Science: Health: Artificial Limbs
Bee-Releasing Jam-Filled Banjo Leg   (+39, -18)  [vote for, against]

In place of a pegleg, this banjo also has containers for jam and another for bees.
-- theleopard, Aug 13 2007

Iron Metabolised in Honeybees. http://jeb.biologis...reprint/180/1/1.pdf
Turns out Bees actually metabolise iron, a worker bee can contain anything up to 15.7ug (nanograms) of iron in its body - I'm not sure how much one bee weighs, but that's got to be quite a high percentage in terms of overall bodymass. [zen_tom, Aug 13 2007]

(?) King of Banjos http://www.youtube....watch?v=zxWK9keh3XI
[zen_tom, Aug 13 2007]

behave_20beehive_20hairdo behave beehive hairdo [xenzag, Aug 14 2007]

[jhom]'s supposedly similar idea. Condiment_20Filled_20Eye_20Patch
I don't see the resemblance. Still, please read and vote for it. [theleopard, Aug 14 2007]

The BRJFBL in pirate folklore! http://i38.tinypic.com/2lw0k1j.jpg
Banjo Bill was famed for installing the first truly bee infested jam filled banjo leg in history. Here he is dancing a jig with a giant squid and a ballet shark on points. [theleopard, Aug 14 2007, last modified Oct 02 2009]

Banjo Pete's unadvisable Bees : Jam ratio. http://i34.tinypic.com/15cfqt2.jpg
Adrian van Banjo here gets a little swarmed at work whilst playing Pete's poorly calibrated banjo leg! He gets into some silly scrapes does that one. [theleopard, Aug 14 2007, last modified Oct 02 2009]

Make sure the bees don't get too far. Bee_20On_20A_20Stick
Less complicated than magnetism, plus slightly more reliable, bee retention device. [theleopard, Aug 15 2007]

We're just looking at a thing in a bag. http://www.homestar.../whatsinthebag.html
Only cool guys can look. [theleopard, Aug 17 2007]

Already a growing industry. http://secretbanjo....y-honey-banjos.html
Mary Cox from Tallahassee, Florida has taken her first step into the wonderful world of bee-releasing banjo prostheses. It's a small industry, but a highly rewarding one. [theleopard, Aug 22 2007]

This idea is back on the most-contested list! http://tinyurl.com/2nfc5z
The most prestigious list on the 'bakery. [theleopard, Feb 01 2008, last modified Feb 02 2008]

Veoh: I, Mudd http://www.veoh.com...h%3Dv947333YWF4XFrS
The Star Trek Episode in queston - humans outwit some robots using illogical behaviour. [zen_tom, Dec 03 2009]

BoingBoing: Tiny Lego Guitars - Related? http://www.boingboi...g+%28Boing+Boing%29
(Obviously inferior, as they don't have bee-repositories) [Dub, Dec 04 2009]

Buffalo & the Bumble Bee Banjo Picker http://www.flickr.c...171/in/photostream/
This is weird... [theleopard, Jul 05 2011]

Bee-releasing bee http://www.flickr.c...673/in/photostream/
By the same weird artist... [theleopard, Jul 05 2011]

Toe-tapping banjo tune http://www.youtube....watch?v=zhyqJuSGJzo
A hundred bars of awesomeness from the Nitty Gritty Dirt band. [wagster, Oct 14 2011]

As is this... http://www.youtube....65Y&feature=related
Foggy Mountain Breakdown played at stoopid speed by Earl Scruggs and a bunch of top banjoistas! [wagster, Oct 14 2011]

While we're on the subject of banjos... http://www.youtube....p/a/u/2/-sR9aMJu2zQ
...my friend doing the dueling banjos versus himself. [theleopard, Oct 17 2011]

I like it... but it does too much - either banjo or bee keeping would be enough on its own. Here's a croissant to chew upon whilst musing in the apiary +
-- xenzag, Aug 13 2007


Did I mention it also has a clock in it?

_____________________________

The bees will just go after the jam so your banjo will have a bee beard.

