Fashion: Body Modification
Bagpipe Breast Implants   (+7, -5)  [vote for, against]
Inflatable & musical* jubblies** for all three sexes***

Inflate & squeeze. Hours of breast squeezing fun until the novelty wears after about five minutes, at most.

* I'm obviously using a fairly broad definition of what constitutes 'musical' here.

** For our overseas friends & other foreign johnnys, I suppose I should clarify that jubblies is a juvenile UK term for breasts, often used in association with breasts of a particularly active nature****

*** Male, Female & Other

**** And by 'active' I'm not talking about ones that go abseiling or race motorbikes at the weekend.
-- DrBob, Aug 30 2014

Chisei, Saikano, the film version
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 30 2014]

Cocaine smuggling in implants
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 30 2014]

As [Max] Says, "...why not put something useful in there..." --- Why Not Indeed! Glow_20in_20the_20D...20Breast_20Implants
[Grogster, Aug 30 2014]

Gainax Bounce http://www.urbandic...erm=gainax%20bounce
You learn something new every day. Whether you want to or not. [DrBob, Aug 31 2014]

Squeaky Toy Silicone Implants Squeaky_20Toy_20Silicone_20Implant
I think this is almost the same, unless yours has pipes sticking out [lurch, Aug 31 2014]

//I'm obviously using a fairly broad definition of what constitutes 'musical' here.//

And “fun”. This would be more like breast squeezing aversion therapy.
-- ytk, Aug 30 2014

//breasts of a particularly active nature

(mentions "Gynax bounce" one more time)

I can see ytk`s point of view
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 30 2014

I know this is for halfbaked stuff but still the rule of invention seems to me that either it is something entirely new or it is supposed to fix a wrong.

There is nothing wrong with breastsqueezing fun whatsoever that needs fixing by this or any other invention
-- zeno, Aug 30 2014

//nothing wrong with breastsqueezing fun

Seem to remember hearing that breast cancer is more prevalent in the left breast, and most men are right-handed....almost as if there was some connection, eh?

And if I`m to do my Marvin impression completely, this would be painful, as the implants are supposed to key into the flesh, and basically you`re just putting mechanical stress on that join.
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 30 2014

[+] Excellent.

More generally, why are breast implants always so non-functional? If you're going to insert a large object, sealed in inert silicone, into a body, why not put something useful in there?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 30 2014

Well you could try Chise, out of Saikano, I mean who wouldn`t want a cyborg girlfriend capable of destroying a helicopter gunship? Link etc

Not to mention the cocaine smuggling. Link.
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 30 2014

// why not put something useful in there? //

Goldfish ?

Whatever next ? "Custard-filled Pirate Bagpipe Orrery", probably …
-- 8th of 7, Aug 30 2014

with cheese..

(wonders what using custard instead of air does for the frequency range of the...BP...)
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 30 2014

I'm all for filling them with custard. Harder at high speed. And if they spun like a baby's mobile... Being against the abuse of bagpipes and even more so, abuse of breasts, this cuts me to the bone, especially if it risks making a pair of air-inflated babies the founders of a new Scottish Rome.
-- 4and20, Aug 30 2014

// why not put something useful in there? //

Why not, indeed. <linky> and [+]
-- Grogster, Aug 30 2014

Music to my ears.
-- blissmiss, Aug 31 2014

-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 31 2014

If the bag of the bag pipe is split in two, the size of each breast asuming they still also provide milk, will be close to or larger than a human sized Barbie Doll. HUGE

The owner will also need to be a bit of a gymnast in order to bleed the air with something approaching music.

Don't think it will be a common medical procedure.

Imagine trying to make out with such date in the "back row of the Balcony". Beep Beep honk
-- popbottle, Aug 31 2014

If Python were still going I could see sketch there.

<man with large glasses scans girls bust, gets slapped, girl storms off>

Or Smith & Jones / Benny Hill (etc.) for that matter, any of the current crop suitable for this?
-- Skewed, Aug 31 2014

Hmm, well, there are the old saline types, which had a removable drain, it was supposed to be for the surgeon to be able to add or remove some of the fluid shortly after the surgery, for aesthetic purposes.

But usually that drain was in the armpit region, so your gin sling might not have quite the bouquet you were looking for...(yes, I do have an encyclopedic knowledge of implants)
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 31 2014

Just what's wrong with my ears? I don't get it. Help.
-- blissmiss, Aug 31 2014

//Music to my ears.

Well, Dr Bob (MD, first practiced at unit 731) was talking about music from two appendages considerably lower than the ears...
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 31 2014

Duh! Got it now. (My husbands recovering from surgery and I am a little daft right about now).
-- blissmiss, Aug 31 2014

Not to worry and good luck the surgical outcome. Please tell me it wasn`t anything to do with glow in the dark nadgers.

//yes, I do have an encyclopedic knowledge of implants//

It is a long story....
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 31 2014

I think we probably know it, don't we [rm]? Although do feel free to tell me lots and lots as although things are going fine right now, I may eventually think about it.
-- nineteenthly, Aug 31 2014

//And yet, there is no character limit on annotations... So do tell :)

The tale has been told elsewhere on here.
-- not_morrison_rm, Sep 01 2014

//unless yours has pipes sticking out//

Well of course they do, lurch! How else do you inflate bagpipes? Or regulate the tones that ensue upon squeezing?

But it is conceptually similar to the squeaky toy idea posted previously by some annoying, smart Alec, I'll grant you that.[marked-for-deletion] Redundant, unless somebody comes up with a stunningly good argument as to why it isn't!
-- DrBob, Sep 01 2014

random, halfbakery