Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Toilet paper maker

Grind newspaper and make toilet paper out of them
  [vote for,

If you're like me you want to support journalism by buying a newspaper subscription. If you're like me you also can't afford a sewspaper subscription. Furthermore if you're like me you do have to pay for toilet paper. And if you're like me you like to sit in idling cars. But I digress.

This device would very finely shred the bottom part of a pile of newspapers. (soy ink only) It would then soak them in water. Finally it would use very high pressure to press the pulp into decently strong toilet paper. No further processing required. You would have to throw it away into a trash can and use more (which wouldn't matter considering how much could be made for a very small marginal cost) but otherwise it would make a reasonable substitute.

Voice, Jan 08 2017

Not entirely unlike this idea... Home_20toilet_20tissue_20maker
[marked-for-deletion] redundant [hippo, Jan 09 2017]


       Why would you have to throw it into a trash can? Or use more? Why would it not be like regular loo paper (which, I suspect, is generally made from recycled pulp)?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 08 2017

       Just say it, you think so highly of today's journalism that you can't wait to wipe your ass with it. [+]
whatrock, Jan 08 2017

       You would have to throw it in a trash can because with a home appliance sized gadget it would have a much larger amount of material for the same strength.
Voice, Jan 09 2017

       I don't follow. I don't see why you couldn't make regular tissue paper, that could be flushed. If not, well, who wants a bunch of crappy paper sitting in a bin in their house?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 09 2017

       I have no idea what sort of ink the Los Angeles Times utilizes, but I do know that when dampened a certain amount of it will unhappily bleed out onto any handy body part, clothing or other nearby surface. Yet, even when fully soaked, a substantial portion of the ink will remain, resulting in a very gray, gloppy mass. What are you proposing to use as a bleaching agent in the home appliance for your pulp to avoid redistributing remnant ink onto your hindquarters, hands and clothing? And how do you keep that bleach from becoming a further irritant?
jurist, Jan 09 2017

       Why not save all this effort and, instead, have newspapers printed on soft, absorbent, perforated toilet paper?
hippo, Jan 09 2017


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