Works for me +

----Anathema Device, Aug 13 2007
-- theleopard, Aug 13 2007


//Did I mention it also has a clock in it?//

Sshhh... less is more, dude.
-- moomintroll, Aug 13 2007


//Did I mention it also has a clock in it? // - Atomic or Big Ben replica ?
-- xenzag, Aug 13 2007


Biological actually. After entering a few details into its computer system, it will remind you when the most likely time for your wife to conceive will be and then secretes some jam. Alternatively, depending on your wish to become a parent, it can also release a swarm of angry bees during the opportune moment.
-- theleopard, Aug 13 2007


This might be baked? I think my Aunt had one of these.
-- theNakedApiarist, Aug 13 2007


//it will remind you when the most likely time for your wife to conceive will be and then secretes some jam// - I daren't ask what kind of jam this is...
-- hippo, Aug 13 2007


// it will remind you when the most likely time for your wife to conceive will be //

Whenever her freaky one-legged husband is away.
-- marklar, Aug 13 2007


I'm worried, mightn't the voodoo powers of such a device be counteracted by someone equipped with a huge stilton arm?
-- zen_tom, Aug 13 2007


A wasp-releasing silton-filled clarinet arm?

Postable...
-- theleopard, Aug 13 2007


Not since the saxophone, have I seen an idea born which is so complete and correct. I can't add a thing, except a bun, and a sextant.
-- Dub, Aug 13 2007


//A wasp-releasing silton-filled clarinet arm?//
I was thinking of some kind of stilton-piano-arm, with integral drawers containing (among other things) assorted mixed ants, some brown, egg, a myriad of writhing eels, and an overarching sense of general but unspecified discomfort. And, by opening the top of the grand-piano design and aligning the stilton-piano-arm with the sun, it *should* double as a workable sextant.
-- zen_tom, Aug 13 2007


To be a grump: This is just silly. It's got a certain approaching-the-top whimsy, but I don't see that there's anything clever or inventive or oddly-useful about it. It's just hallucinatory. Pretty, sort of, but just silly. [-] [Much later, [ ]]
-- baconbrain, Aug 13 2007


It's a banjo in place of a prosthetic limb with 2 compartments, one for jam and the other for bees.
-- skinflaps, Aug 13 2007


It's gibberish to me. But then, I drank some 'mango' pearl tea late last night, not realizing it had caffeine, and haven't slept since then. Is this a vitamin pun or something?
-- baconbrain, Aug 13 2007


I mustard mit I don't quite get it. Is it a pun or something?
-- skinflaps, Aug 13 2007


I purposefully tried to ensure that this idea wouldn't be too parrotty. At least, in this, I have succeeded.

[zen_tom] that's an interesting link, thanks. They should be called pBees.

[edit] - Oh, no that's lead. Sorry. FeBees?
-- theleopard, Aug 13 2007


Ferrous.
-- zen_tom, Aug 13 2007


Now I know why I keep coming back to the HB.
I regret that I have but one bun to give.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Aug 13 2007


Awwwww. You guys just kill me.
-- AllyAl, Aug 13 2007


[zen_tom] - does that mean bees are magnetic? Oh how I long for that to be true. Not really sure why, though.

I like the idea of the jam and bee compartments being rotatable, like the cylinder on a revolver. A whole new form of Russian Roulette would be born - Jam or Bees. Imagine the air of excitement as the kids tremblingly hold up their slices of toast at the breakfast table of a morning while daddy spins his leg again, deftly playing a jaunty banjo tune with his free hand...
-- lostdog, Aug 13 2007


Bunned for [lostdog]'s anno.
-- imaginality, Aug 13 2007


Banjovi - some kind of George Formby/Glam Rock fusion band!
-- zen_tom, Aug 13 2007


// a worker bee can contain anything up to 15.7ug (nanograms) of iron in its body// A ug (actually a µg) is a microgram, not a nanogram. And, as a percentage of bodymass, it's less than humans (who are full of blood, of course). Otherwise all bees would fly north, you see.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 13 2007


Getting a bit tired of pointless combinations as ideas [-] (the original list idea ?)

