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Venison Elevation Apparatus

Deer stilts a suburban landscape preservation solution
  (+6)
(+6)
 

Do you have deer in your neighborhood?

Let's face it deer have a real problem, deer are a real problem.

Their selfish conspicuous and unrelenting consumption of evergreens must be stopped.

In my neighborhood every tall juniper has been consumed to where they look like topiary phallus.

This invention is stilts for deer, which would make it possible for deer to reach higher and consume your landscaping more evenly preventing them from sculpting every bush into a visually startling formation.

The plan if for the municipality to make these stilts available for homeowners who would take them and affix them to some of the deer that traffic their properties.

Each stilt will be comprised of a wooden shaft with a deer like hoof carved or fashioned at the bottom, a real hoof shelf and additionally two buckles on each stilt that so that the portion of the wooden shaft that extends past the real deer hoof can be buckled securely around each of the deer's legs.

The best par of this idea is that deer have a general look of sadness or boredom. This solution will furnish them with some excitement and also might open the door for deer to make friends more readily with taller animals like horses or giraffe.

Homeowners would like them more and taller animals would want to be friends with them.

vfrackis, Feb 13 2026

Only vaguely related ... https://www.reddit....st_hans_hemmert_in/
[normzone, Feb 17 2026]





       Just eat them and be done with it
pocmloc, Feb 13 2026
  

       //deer have a general look of sadness or boredom//   

       Have you thought of using the juniper berries to make gin?
pertinax, Feb 14 2026
  

       If applied in Africa it could be called Deer Ndugo.
pashute, Feb 17 2026
  

       The deluxe solution monitors the height of consumption within your garden and, when a deer leaps into your garden, automatically calibrates the remote activated ratchets in he deer stilts to ensure that their lunch is at the right altitude.
calum, Feb 18 2026
  

       The first solution they tried was to interbreed them with giraffe. But the long neck simply compounded the problem, and their short torso lengths made them too unstable, resulting in deeraffes lying sideways.
RayfordSteele, Feb 18 2026
  

       Conversely, we could breed much taller specimen evergreens with long lower trunks to raise the delectables out of reach. Alternately we could teach the yews to flail or grow thorns. Maybe easier than fitting the stilts on the venison. But..[+]
minoradjustments, Feb 19 2026
  
         


 

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