The Baby Autchanger is a clear cube with an opening on the side that has a curtain-like closing property. A tube connects to a water supply, such as your bathroom faucet. A reservoir on top holds baby bath soap.
Your baby is wearing a diaper equipped with our special "auto-changer buttons". These can be affixed to regular diapers at the tape ends, or you can buy the special diapers with the buttons already on them.
Turn the water on. It collects in a warming tank. Stick the baby, face-up, half-way into the cube, dirty diaper and all. The opening softly closes over his little belly, its curtain forming a soft seal. Optical sensors locate the special buttons and direct the diaper remover arms to the strategically placed buttons. The arms suction onto the buttons and deliactely tear the diaper off. The arms slip the diaper out from under him and pull it into the drainage tank under the cube.
You push the wash button. A bidet mechanism, connected to the soap, does its thing. The drainage is washed down into the drainage tank.
Push the dry button and warm air blows the baby bottom dry.
Clean baby. Dry baby. Happy baby.
(I typed this out first, and then checked the HB history - I found an anno in "baby bidet" by [CasaLoco] that might be called a poor man's version of this, but I'm posting anyway as a vast improvement - with mine you do not need to remove the diaper yourself. But we can m-f-d it if we think it's too redundant; it may be one of those "post as an anno to existing idea" type things)-- globaltourniquet, Aug 17 2007 Waldo http://www.technove...content.asp?Bnum=23Congratulations - getting any sleep yet :-) ? [normzone, Aug 17 2007] Existing Baked System http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife [vincevincevince, Aug 22 2007] Rather than robotic suction arms, I'm imagining some sort of a Waldo mechanism, you know, like those arms they have to manipulate radioactive materials.-- jutta, Aug 17 2007 Congratulations on your new baby! Good luck with the BADS...-- imaginality, Aug 17 2007 Yeah, that's good. Then you don't need the special buttons.
Actually, how about this? Make the arms manipulated by joysticks and buttons? Turns baby changing into a little game.-- globaltourniquet, Aug 17 2007 Congratulations.
Have the fact that you have a new babe and your recent return to the halfbakery have any connection at all? Like being kept awake all night or some such.-- po, Aug 17 2007 This reminds me of an article I read about computer game addiction. One poor woman had actually given birth whilst the father was sat in the delivery room playing Rome: Total War on his laptop.
Have you got a laptop [global]?-- theleopard, Aug 17 2007 Yay! Say hi to Global Tourniquet Jr. for me.-- wagster, Aug 17 2007 Congratulations on localtourniquet!
Problems: 1.Finding people who trust their baby to a contraption with mechanised arms. 2.I don't think your bidet mechanism will clean it all off. I've changed lots of nappies, and it's amazing where it can all hide. And I've got two girls: Boys are worse. 3.Happy baby: Unlikely. Depends on baby, but many will scream blue murder.
Still, bun, because it wasn't just a wish which is what I was expecting, and also because a new baby should be celebrated with a bun not a bone!-- TheLightsAreOnBut, Aug 17 2007 What [TheLightsAreOnBut] said.-- the dog's breakfast, Aug 17 2007 happy baby to you! = ) and mrs tourniquet as well, of course.-- k_sra, Aug 17 2007 Congrats to the whole tourniquet family.-- xandram, Aug 17 2007 That's awesome, and with your moniker I can't help but wonder if you tied one on.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 21 2007 Congratulations!
Regarding the proposal - I think it should have a laundry facility built in to clean the diaper, dry it and put it on the top of the 'diaper supply' stack. Of course, you would need an additional supply for laundry detergent.
In general however it is redundant (see link)-- vincevincevince, Aug 22 2007 Just hold the baby's arms and use a space toilet.-- marklar, Aug 22 2007 [vince^3], I do have a high quality (and very lovely) version of the system in your link, but unfortunately for me, the system was hacked in twain in order to produce our bundle, so it is still under repair.-- globaltourniquet, Aug 22 2007 ouch! poor mommy! hope she feels better soon. *kiss*-- k_sra, Aug 22 2007 Isn't this what nannies are for?-- livingstereo, Aug 22 2007 //Isn't that a bit of a private question???//
Hey man, if one of mine was glowing I'd hope someone would ask me if I tied it on too so, you see...it's more of a courtesy.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 23 2007 random, halfbakery