----bigsleep, Aug 13 2007

_____________________________

I appreciate that this idea is not for everyone but I shall stand by it, as I do all of them, as vehemently as I would defend my own mother from a pack of jeering seals. I am me, and as much as I can attempt to be otherwise, that is as will be. For, if every word I write is misconstrued in some way, though there may be the odd soul that is with me, there it is in its plainest form: Plainly, and with no remorse, I speak the truth - no more, no less. If you wouldn't want a jam and bee filled banjo for a leg then please, go ahead and bone this idea (though I find it hard to fathom). I am grateful for the buns I have received, and to those that have steadfastly believed in me during my baking days.

I say to the bunners, "ta". (Ta being a UK-ism for thanks.)

----theleopard, Aug 13 2007

_____________________________

You're wicked.

*smothered laugh*

----Anathema Device, Aug 13 2007
-- theleopard, Aug 13 2007


Dear Mr Leopard Esquire,

You have written a long and almost eloquent defence of your idea. However, despite your willingness to assert your own character, you might consider that the Halfbakery is not the place to do it, especially where the vehicle for such self assertion (the idea in question) is strictly outside the remit of an innovation forum. Personally, I don't think you have a jam free leg to stand on. Now beehive yourself.

yours disgruntled

BigSleep

----bigsleep, Aug 13 2007

_____________________________

If one so wished [bigsleep], one might seek to rouse my ire by sitting upon my beautifully crafted banjo leg.

You sir, hath sat upon mine ire most dreadfully.
-- theleopard, Aug 14 2007


Do you have an international patent on this?
-- wagster, Aug 14 2007


[MaxwellBuchanan] Cheers for clearing up the micro/nano mixup - I never did keep track of my decimal points. But - the main difference between humans and bees is that while we have lots of iron in our blood, it's in its hemoglobular form, which I believe is less magnetically sensitive than the great chunks of pure iron found in the cells of bees - which - I would venture, from an evolutionary standpoint, might be used as some kind of apiaral navigational aid. Yes [lostdog] bees really could be *highly* magnetic! (All we need now is to secure some funding for a massive magnet and some bees)

Easy on the ire Bubs!
Makes me think though, these ferrous bees, you could almost say they were "full of iron"? There's got to be a better way of saying that...
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2007


They're quite ferrousy?
-- theleopard, Aug 14 2007


Ironish?
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2007


//funding for a massive magnet and some bees// - self promotion of one of my earlier Bakery offerings - see link
-- xenzag, Aug 14 2007


<Laughs uncomfortably loudly at nervous urchins awaiting Jam or Bees while dad plays the menacing theme from "Deliverance">
-- GutPunchLullabies, Aug 14 2007


2001: A Banjo Odyssey
"Oh my god...it's full of bees!"
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2007


Daddy or chips.

----Anathema Device, Aug 14 2007

_____________________________

Tch! Just my luck, turns out it's already baked! <linkies!>

<pssst [Anathema], //wicked// in the 1980's or //wicked// in the 1880's?>

----theleopard, Aug 14 2007

_____________________________

1880s ;)

'[jhom]'s supposedly similar idea. Condiment Filled Eye Patch I don't see the resemblance'.

You plagiarised the word 'filled'.

Mmmmmph.

----Anathema Device, Aug 14 2007
-- theleopard, Aug 14 2007


Certainly the Halfbakery isn't the place for abuse. On the other hand, ideas which the author posts knowing they are silly and have no inventive merit rightly expose the author to ridicule in a way that more conventional ideas don't. I too am amazed this idea is doing so well and hasn't been shot down in flames.
-- hippo, Aug 14 2007


The difference, as I see it: They are both absurdist ideas that probably took three seconds of your life to think of and post. They were both criticized to some extent. You both strongly defended your ideas.

theleopard chose to power through the moment by upping the absurd ante. He got some hilarious annos, which only helped.

jhomrighaus chose instead to take personally attacks made against something the invention of which probably involved about four of his neurons. He was swarmed by bakers, which like bees can sense fear.

