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Product: Headphones: Noise-Canceling
Bagpipe Canceling Headphones   (+8, -1)  [vote for, against]
Never be caught off guard by un-expected bagpipe music again

The 5 second delay of all sound coming in allows the circuitry to sense any incoming bagpipe music in time to shut the headphones off.

Though hearing everything with a 5 second delay might take some getting used to, and conversation would take a little practice, it would be well worth it to have the peace of mind knowing you'd never be caught off guard by surprise bagpipe music again.
-- doctorremulac3, Aug 12 2014

top ten tunes https://www.youtube...watch?v=4VPfL80SoeU
Bagpipe music plus lot of drums in there [popbottle, Aug 12 2014]

Bagpipes in France http://news.bbcimg....07_624_bagpipes.jpg
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 18 2014]

When a picture doesn't need a caption http://bloximages.c...2857dd5fb.image.jpg
Classic [doctorremulac3, Oct 05 2014]

(?) Sam Gross - Bagpipe afterlife http://imgc.allpost...-yorker-cartoon.jpg
[pashute, Oct 06 2014]

(?) Sorry no earplugs allowed http://lowres.janto...er-16512363_low.jpg
[pashute, Oct 06 2014]

Reversing Bagpipes Reversing Bagpipes
Allow me to highlight the possible danger inherent in the co-existence of these two bagpipe-related ideas. [zen_tom, Oct 07 2014]

You could do the same with eyesight. Principally by having goggles displaying images of the outside world as received by cameras, with a digital signal processing designed to detect, and replace, all evidence of tartan.
-- bs0u0155, Aug 12 2014


This may have the side effect of rendering Scottish people largely invisible and inaudible.
-- bs0u0155, Aug 12 2014


Yes, but there could be disadvantages too.

Just can't think of any …
-- 8th of 7, Aug 12 2014


I assume the headphones/goggle combination would be considered badly flawed if they allowed spoken French/disinterested shrugging through the filters?
-- bs0u0155, Aug 12 2014


How does the noise cancelling work to stop the crushing brain pan pain and vibration of insufficiently stalwart bowels?
-- calum, Aug 12 2014


If you re-broadcast the bagpipe music with the 5- second delay and increased volume, it would actively disrupt the incoming music.

I want Fox-news-canceling headphones (for most airport terminals in the US...do they get paid for showing that stuff??) and more generally advertising-canceling headphones.

I'm looking forward to active advertising blocking in a Google-glass-type augmented reality display, for blocking billboards and such.
-- sninctown, Aug 12 2014


If you re-broadcast the bagpipe music with the 5- second delay and increased volume, it would actively disrupt the incoming music.

I want Fox-news-canceling headphones (for most airport terminals in the US...do they get paid for showing that stuff??) and more generally advertising-canceling headphones.

I'm looking forward to active advertising blocking in a Google-glass-type augmented reality display, for blocking billboards and such.
-- sninctown, Aug 12 2014


Another example of stereographical posting. Perhaps if you did one anno with red font and the other with cyan?
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 13 2014


// bagpipe music //

Tautology.
-- 8th of 7, Aug 13 2014


//5 second delay might take some getting used to// //conversation would take a little practice//

So a little like trying to follow a United Nations debate then?

Which should lead to the added advantage of causing you to switch off & stop listening entirely, leaving mobile phones & text services as the only remaining viable means of communication, you'd never have to talk to anyone directly again, the plan perhaps? ;p

//goggles displaying images of the outside world as received by cameras, with a digital signal processing designed to detect, and replace, all evidence of tartan//

Surely that's just a re-tasking of Zaphods anti-fear sunglasses [bs0].

//may have the side effect of rendering Scottish people largely invisible//

But only between the waist & knees, so still visible (your disadvantage [8th]?).
-- Skewed, Aug 13 2014


// // bagpipe music // Tautology.//

I really don't think you meant "tautology".
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 13 2014


No, we didn't. We meant "Torture".

// only between the waist & knees //

Easy fix. Mandatory tartan burkhas.
-- 8th of 7, Aug 14 2014


Espionage would then become a doddle, you could use them to sneak into work late & your boss would never know ;)
-- Skewed, Aug 14 2014


Now why would you want to conceal a bagpipe? Or is it against the law in your country?
-- pashute, Aug 14 2014


Some states have open carry laws, but I think concealed bagpipes are illegal in all 50 states.
-- doctorremulac3, Aug 14 2014


//Mandatory tartan burkhas//

This is a natural and worrisome consequence of the infinite parallel universe theory.
-- bs0u0155, Aug 14 2014


Aha, just spotted the Beeb story, of where some bit of France celebrates the Auld Alliance with bagpipes....too good to be true..
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 18 2014


A good solution for the Scottish question.... Join France. It solves the currency issue. Also, France could use the northern windswept portion of tundra to store its nuclear arsenal. Even the French have enough scruples as to keep their weapons from accidentally damaging real civilization. Such as the one in nearby Belgium.
-- bs0u0155, Aug 18 2014


// France could use the northern windswept portion of tundra to store its nuclear arsenal. //

"store" ? Sp. "test", shirley ?

// Even the French have enough scruples as to keep their weapons from accidentally damaging real civilization. //

That's irony, isn't it ?

// Such as the one in nearby Belgium. //

Yes, definitely irony.
-- 8th of 7, Aug 18 2014


I like bagpipes. In small doses. Playing Amazing Grace. That's all. Now go back to your hating, you haters.
-- blissmiss, Aug 18 2014


I actually like bagpipes sometimes too, I just like making fun of them.
-- doctorremulac3, Aug 18 2014


Check the link. One of my favorite pictures of all time.
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 05 2014


There's another possible approach to this; the bagpiper wears the headphones, which contain a sound-analysis processor and 100g of PETN in each earmuff. When the sound of bagpipes is detected, the charges are initiated electrically, and the opposing shock waves convert the wearer's head to a pinkish-grey mist within a few milliseconds.

The deluxe version could have proper explosive lenses, using HMX and Baratol, plus a copper liner, for extra effectiveness.
-- 8th of 7, Oct 06 2014



random, halfbakery