Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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Self measuring decanter

Tells you if it's half empty or half full or any point in between
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A jug or other container with a pouring spout and a handle. Strain gauges embedded in the handle where it attaches to the main body. When you lift it, it calculates the angle you're holding it and the combined weight of jug and contents. As you pour (angle changes and weight decreases) a digital display shows how much you've poured out. Units could be volume or weight.
a1, Mar 10 2021

Inspired by zen_tom's idea Jug_20with_20Angula...e_20at_20pour-point
but everything is better with MEMS [a1, Mar 10 2021]

The real peril of talking utensils https://www.youtube...watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec
they can be really really annoying [Skewed, Mar 10 2021]

[link]






       If the vessel were double-skinned, the strain gauges could be fitted between the inner and outer skins. Then the weight of the contents could be displayed in real time constantly, whether the vessel were being carried by the handle or stood on a supporting surface.
pocmloc, Mar 10 2021
  

       // double-walled // good addition. interstice could be evacuated for insulation too.
a1, Mar 10 2021
  

       So Dave's talking toaster then, but a jug.   

       The household utensil with AI has been a decidedly common trope in comic sci fi for more decades than I care to remember :)
Skewed, Mar 10 2021
  

       // talking // already decided against it for same reason red dwarf and hhgttg derided machine with personalities. insufferable.
a1, Mar 10 2021
  

       There are enough goddamned things that go beep, or try to force me to spell words in "American English, in my life already. I do not want a jug telling me what to do.   

       This shit is supposed to simplify our lives; not complicate them.
UnaBubba, Mar 13 2021
  

       If you want a simple life join the army, there's no simpler life than just doing what you're told, Oh! hang on, but you don't want to be told, well in that case I'm afraid you're doomed to a life of complication.
Skewed, Mar 14 2021
  

       I did not say I wanted a simple life, [Skewed].   

       I said I wanted to simplify my life. Big difference. I currently have the following things that beep at me, often for unfathomable reasons:   

       2x refrigerators
Washing machine
Clothes dryer
Air fryer / oven
2x Microwave ovens
2x Motor vehicles
1x Dual-SIM mobile phone
9x Computers
  

       Just being able to aggregate all of those squawking notifications onto one platform would be nice. As it stands, I get about 800 electronic notifications a day; of which maybe 10 are meaningful.   

       And I don't want to join the army. They don't take relatively unfit men awaiting knee replacement surgery, in their late 50s.
UnaBubba, Mar 15 2021
  

       Minimalism doesn't mean having nothing or as little as possible. It means having only what helps you.
Voice, Mar 15 2021
  

       i’m not a fan of digital displays but this seems to be a good idea! + As long as it doesn’t keep blinking the same error code over and over ha ha
xandram, Mar 15 2021
  

       //They don't take relatively unfit men awaiting knee replacement surgery, in their late 50s/// ageist swines! sue em!
Skewed, Mar 15 2021
  

       Thanks, xandram. it absolutely won’t beep or talk. Even “digital display” was just a nod to zen_tom’s original wish to show precisely how much has been poured out. There are better ways to do that but I wanted to stay half baked, or less.
a1, Mar 16 2021
  
      
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