Really, it was hardly your graduate thesis, was it? And you are an active and productive baker, right? So why get upset when someone calls something ridiculous that was meant to be ridiculous? Why derail an idea people are enjoying because your own attempt at dadaism was less well received?
-- GutPunchLullabies, Aug 14 2007


i can't believe it's baked! will wonders never cease?
-- k_sra, Aug 14 2007


Not on the HB, k.
-- lostdog, Aug 14 2007


I understand precisely why this idea has seven bones. None of them however are mine.
-- wagster, Aug 14 2007


This idea is toss [jhom]. As was yours. Mine however has ace pictures that took me ages.

[GutPunchLullabies] says it best, though I hope he took my psuedo-defensive "I-am-me" anno with a pinch of salt. Or pepper. Whichever condiment you prefer.

[Anathema], I'm not really, honest.

[zen_tom] I think the ferrous word you were looking for was "irony" as in "these bees are very irony." I looked it up in a dictionary. It's like iron, but with a 'y' cleverly positioned at the end.

Call me a sadist but I still think this whole macabre debacle is genuinely funny.

(cheers [wags])
-- theleopard, Aug 14 2007


I'd still like to know whats with the pic dated 1999?

(And for the record I was less than serious in my other annos, but the fish remains even tho the annos are almost making up for the "this+this+this=funny" formula of the idea).

----bigsleep, Aug 14 2007

_____________________________

Trust me, the fish are as welcome as the buns my dear [bigsleep]. As for the pirate folklore image, no, no, that is a 100% genuine ancient pirate tapestry, recently discovered within the treasure chest of Ol' Green Beard John-Silver Sparrow McCakes off the peninsula of Google island. I picked it up on one of my adventures in my trustee catamaran "Lady Photoshop". (CS2)
-- theleopard, Aug 14 2007


(You don't want to know what happened to CS1)
-- theleopard, Aug 14 2007


CS1 probably fell off the the bridge (which sucks).

So what you are saying is you ripped off the image and the idea ? I guess the good news is that at least this idea is not plagarising similar ideas.

Did you think of giving away a free condiment filled eye-patch with every leg ?

----bigsleep, Aug 14 2007

_____________________________

I forgot to say that it has a compass in it too.
-- theleopard, Aug 15 2007


Great idea theleopard, great name; no amount of ungenerous bleating changes that.

Next? :)

----Anathema Device, Aug 14 2007

_____________________________

I'd love this to end up becoming a stock response to bakers who complain that there ideas are being bombed. Example:

2 buns and 7 bones WHY SO MANY BONES????????

Not enough jam and bees mate.
-- theleopard, Aug 15 2007


Ah yes, the Eddie Izzard approach to invention.
-- marklar, Aug 15 2007


I see a little siloetto of a man, scaramoos scaramoos, it's a bee and jam banjo.
-- marklar, Aug 16 2007


<laughs until people start staring>
-- wagster, Aug 16 2007


[EDIT] - [Anathema] comes up with the acronym NEJAB - not enough jam and bees - plus a host of others that I can no longer recall.

[Anathema], I wasn't quite thinking along the lines of abbreviations and acronyms, although I like NEJAB (as in "Better luck next time <lightly JABs [inventors]'s NE">).

Having said that a couple of people have already used it in other ideas (though not quite in the same context) by simply enquiring whether or not there might be any concealed jam compartments included in the invention. (I'll find a link...)

EDIT - Never mind, it was that musical fire alarm one but you've already seen and commented on the possible inclusion of bee related dispersal.
-- theleopard, Aug 16 2007


//I see a little siloetto of a man, scaramoos scaramoos, it's a bee and jam banjo.//

Great!!
-- zen_tom, Aug 16 2007


It'd be a bugger travelling by air with this thing! It's hard enough with a 'normal' prosthesis.
-- oneoffdave, Aug 16 2007


//I would defend my own mother from a pack of jeering seals//

Pah! Easy to say when it's not likely to happen.


