Product: Mixer
Aviatic Blender   (+6, -2)  [vote for, against]
Aviatic consumption need no longer pose a problem.

Eating a plane has always been a rather arduous task, just ask Michel Lotito. Sharp bits of metal, unchewable rubber seals, and lots and lots of plastic make up what most people refer to as a largely undigestible vehicle.

Not anymore ladies and jellyspoons. My Aviatic Blender incorporates enough smashing factory processes to reduce said plane down to a deliciously rich smoothie. It smashes, it grinds, it bashes, it burns, it thoroughly does everything that planes don't like, until depositing the aviatic beverage through a small faucet at the bottom.

For a little extra zing why not add a couple of crates of lemons and mangos, you can even throw in the crates, no problem! Finally, sprinkle a coarsely ground toaster over the top and serve.
-- theleopard, Jan 16 2007

Michel Lotito http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Michel_Lotito
There's at least one person in my targetted market. [theleopard, Jan 16 2007]

Will it blend? http://www.willitbl...os.aspx?type=unsafe
Golf clubs, light bulbs, crowbar, marbles. [angel, Jan 16 2007]

Ball Mill
These things are pretty good at generic maceration. [zen_tom, Jan 16 2007]

Car Toothpaste Car_20Toothpaste
and to clean your teeth when you've finished...? [xenzag, Jan 16 2007]

(linky) The marbles are good.
-- angel, Jan 16 2007

I've been thinking for a while now about a massive ball-mill that should be able to mash up anything in the universe. Not posted it yet because I haven't decided on what scale to use. (Certainly industrial, possibly planetary)
-- zen_tom, Jan 16 2007

You want to blend planets?

Ooh! Planet soup!
-- theleopard, Jan 16 2007

Thanks [xenzag], car toothpaste is exactly what you'd need after ingesting a plane.

Did I mention the recycling implications of this device? Pour in your industrial waste, blend (utilising [zentom]'s added ball mills) and serve. The faecal remains can then be used as compost or some such other biological service.
-- theleopard, Jan 17 2007

Would the plane have to be X-ray'd and checked for sharp objects before it got into my body?

Hohoho the irony!!
-- britboy, Jan 17 2007

Ah, you box clever there! But thankfully the answer is no, as any dangerous weapons or spikular implementry will be ground down to a harmless tasty paste. In fact chemical compounds such as gunpowder and dynamite and the like, if properly treated prior to blendification, can add a certain je ne sais quoi to any plane smoothie.

We also do helicopter flavour.
-- theleopard, Jan 17 2007

Interesting .. for helicopter flavour surely you only need loosen the bolts holding the whirling blades to the helicopter (when it is turned on and at full rotation speed!) .. the four blades would then fall through the 'copters body -- instantly mushing the lot into gorgeous helicopter paste?

And if this is the case -- one begs the question .. why do we need your blender at all?
-- britboy, Jan 17 2007

Well for starters (literally) my blender can process Da Vinci's helicopter as well. In fact we have a menu of vintage recommendations including the Wright Flyer, an original WWII Spitfire, and one of the decommisioned Concordes... Or a mixture!

Plus a self blending helicopter would be a rather messy affair and our customers are generally alot more refined, thank you very much.
-- theleopard, Jan 17 2007

Plus, the self blending helicopter would be unable to blend its own rotors.

Has anyone posted any ideas about things that blend themselves before? It's quite a tricky thing to do since any blending mechanics, no matter how cleverly arranged, will always have problems when turned on themselves. Sure, you can have an infinite progression of blenders blending blenders blending blenders...etc, but there's always going to be that one blender at the bottom of the pile that remains intact.

I think the only real answer here is explosions.
-- zen_tom, Jan 17 2007

Or you could just have my blender blending all the blenders.

-- theleopard, Jan 17 2007

[angel], I only managed to view your "Will it blend?" link last week, was unable to watch it at work for some reason. It's amazing! I especially like the glowsticks.

I will definitely be in talks with BlendTech in order to secure the right technology for my aviatic blender.
-- theleopard, Mar 06 2007

random, halfbakery