Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Replace Progress Bars With A Fable

That's about it. Loading bar fables. Fables instead of the loading bar
  [vote for,

Instead of looking at a loading bar or progress bar (which might not be a bar, might be a circular progress indicator of some degree of cleverness), look at a secondary payload of information. One which also conveys the aspect of starting, progressing, nearing completion, you're there.

I just want to know if the activity is at the beginning, middle, or near the end, so that I can risk manage the likelihood of diverting of my attention to do something else like putting the kettle on. If this was not possible and I had to sit there and stare at it, I don't care about precise numbers like 54%, 63%, nor do I think pretending to be interested in a partially shaded in graphic is a good way to spend a portion of my life. Tell me a story.

Loading bar fables would be a good addition to the day of most people. If fables were to tell some positive or inspirational story that might put things into perspective, acting as a sort of lengthier Oblique Strategeries, it might, nay, will, contribute more than a percentage or shade of tone moving in a direction, or not, as may be the case.

The stories might have to be cached from a fable server, or, they could be made up on the spot using quantum polkadot nanobot artificial virtual intelligent reality or something.

Ian Tindale, Mar 27 2017


       If there was some kind of glitch and the network speed dropped halfway through, the fable server would have to have to ability to 'pad' the fable - e.g. with a flashback into the back-story of one of the characters.
hippo, Mar 27 2017

       In such a circumstance it could probably failover to a different level, such as sayings, or aphorisms. So that halfway through the story it would start going on about too many cooks should get out of the kitchen, or a hap'orth of caulk saves nine, or some such.
Ian Tindale, Mar 27 2017

       You could dispense with the narrative and instead tell a story by the relative positioning of events. For example, the prosecution of the third Punic War blipping up engagement by engagement, with the conclusion of the siege of Hippo Diarrhytus being a point at which your process is finished. A body count could accompany the blippage
calum, Mar 27 2017

       I remember that episode of diarrhytus - most unpleasant
hippo, Mar 28 2017

       Your best idea Ian, very clever.
doctorremulac3, Mar 28 2017

       "Oh great... all 24 of the Canterbury Tales. See if I reinstall Windows ever again..."
RayfordSteele, Mar 28 2017

       This really thrilled me. Thanks! I have read that there are text-like episodic stories that Chinese people read on their phones when they get a spare 5 minutes. The genre has lots of zingy plot shifts in not very much text space.   

       so, there is even zingy prewritten material
beanangel, Mar 28 2017

       Downside: You start to get into the story and then it does that thing where the first half took 20 seconds and the second half suddenly speeds up and takes just 1 or 2 seconds.   

       "Wait, does she find her long lost lover or end up on the planet of the zombie pigs?"
doctorremulac3, Mar 28 2017

       // a fable server   

       With its own fable:// protocol.
tatterdemalion, Mar 28 2017

       Fable server initializing. --50%-- complete...   

       Was I the only weird one that would sit there and watch the little boxes organize themselves while the hard drive defragmenter ran?
RayfordSteele, Mar 28 2017

       The only way that this idea could accumulate more up-buns is if the fables were also haikus.
Cuit_au_Four, Mar 29 2017

       [RS] - no
lurch, Mar 29 2017

       [RS] no, I did that all the way will I started using linux
dev45, Mar 31 2017


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