//It'd be a bugger travelling by air with this thing!//

If you had enough bees and put a harness on each of them then they could fly you anywhere you fancy.
-- DrBob, Aug 16 2007


//I see a little silhoette of a man...//

Thunderbolts and lightning, condiments are frightening me!
-- theleopard, Aug 16 2007


bees, not jam, has a devil put aside for meee...
-- TheLightsAreOnBut, Aug 16 2007


Jammy-mayo
Jammy-mayo
Jammy-mayo

-- zen_tom, Aug 16 2007


Fig rolls!
Magnifico!
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Aug 16 2007


I've started Bohemian Bakery [linked]
-- marklar, Aug 16 2007


<Can't wait for head-banging banjo solo!>
-- theleopard, Aug 16 2007


<to the tune of please release me>Bee Releasing Jam Banjo</tttoprm>
-- marklar, Aug 16 2007


I'm trying to imagine the sound this would make as you walk squish-jangle-buzz.
-- Worldgineer, Aug 16 2007


I don't get it. Is this a joke referencing some book or movie that I don't know about? Or do you just think that a banjo, bees, and jam are funny when combined together?

Maybe this is some kind of art project, like those people who put sheets over rivers or carefully pile up trash in the corner?
-- discontinuuity, Aug 17 2007


No, no, and no. As with stamp collecting, if you have no love for banjo legs filled with bees and jam, it's hard to explain.
-- globaltourniquet, Aug 17 2007


Could you please expound on the inspiration for this idea and how you would use it?
-- discontinuuity, Aug 17 2007


Well, I can sure describe how I would use it, in the unfortunate event of a loss of a leg.

I would first lift my leg, and pick away on the banjo to produce an eminently danceable ditty.

Then I would make toast, and open the jam compartment, and spread like nobody's business.

Then I would open the bee compartment and hope I don't get stung by all those angry bees!

Woo-hoo!
-- globaltourniquet, Aug 17 2007


What about the clock?
-- wagster, Aug 17 2007


The clock is largely useless.
-- globaltourniquet, Aug 17 2007


I use it to find the correct moment to RELEASE THE BEES!
-- wagster, Aug 17 2007


Wow. I've been short changing my banjo leg clock all this time. But I'm so good at the pickin' and grinnin' that I really don't need the metronome. Although it could help me spread the jam more rhythmically.
-- globaltourniquet, Aug 17 2007


It also helps the bees keep time.
-- wagster, Aug 17 2007


needs more cowbell.
-- k_sra, Aug 17 2007


It may be a little late to point this out, but wouldn't it be "Bee-releasing jam-filled banjo leg"? I find it important to hyphenate wisely and often.

Otherwise, what is being described is a bee that, whilst releasing jam, filled a banjo leg. And that would be silly.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 17 2007


[Anathema], thank you so much for that link. Perfec'.

[Maxwell], I realised my mistake a while ago but half wanted to see which baker would point it out. Kudos my dear chap. You win this galvanised flightless bee! Huzah!

[wags] - RELEASING THE BEES -, I had to actually punch myself in the face to stop laughing at work. You know, to make myself look professional and everything.

Interestingly, did you know that filling a banjo with bees and walking on it actually makes a sound surprisingly similar to a cowbell! Amazing really, what these bees can do.

[brevity]
-- theleopard, Aug 17 2007


// I realised my mistake a while ago but half wanted to see which baker would point it out.// Marked-for-tagline, shirley?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 17 2007


Bees and banjos go together like jam and legs. <linky>
-- theleopard, Aug 22 2007


"It was pretty exciting putting in the bees"

-Mary Z. Cox
-- wagster, Jan 29 2008


This idea has really suffered from the scourge of the HB, the "Swiss-Cheese Effect". With [Anathema Device] having since left, and more recently (and mysteriously) [bigsleep] disappearing, coupled with [jhomrighaus] deleting all of his annotations at the time, you end up at one point with a 5 anno conversation involving me, myself and I.

I'm great company, sure, but I submit that this fromage affliction is a harmful thing.
-- theleopard, Jan 29 2008


It's easy to recreate [jhom] annos in your head - some variation of "Why did this idea get buns and my identical idea get boned?"

