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Science: Health
Bad breath meter   (+6, -2)  [vote for, against]
Is it safe to be near me?

You're getting self conscious. There's always that nagging doubt: do I have bad breath? Walk to the nearest pharmacy and buy your own halitosis detector. It's a device similar to a breathalyser, but instead of the measurement of your blood alcohol content you get your halitosis level checked:

1 - You smell like roses, baby

2 - There's something brewing

3 - Can I offer you a mint?

4 - Danger!

5 - Stand over there, against the wind and speak louder.

Schedule your visits to the dentist accordingly.
-- PauloSargaco, May 31 2011

Portable atmosphere effluvium analyser http://www.big-dipp...ir2000_EFF_IntE.pdf
What the name says [PauloSargaco, Jun 01 2011]

Seems Baked! (does anyone search their ideas anymore?)
[xandram, Jun 01 2011]

(?) here is another one... http://www.ginnys.c...&CAWELAID=674071757
[xandram, Jun 01 2011]

Next: Socks that whimper when you've worn them too long.

-- 8th of 7, May 31 2011

How does it work?
-- mouseposture, Jun 01 2011

[mouseposture] Ah! I can see you're like a loaded spring, itching to cry magic.

It works through the detection and measurement of certain chemical by-products of bacteria activity. For instance, and just to name a few, hydrogen sulfide, methyl mercaptan, Allyl methyl sulfide, dimethyl sulfide, indole, skatole, polyamines. It would be an ultraportable version of an atmosphere effluvium analyser [link], fine tuned to the concentration levels expected to emanate from the oral cavity of a human being. Yes, the miracles of miniaturization.
-- PauloSargaco, Jun 01 2011

//itching to cry magic//

Do you sell a cream for that? [+]
-- pertinax, Jun 01 2011

[pertinax] Sorry, can't help there.
-- PauloSargaco, Jun 01 2011

[see links] for bakedness and how to bake...
-- xandram, Jun 01 2011

GCMS-on-a-chip, yay !
-- 8th of 7, Jun 01 2011

Itching, rather, to provide an answer, in case you didn't have one (but you did).

(Do springs itch?)
-- mouseposture, Jun 02 2011

Yes, [mouseposture], springs itch. It's a known fact :-)
-- PauloSargaco, Jun 02 2011

random, halfbakery