Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Apply directly to forehead.

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Safe Greeting Kit

Home based testing for greetings
  [vote for,

Many greetings involve physical contact or even the deposition of trace amounts of saliva on someones facial cheeks as is popular sur le continent. There is some research that shows one role of this is to swap small doses of pathogens to boost everyone's immune system, but the trouble is, like with taking cheap herbal remedies, the dosing isn't calibrated and could well end in a fatal load of a pathogen*.

Clearly we need to take a scientific approach to this. The Safe Greeting Kit contains several paper templates marked with faces and hands that other can safely kiss or place their hands on.

The instructions show how these templates can be swabbed and applied to lateral flow tests or use our postal PCR service.

When a negative result is revealed, you can safely apply the template to your own cheeks or hand and receive the greeting safely.

* Don't even think about the stuff that gets smeared all over young kids at school. Don't even go there. Young kids are walking petri dishes and fatal to old people. Kids should always be wearing PPE.

bigsleep, Apr 09 2021


       Why paper?   

       Could have a hat-mounted roll of cling film with integrated cutter. When someone wants to kiss you or lick your eyeballs or whatever humans or other companion animals do, you simply reach up and tug at the exposed end of the film and pull a clear sheet down in front of you. They do their slobbering and then you actuate the cutter and scrunch the cling film into a ball (making sure the slobber is all on the inside of the crumpled ball) and then present it to them as a gift souvenir of the interaction.
pocmloc, Apr 09 2021

       //Why paper?//   

       I think its because the process is simpler than using goat skin.
bigsleep, Apr 09 2021

       The goat agrees.
pertinax, Apr 09 2021

       hi. Did you go away and then come back? Just checking that you are the same [bigsleep] that used to be here.
xandram, Apr 09 2021

       //checking that you are the same [bigsleep]//   

       Almost I think. Some opinions have changed.
bigsleep, Apr 09 2021

       ok then cool. no halfbakery welcome, just welcome back.
xandram, Apr 09 2021


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