He reminded me of the two clones that Spock destroyed. Now there's a reference challenge.
-- globaltourniquet, Jan 29 2008


I hope [UB] did not chase [bigsleep] or [django] away. Would love to see [Anathema...] back, wouldn't you?
-- 4whom, Jan 31 2008


Yeah [4whom], I liked [Anathema] too. She did however get a bit worked up towards the end about voting and people's "obssesion" with buns. She got quite angry about the whole macabre debacle if I recall. But she had a great set of wits on her.
-- theleopard, Feb 01 2008


[bigsleep] gone? I'll bet Eddie Mars got to him...
-- wagster, Feb 01 2008


// It's easy to recreate [jhom] annos in your head - some variation of "Why did this idea get buns and my identical idea get boned?"

He reminded me of the two clones that Spock destroyed. Now there's a reference challenge. globaltourniquet, Jan 29 2008 //

This is quite rude [globaltourniquet]! Why do you feel the need to make derogotory comments about your fellow bakers?

I deleted my Annos here mostly due to Anathemas hissy fit. My point at the time was not that my idea was identical, my point was that this silly idea that obviously involved no time to conceive, involved food products stored inside of a prosthetic or medical device and had an overtly pirate related theme, was very positively received, while my Condiment filled eye patch was Boned into oblivion for these same reason. I merely observed that this seemed somewhat hypocritical. I was then personally attacked and accused of fishing for buns by Anathema. Others complained and I deleted my comments.

Unlike others involved I have chosen to remain a productive part of this community, however it is this sort of comment from fellow bakers that creates a black mark on the bakery and drives people away from our baker family.
-- jhomrighaus, Feb 01 2008


//Boned into oblivion //

Bit of an overstatement. You got 10 (+) votes on it and 16 (-) votes. At least people bothered to vote and comment. I'd call that a success!
-- DrBob, Feb 01 2008


That has actually been discussed in "Panic-PIN self destruct". The resounding sentiment (apart from some rather embarrassingly meloncholic comments on personal voting regimes) was that it should stay due to its legacy and (infamous) notoriety.
-- theleopard, Feb 01 2008


////Boned into oblivion //

Bit of an overstatement. You got 10 (+) votes on it and 16 (-) votes. At least people bothered to vote and comment. I'd call that a success! DrBob, Feb 01 2008//

Actually it has picked up almost every one of those ten votes since most of the 16 Bones were logged. That idea had 10 bones in less than a few days as I recall. then slowly the tide shifted at little and some bones became buns and then new buns have trickled in, but the initial response was the exact opposite of what occurred with this idea. Thats where my comments came from.
-- jhomrighaus, Feb 01 2008


"Of course, I'm absolutely, utterly, comprehensively, completely, abjectly, totally, convincingly, unbelievably, egregiously <deep breath> WRONG!"

- UnaBubba, 1st Feb 2008

I will be quoting this back to you at regular intervals, [UB]. Probably out of any reasonable context. On this you may depend.
-- wagster, Feb 01 2008


I've been thinking about this one for quite a while. Aside from the whole issue of hyphenation, there's another more problematic point.

In calling it a "Bee-releasing jam-filled banjo leg", you are presumably seeking to describe its pertinent and defining qualities. After all, there would be little point in doing otherwise. Now, "leg" is fine: most things are not legs, so it's pertinent to point out that this one is. Likewise "banjo": few things (and even fewer legs) are banjos, and so it would be appropriate to make reference to this in the name. (Indeed, it would be rather odd not to.)

"Jam-filled" is also a sufficiently unexpected and noteworthy attribute to warrant citation. Jam-filled objects are rare (unless you work in a biscuit, sandwich or doughnut factory). Hence "jam-filled" is also a worthy term.

My problem (as you may have appreciated by now, given the length of time you've had to read this far) lies in the phrase "bee-releasing". If you think about it, almost everything in the world has the potential to release bees. If bees were trapped, say, on a pebble, they would readily escape. If they found themselves next to a stoat, or in the grant canyon, or in the car- park of the Milton Keynes ski centre, they would escape equally quickly. Releasing bees, therefore, is the default condition of most objects.

