly; in a literal, Dastardly-and-Muttley Double-zero Sir-Percy-Ware-Armitage cheating underhand way ...
8th of 7, Aug 10 2020


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