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Being one of those strange people for whom sleep just seems to be an excuse for my body to start throwing itself around the place with gay abandon, I have terrible trouble with the bed linen. Invariably, when I wake up in the morning, Ive got the sheets tangled round my legs, the duvet half out of its
cover and the pillows halfway across the bedroom floor.
Applying my mind to the sheet problem Ive come up with the roller bed. Basically using the same mechanism as those roller towel thingies that you find in public lavatories and a bedsheet thats a couple of times longer than the bed.
Instead of laying the sheet over the top of the mattress and then tucking it in, you feed it into the roller mechanism at the foot of the bed and, using a hand crank and a series of rollers like on a mangle; or a button and a set of servos if you're more technologically inclined, pull the sheet under the mattress. When the end of the sheet emerges at the head end you pull it up and over the mattress, covering its length, and feed the end of the sheet back into the mechanism at the foot end again. Wind the sheet on a bit and lock the mechanism to secure your sheet in place.
Seems like a lot of effort to go to, I agree and I wouldnt have bothered with this if there wasnt an additional benefit.
Another consequence of my unconscious callisthenics is that I often wake up with my head jammed up against the headboard at some strange angle and end up with a stiff neck all day. A proximity sensor installed in the headboard could be used in conjunction with the roller bed to gently move the sheet and you back down the mattress whenever your head got too close to the end of the bed, thus saving you from having to endure those days when you spend the whole time unable to look in a particular direction due to the pain in your neck. And thats the roller bed. Ta da!
(nb: I haven't come up with anything to prevent pillow and duvet abuse yet but when I do, rest assured, you will be the first to hear about it).
slips into something more comfortable
why the feck did I say that? [po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
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||aren't muscles meant to be de-activated during REM sleep? lay off the cheese, last thing at night!
||I had this exact same idea last night. An envious croissant fine sir.
If you could actually sleep in one throwing yourself around whilst dreaming would not disarrange your "bed" in such a drastic way - it is already disarranged.
||Pillow abuse? You should be ashamed
||po, other people might be de-activated at night but that's the time when I'm apparently at my most energetic. I've always been prone to sleep walking as well. (ooh! idea!)
silverstormer, ha! I've always been good at Snap!
hippo, it's not my fault I'm bad. I was drawn this way!
||I just fell off me chair laughing,thanks DrBob