What is the defining characteristic of this jam-filled banjo leg? Not that it can release bees, but that it can contain them - a property shared by only a modest number of other things. This should, therefore, be a "Bee- containing, jam-filled banjo leg."
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 01 2008


[Maxwellbuchanan] I find your analysis very thorough and inspired, however your new defining still leaves a gap in the proper description of the functioning of the leg in that it is now classed as a part of a somewhat more modest group of objects capable of containing said bees. The problem herein comes back to your original objection to the phrase "Bee-Releasing" . Your new title does not imply to the reader that said jam filled banjo leg is capable of the additional and even more exclusive capability of being able to both contain and then release bees, a capability far less common than either of the two previous iterations of the afore stated title. Therefore a more applicable title which much more clearly defines the parameters of this object would be "Bee-containing and releasing, jam filled banjo leg". I would however respectfully await any objections or additions to this analysis you may be willing to share.
-- jhomrighaus, Feb 01 2008


You forgot the Banjo component.

Multipurpose human ambulatory prosthesis specialized to provide; mobile domicile conditions for Apoidea species (especially Apis mellifera), capable of use as a dispenser of sweet preservatives and comestibles as required and functionality as a Banjo
-- jhomrighaus, Feb 01 2008


//and capable of use as a dispenser of sweet preservatives//

Two issues with this. First, jam is a preserve rather than a preservative (though you might be able to preserve, say, bees, in a preserve).

Second, the original idea makes no mention of its being able to dispense jam - it merely contains it.

If [theleo] had stated his intentions more clearly, it might have been something like "{Bee and jam} {containing and releasing} banjo leg."
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 01 2008


You are a rectangular piece of absorbent cloth or paper product, sometimes recycled, that is used for; drying, wiping or soaking up of liquid materials most typically comprised of water infused with various assorted ions of metallic elements( such as Iron, Lead, chlorine, sodium, calcium, copper and zinc ), a barrier that is reclined upon while undertaking certain outdoor activities(sunbathing, swimming, reading etc.), cleaning and removal of dirt and debris from dirty or soiled surfaces such as counter tops, windows, floors or tables and for protecting ones modesty and privacy following certain types of hygiene activities normally undertaken by human beings.
-- jhomrighaus, Feb 02 2008


Who is? Or was that a job advertisement for some sort of government official?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 02 2008


//it is this sort of comment from fellow bakers that creates a black mark on the bakery and drives people away from our baker family//

If "derogotory comments about your fellow bakers" were to result in the above, the place would surely be overrun by tumbleweeds.

Did I forget the ironic smiley on that anno? Apopollylollygees.

(and still no takers on the reference challenge - I am the Star Trek supergeek!)
-- globaltourniquet, Feb 06 2008


It strikes me that we may be onto something here, by virtue of the wide spectrum of adjectivial words in the invention title. We ought to be able to get, at minimal extra cost:
Jam-releasing, bee-filled leg banjo.
Leg-filled, banjo-releasing bee jam
Leg-releasing, banjo-filled bee jam
Bee-filled....

You see the underlying theme here. It's time to leveragize this idea.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 06 2008


Bad ideas, every one [Max]:

//Jam-releasing, bee-filled leg banjo.

This would shirley soon be a Jam-releasing, DEAD bee-filled leg banjo. And yuck.

//Leg-filled, banjo-releasing bee jam

Bee jam is fine by itself, but I find it is necessary to filter out all the legs, and it would only begrudgingly release the banjo.

//Leg-releasing, banjo-filled bee jam

See above: filter the legs out first, not after packaging. Although the image of many banjos floating in the jar of bee jam is very nice.
-- globaltourniquet, Feb 06 2008


I have 6!-4 others.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 06 2008


// Leg-filled, banjo-releasing bee jam // From what I remember of Beejam's it was certainly leg-filled but I don't remember it releasing any banjos.
-- marklar, Feb 07 2008


//still no takers on the reference challenge //

A somewhat belated response but I think we are talking "I, Mudd" aren't we?

