Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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more failsafe parachute

It works even when it malfunctions
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This parachute would consist of a set of very long tubes. Descent would be slowed via air friction rather than air pressure differences. No matter how it fails as long as it's flapping in the breeze the parachutist is safe.
Voice, Mar 21 2011

Packed and ready to jump. http://www.onlyweir..._Giant_Backpack.jpg
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Mar 21 2011]

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       I suspect it would work even it's still in the pack. The amount of material you'd need for a safe landing would make an effective cushion.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 21 2011
  

       What happens when the tubes turn into a big knot on your back, or a tight braid/twist? Both will decrease the total surface area exposed to the wind, and thus skin friction.
MechE, Mar 21 2011
  
      
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