Food: Cookie
Achilles Biscuit   (+42, -2)  [vote for, against]
Sing, Muse, of the biscuit of Peleus's son Achilles, the blessed biscuit that brought joy to thousands of the Achaeans.

Achilles was dipped into the river Styx by his mother Thetis in order to make him immortal, but alas, she forgot to get her divine hands wet and baby Achilles' foot was left unbaptised, thus rendering his foot his only weakness.

The Achilles Biscuit, a warrior-shaped bis coctus, is, however, intentionally dipped into chocolate in this manner. By dipping from the foot, this small section of the twice-baked confectionery is thus rendered unchocolatised, therefore facilitating genteel discussions over coffee without embarrassing chocolate- fingertip scenarios. Rapture!
-- theleopard, Aug 12 2008

Achilles v Hector
[r_kreher, Aug 15 2008]

bloody norah!
-- po, Aug 12 2008

I fear the Geeks, especially when they bear biscuits.
-- gnomethang, Aug 12 2008

Wow. + This idea is why I love the halfbakery :)
-- phundug, Aug 13 2008

[+] for chocolate biscuit idea, no matter how outre or foolish.
-- 8th of 7, Aug 13 2008

It takes the biscuit.
-- xenzag, Aug 13 2008

Fantastic - truly the best chocolate biscuit-related idea I've ever read. You could mangle your Greek myths by packaging them in a Trojan Horse-shaped container.
-- hippo, Aug 13 2008

Sweet, sweet work.
-- Jinbish, Aug 13 2008

Absolute genius, though I am not sure that those of the type who (a) have genteel conversation and (b) are embarrassed by chocolately fingers would be the sort of people who would be seen eating anything as gauche as a man-shaped biscuit. Accordingly, I humbly suggest that the chocolate-free fingertip zone approach be applied to other otherwise chocolately buscuits, not just the proposed vaguely homoerotic Animal Biscuits analogue.
-- calum, Aug 13 2008

For you Americans, "Biscuit" is the british word for "cookie."
-- Voice, Aug 13 2008

Ha! Of course, you have to make the chocolate incredibly hard so that it can't actually be bitten through, meaning that the only part of the biscuit which can be eaten is the vulnerable heel.
-- lostdog, Aug 13 2008

+ food of the Gods.
-- xandram, Aug 13 2008

Wow. It's a veritable bun flurry! Glad you all like it.

-- theleopard, Aug 13 2008

The British biscuit is designed to facilitate digestion by prompting regular chewing. Its design was commissioned by a Queen Elizabeth to provoke regularity in the troops.

British biscuits thus tend to be less sweet, and contain much more fiber, then American cookies. They are very durable, designed for lengthy sea voyages, where they are also used to stop leaks, block open doors, and chock cannon wheels.

I think they could almost be placed in a separate food category. Do the Brits have chewy chocolate-chip biscuits? Of course not, because if they did, they would have cookies.

I do agree, though, that the dry cardboard circles called biscuits used during tea consumption, when coated chocolate, are quite messy and you might as well just eat beans on toast, also commissioned by another Queen* Elizabeth to hasten the collective national gut.

* wasn't everything commissioned by the queen? I think so!
-- mylodon, Aug 13 2008

Funny you should say that - I do seem to remember a late C20th item of British army rations called the "AB" Biscuit - commonly taken to stand for "arse blocker". No royal commission was mentioned.
-- pertinax, Aug 13 2008

where do you get this information [mylodon]?

<absentmindedly bangs weevils out of biscuit onto dining room table>
-- po, Aug 13 2008

I might have paraphrased history a little there.
-- mylodon, Aug 13 2008

Splendid idea.

"From atop their mighty walls, the warrior princes of Troy looked out and, mocking the Greeks with their chocolatey lips, swore that they would not surrender those Achilles Biscuits which noble Paris had stolen from far-flung Achaean shores, not even if the siege should last ten years.

Helplessly the Greeks raged before those mighty bastions, their fury driven to fevered madness by the sounds of loud munching and the slurping of tea which came to them from beyond those impenetrable walls."
From "The Chocciad" by Homer.
-- DrBob, Aug 13 2008

you made that up!

[mylodon] fancy a cup of PG Tips and a digestive round at my place? <winks> r you as big as you boast?
-- po, Aug 13 2008

I fear the li'l bixcut might get kicked around a bit in the biscuit area by it's enemies, when they find out his weak spot, but hey it's a great idea anyway.
-- blissmiss, Aug 13 2008

hey U!
-- po, Aug 13 2008

Fiddle Styx?
-- tatterdemalion, Aug 14 2008

>>>>>..British biscuits thus tend to be less sweet, and contain much more fiber, then American cookies. They are very durable, designed for lengthy sea voyages, where they are also used to stop leaks, block open doors, and chock cannon wheels...<<<

in america, we called it hard tack, and it wasn't sweet at all. it had similar uses, including being bullet proof :)
-- copycat042, Aug 14 2008

Don't worry [bliss], when the other biscuits see what he does to the Hektor biscuit, they'll not touch him!
-- Jinbish, Aug 14 2008

[po] All of us godlike beings are large. I like to think I'm medium sized. I'll bring over a couple barrels of Achilles biscuit dough ice cream.
-- mylodon, Aug 14 2008

Hektor biscuit? What a drag.
-- theleopard, Aug 14 2008

C'est une flourage des boulanges veritable!

I especially like the additional notion of them coming in a horse-shaped biscuit tin, which may or may not be available for purchase at Argos.
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2008

Very droll. And I suppose crumbs would be best cleaned up with Ajax?
-- theleopard, Aug 14 2008

Yes, Ajax. And Vim. The mighty Vim.

I was once on holiday in the Hypotenuse Islands. Around midday each day, we were given the choice between having lunch, or smoking a cigarette, or going on a donkey ride. Pie, fag or ass. At least that's what I finked they were on about anyway.
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2008

Which did you choose?
-- mylodon, Aug 14 2008

[zen] {groan} - I once went to a Greek tailor - as I was browsing through his wares he came over. I asked him his name and he said "Euripides - Euripides, You pay for these"...
-- hippo, Aug 14 2008

I'd always heard it as "Euripides trousers, Eumenides trousers!"

+ for the idea.
-- csea, Aug 14 2008

I guess the autoboner preffers Arrowroot cookies.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 14 2008

It is ideas like this that keep me here. One of the best for sure.

You cannot deny the commercial success this product would receive, albeit within a small intellectual elite, that no capital expenditure could ever hope to return. Perfect halfbakery!

Fishboned... pure jealous-necity.
-- 4whom, Aug 14 2008

Oh come now. With theleopard's plethora of buns, and my own paucity (although my bone collection is extensive) if I can bun it you can. 4 whom does the Bakery cry to for justice?
-- Voice, Aug 15 2008

Brad Pitt called. He said you could model his ankle for $1,000,000 and 10% of the rolling gross. <link>
-- r_kreher, Aug 15 2008

random, halfbakery