Spock: 'Logic is a pretty flower that smells bad!'
-- DrBob, Dec 03 2009


//Spock: 'Logic is a pretty flower that smells bad!'//

Tut tut, [DrBob]. Spock would never use an exclamation mark.
-- theleopard, Dec 03 2009


Clearly you haven't watched the episode, oh spotty one.
-- DrBob, Dec 03 2009


It's on my to-do list.
-- theleopard, Dec 04 2009


//Clearly you haven't watched the episode, oh spotty one.//

sp: Dammit, Jim (sic), I'm a doctor, not a <insert relevant item here>
-- Jinbish, Dec 04 2009


Apiarist?
-- theleopard, Dec 04 2009


Yeah, that'll do. I was thinking of the exclamation mark issue - but let's not digress from the bees.
-- Jinbish, Dec 04 2009


//a worker bee can contain anything up to 15.7ug (nanograms) of iron// That'd be micrograms - making them microbees.
-- spidermother, Jul 04 2011


Presumably any single celled life infecting the bees would be microbee's microbes ?
-- 8th of 7, Jul 05 2011


Bees and banjos appear to be practically synonymous. Check out the link "Buffalo & the Bumble Bee Banjo Picker".

It RELEASES BEES!!
-- theleopard, Jul 05 2011


[8th], check out <linky> "Bee-releaseing bee" for graphical representation of Microbees.
-- theleopard, Jul 05 2011


// would first lift my leg, and pick away on the banjo to produce an eminently danceable ditty//
It'd be a bit of a bugger if the tune was a real toe-tapper, given that you're already precariously balanced on your only good one.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 06 2011


Yeah - you'd be screwed with this one...

[linky]
-- wagster, Oct 14 2011


Ah, this takes me back... A Halfbaked classic with jam on, truly in keeping with the very finest of Rentisham's traditions. I can't for the life of me determine why I didn't bun it the last time it boiled to the surface. [+]

Has anyone told Bela Fleck about this? He's a real innovater in the jam and preserves field.

Or is he a master bee-keeper? Oh, now I can't remember...
-- Alterother, Oct 14 2011


Having dropped off the most contested list due to some Halfbakers destroying their accounts, a recent bone has put it back in! See the link > //This idea is back on the most-contested list!//

Some of the best ideas on there, just for the sheer controversy. All worth a read I reckson.
-- theleopard, Oct 20 2011


My God, I have been here forever. I remember this idea like it was yesterday...<must get a life>
-- 4whom, Oct 20 2011


Bah... still a newb.
-- RayfordSteele, Oct 26 2011


iron in honeybees? Perhaps this is why they never build nests near power lines
-- EdwinBakery, Aug 29 2012


To me, the Bee-Releasing Jam-Filled Banjo Leg IS the of-mythic-proportion essence of the Halfbakery.
-- sqeaketh the wheel, Aug 29 2012


If it was just bees, or jam, or a banjo, or a banjo with just bees, or jam it wouldn't be the same. <rubs banjo leg>
-- rcarty, Aug 29 2012


I was thinking earlier this week about what I would do if I were to lose a foot or two in some irksome mishap. I came to the conclusion that I would have a speciality prosthesis manufactured, which would not exactly resemble a human foot but instead would be a set of functioning panpipes, which I could, if I was supple enough, toot or, if I was not supple enough, listen to the whooting chords blown by the brisk swing of my legs. Pleased with this notion, I proceeded to the halfbakery, where I was reminded of this fine idea which takes and at the same time improves upon, the musical prosthesis model.
-- calum, Oct 08 2012


// I was thinking earlier this week about what I would do if I were to lose a foot or two in some irksome mishap. //

Doesn't everyone ?
-- 8th of 7, Oct 08 2012


A small barrel and piston arrangement might, upon suitable priming with the finest of dairy creams, allow someone to issue fresh butter at regular intervals.
-- zen_tom, Oct 08 2012


// Doesn't everyone? //

Given your occupation and my proclivity for unexpected reconstructive surgery, it may be hard for folks like us to keep a clear perspective on such things, but no, I believe we are in the minority. Not everyone prefers to live under the sword, as it were.
-- Alterother, Oct 09 2012


'Aug 13 2007'... is this now a Bee-Releasing Jam-Filled Banjo Legacy?
-- Phrontistery, Oct 09 2012


I only hope I never have to discover if I am supple enough to toot.
-- tatterdemalion, Oct 09 2012



random, halfbakery