Product: Weapon: Missile
Bass Seeking Missile   (+21, -2)  [vote for, against]
No, not the fish, but that would be cool too

A missile which homes in on low frequency audio sources. Train it on the audio source and off it goes.

Originally intended for consumer/automotive use, it also has some interesting military applications - mostly because I want to see fighters dropping Walkmans strapped to 12" speakers as chaff.
-- phoenix, Sep 08 2001

halfbaked Annoying_20Noise-Guided_20Missiles
[discontinuuity, Oct 02 2007]

For the other most common car related complaint Highbeam_20Seeking_20Missle
[jhomrighaus, Oct 02 2007]

<BarryWhite running>This isn't funny!</BarryWhite>
-- sdm, Sep 08 2001

Dang it phoenix. Where were you with the missile launcher earlier? I envisioned the same thing while in traffic. boom boom BOOM. <Incoming>croissant</Incoming>
-- thumbwax, Sep 08 2001

Would this not result in the death of hundreds of boy racers in times of war? What with them playing their dance music very loudly through the biggest bass speakers they can cram into their vauxhall novas. (Not that this wouldn't be a bad thing though).
-- kaz, Sep 08 2001

"In other news, a freak explosion occured at this week's Star Wars convention. It was believed that actor james Earl Jones was speaking to fans near the area."
-- mrkillboy, Sep 10 2001

Rant aside, it's really hard to "seek" bass.
-- bookworm, Sep 10 2001

Bookworm, the wave has to have direction, right? I know it's hard for people to determine direction, but I think it could be done...
-- Deity, Sep 13 2001

I think it should b a specific bass note, co that my band won't get blown up

oh and wot is petersealy on about
-- GreeboMaster, Sep 13 2001

In the most recent rewriting of an antiterrorist move to assassinate some middle eastern criminal, Israeli intelligence was supposed to have done this to its target when he picked up the telephone. -- whisszz -- right in the window.
-- reensure, Sep 13 2001

[Rods] Must be painful having elephants on one hand & mosquitoes on the other. Ouch.
-- Jim, Sep 13 2001

Right. Gotta convince the elephant to move before you can scratch...
-- phoenix, Sep 13 2001

[Deity] From an engineering standpoint, the lower the frequency of the sound you want to pinpoint, the farther apart your microphones have to be in order for them to be on different parts of the waveform.
-- mwburden, Sep 14 2001

Presumably you could home in on bass signals using the movement of the missile to triangulate. It might have to zig-zag a bit, but missiles that zig-zag wildly, turn corners and stuff are way cooler than ones that just fly in straight lines.

Also, different missiles tailored to tenors, sopranos, altos, etc, would be cool. Otherwise you would create a global imbalance in opera singers, and that might have consequences (though admittedly that seems unlikely).

Final dim pun: I think the army would be more interested in a base-seeking missile. It could look for the light reflected off the gold braid of the generals' uniforms.
-- pottedstu, Sep 15 2001

//base-seeking missile. It could look for the light reflected off the gold braid of the generals' uniforms//

Wouldn't that be a "brass" seeking missile?
-- ye_river_xiv, Oct 01 2007

I am offended at this idea
-- evilpenguin, Oct 01 2007

Would the Resonant Fly Immobilizer (tm; blatants elf promotion) be of any use? Could you fry an amp by driving the speakers in sympathy with the frequency they were trying to generate?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 01 2007

<quickly passing bus while turing off stereo> Brilliant. [+]
-- nuclear hobo, Oct 02 2007

random, halfbakery