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Fashion: Hat: Protection
Anti-Coronavirus coronet   (+3)  [vote for, against]
Not just for royalty

Having spotted a market opportunity based on exploiting the anxieties of an group of credulous, easily-panicked and underinformed morons (i.e most of the population) BorgCo are rushing a new product into volume production without proper safety testing, or indeed any real testing at all (other than saying "Bugger it, seems to work, it'll do"*)

It's our "Anti-Coronavirus Coronet". Resembling a Royal crown (but actually made from genuine gold-ish coloured simulated plastic-effect type material) the tips of the sticky-up bits contain tiny yet effective** atomizer nozzles fed via a thin, flexible pipe from a very quiet yet powerful battery-driven pump attached to the discreet*** 12 litre backpack tank.

Thus the wearer is constantly surrounded by an almost invisible**** cloud of high-potency biocide, ensuring an acceptable***** degree of protection from all sorts of infectious pathogens.

*Standard Operating Procedure for all consumer products.

** ish

*** "Quasimodo" costume available for a small extra charge; discounted if purchased along with the equipment.

**** Total invisibility may actually mean that the thing isn't working - the tank empty, the battery flat, or the nozzles blocked. A sophisticated biometric system indicates that a failure has occurred (the user becomes ill, and possibly dies). Please refer to the terms and conditions of sale, particularly the disclaimers. Especially the disclaimers ...

***** to the vendor.
-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2020

Piranha Solution https://en.wikipedi...ki/Piranha_solution
[bs0u0155, Mar 05 2020]

A better solution, shirley, would be for everyone to wear rubber-soled shoes and extremely powerful electrostatic generators. As long as we all agree on a polarity, any droplets produced by sneezing would simply avoid other people.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2020


That would be incredibly dangerous and ill advised. Fires would be started; pacemaker wearers would drop dead; volatile organics would be triggered into fuel-air explosions; cats would be irremovably attached to balloons ....

What an excellent idea.

<Goes to rummage in cupboard for Van de Graaf machine/>
-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2020


// Thus the wearer is constantly surrounded by an almost invisible**** cloud of high-potency biocide, ensuring an acceptable***** degree of protection from all sorts of infectious pathogens. //

Wow. That I CAN imagine.

I just think, maybe we could do as well with a tube directly from backpack to face-mask, and UV light inside the tube or backpack. I remember, in childhood they used disinfect our lungs with ionized air like that.

However, if the battery is out, we're out luck indeed. OR. We could have a radioisotope to do the job of ionizing it?
-- Mindey, Mar 04 2020


// in childhood they used disinfect our lungs with ionized air like that //

Were there (m)any survivors ... ?
-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2020


I stand the witness. Well, in my memory, there were apparatuses, with multiple 1 inch diameter tubes sticking out, with blue light, and multiple kids would go through that. What a weird thing, and it must have been somewhere just before the Soviet Union collapse, in Lithuania.
-- Mindey, Mar 04 2020


// in my memory //

Hmmmm ....

Were the "people" doing the "treatment" in sliver suits ? Did they have huge, black, pupil-less eyes and very long fingers ? Was there a huge silver disk in the sky, and a very bright light at any point ?

There are quite a few people in the USA who claim to have had very similar experiences, and they can't even spell "Litheenya", let alone claim to have been there ...
-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2020


Instead of a continuous spray of (highly flammable) pure alcohol droplets, consider a continuous spray of beer with a bit of lime juice.
-- sninctown, Mar 05 2020


<Considers a continuous spray of beer with a bit of lime juice./>

We think not; it will rapidly become unpleasanty sticky and malodorous, and the user will be misidentified as french.

We weren't considering pure alcohol either - something with chlorine or bromine, maybe some phenol derivatives, really aggressive, toxic, persistent stuff. Paradichlorobenzene is good...
-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2020


// stick to homeopathic compounds //

We did explain about the stickiness thing ... not good.

// believes anything less than overkill means you really weren't trying //

"believes" ? <Hard stare/>

We *know* that it's the only way.

// actually killing your customer base is bad for repeat business. //

It worked well for Yokosuka, for a while ...

// Much better to fill the tanks with distilled water, claiming effectiveness because it was expensively processed with* some therapeutic compounds. //

That part we like, altho the "distilled" part might affect the bottom line; the idea is to make ludicrously enormous exploitative profits for the absolute minimum of outlay and effort. Plain water from the nearest watercourse is perfectly adequate; choose a point downstream of an industrial effluent outfall and you might get some actual chemicals included for free.
-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2020


We have a special offer on Assimilation this month, are you interested ? We wish to add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Also, the existing Marketing module self-destructed recently and needs to be replaced....
-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2020


Alcohol, I've read somewhere, is capable of attacking the virus.
-- Voice, Mar 05 2020


"gold-ish", I greatly prefer "gold-like". Thank you for asking.
-- blissmiss, Mar 05 2020


Can I recommend HTP for the biocidal liquid? Shirley it would be simpler to just re-purpose some rocket packs that are bound to by lying about somewhere? I say this because even 5% H2O2 is a pretty solid disinfection agent, at least according to the CDC summary I just read. Some people have even gone as far as engaging their brain and included a touch of phosphoric acid, which dramatically enhances the reactivity of H2O2.

They could have done far better of course. 30% H2O2 and conc. H2SO4, or "Piranha solution" <link> is just great at absolutely definitely making sure no biological material remains.

//I remember, in childhood they used disinfect our lungs with ionized air like that.//

Blimey. Relatively harmless I'd imagine, the line gets crossed when increased Voltage means Ozone rather than regular old -ve ions of O2/N2.
-- bs0u0155, Mar 05 2020


Maintaining a net positive air pressure in your immediate radius could do the trick. I see a wearable motorized air pump with a filter input.
-- RayfordSteele, Mar 05 2020


For a comparatively small increase in price, we'll sell you a version made with unreactive/inert components that will allow you to use a range of biocidal agents of your choosing, although if you try ClF3 don't come running back to complain. Actually, that's not really much of a risk.

// I greatly prefer "gold-like". //

No problem. There will be a relatively small additional charge for the upgrade.
-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2020


//Piranha solution// Needs more hydrofluoric acid.
-- Voice, Mar 06 2020



random, halfbakery