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The Last Pandemic

Mankind's fight against an AI generated virus
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The year was 2030 and Klaus Schwab was still on the bestseller list with his novel "How I am better than William Gibson". It was big with elites who had taken to sequencing their own farts and using them as NFT currency. Elon Musk was still in his second term and Prohibition was in its 6th year. 'Prohibition' was the old world slang term used for a new social credit system which basically allowed you to do nothing unless you were squeaky clean of all crimes, all sins, didn't associate with ... well anyone and basically went along with all government edicts which at this stage were created by a couple of comedians left in charge of Earth.

So that was the 2030 world into which the virus to end everything was born.

The Whitehouse briefing went as follows -

Elon: "So you ignored my instruction and didn't implement protocol 734 ?"
Peter: "We thought it wasn't necessary at this stage"
Elon: "Well its too late now. The AI's have control of the sequencers and they are just going to kick out variant after variant. Advice ?"
Peter: "I'll get back to you"
Trump head in a jar: "What about bleaching the viruses with UV radiation or just nuking them ?"

Elon who had implemented a no-fly zone around Mars had a lesser personal stake in the fate of the Earth (other than being World President for the second time.)

"Trump, you might be on to something there. Many biological subsystems are very vulnerable to sunlight. Viruses, bacteria, pollen - all degrade rapidly with increasing temperature and UV exposure."

Elon's brain continues to expand with this new lateral avenue -

"Supposing we used all targetable munitions to initiate the Kessler Syndrome, wouldn't that create an outer greenhouse for the earth ? Life would be hard with a 10 degree rise in temperature, but with a consistent reflective coat, weather extremes would be a thing of the past and the dangers of viral spread in 'winters' would be minimised."

"Peter, get back to me ASAP with modelling. Cydonia Base out."

And that's how it happened. Kessler Syndrome saved the earth. Or more specifically Elon Musk did by putting so many satellites into orbit that they could easily create a 'super greenhouse' when required. He saved us all from the AI takeover he predicted a decade earlier.

bigsleep, Jun 09 2021

SpaceX SXM-8 Mission https://www.youtube...bgtDRR2F2wA&t=1478s
Nothing says state-of-the-art more than a first stage landing in the dark, the driving rain and within centimeters of a target on a boat in the middle of nowhere. [bigsleep, Jun 10 2021]


       //Trump head in a jar:// We need more detail of the Trump component. For example: will the Trump label be shown in reverse? - to match his latest fashion statement of wearing his trousers back to front of course.
xenzag, Jun 09 2021

       Would Trump's head still contain his alleged brain, or would that have already been removed and dissected for study?
whatrock, Jun 09 2021

       I know, I know. Elon and Trump have been cancelled and how dare I use them in a plot. Geez nobody has a sense of humour these days.
bigsleep, Jun 09 2021

       /* "Sounds fine," said Mrs. Bowles. "I voted last election, same as everyone, and I laid it on the line for President Noble. I think he's one of the nicest- looking men who ever became president." "Oh, but the man they ran against him!" "He wasn't much, was he? Kind of small and homely and he didn't shave too close or comb his hair very well." "What possessed the 'Outs' to run him? You just don't go running a little short man like that against a tall man. Besides -he mumbled. Half the time I couldn't hear a word he said. And the words I did hear I didn't understand!" "Fat, too, and didn't dress to hide it. No wonder the landslide was for Winston Noble. Even their names helped. Compare Winston Noble to Hubert Hoag for ten seconds and you can almost figure the results." */
sninctown, Jun 09 2021

       //nobody has a sense of humour these days// Technically that is not true, there are some people that do have a sense of humour.
pocmloc, Jun 09 2021

       ^ Shirley, it's the only thing that keeps us going. And liquor.
whatrock, Jun 09 2021

       [pocmloc] Thanks for fact checking that. You are correct.
bigsleep, Jun 09 2021

       [whatrock]; you'll need an electron microscope and atomic tweezers for that. Can you even "dissect" a single neuron?
neutrinos_shadow, Jun 10 2021

       It's painful to listen to people who have been groomed by the MSM. Trump wasn't my cup of tea either but he got so much right. The Dems. are now having to reverse course and re-enact some of Trumps policies like a tough stance on immigration. Trump banned CRT being taught in federal institutions. I can see that one re-enacted as well. He didn't want to sell arms to Saudi, but he said "Given that somebody else will do it, we might as well take the money" - honest. Obama just sold them under the table. I couldn't sleep for the first few months of Trump's presidency, but at the end I just couldn't help thinking "Well played. Well played sir". This after consuming a mix of MSM, Fox and alt. media. If you stuck to MSM you just got the demonisation part of it.   

       What is with all this demonisation and cancellation anyway ? Is there some weird divide and conquer thing going on ?
bigsleep, Jun 10 2021

       Have you considered moving these musings to 4Chan?
AusCan531, Jun 10 2021

       Have you considered that the HB can have a plurality of viewpoints ?   

       I was just responding to 3 'orange man bad' anno's.
bigsleep, Jun 10 2021

       //Geez nobody has a sense of humour these days.// Well, I think this is funny and perfect hb material, so one of the croissant crumbs is from me.
xenzag, Jun 10 2021

       I don't care for any President who operates as hallmark of his Presidency a personal vendetta against public and private individuals. Call me crazy, but that's completely out of line.
RayfordSteele, Jun 11 2021


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