Food: Farming: Bee
Bee Communicator   (+7)  [vote for, against]
Sits in the hive and waggles.

Honey is a curious thing. Its flavour is largely dependent on the flowers that your bees have been visiting. Unless you own the land for some distance around your hive you have no control over what kind of flower that is going to be. In Hereford, the best you can do is take the honey off before and after the oil-seed rape comes into flower. It's best to feed the later honey back to the bees in the Winter. Oil-seed rape makes poor honey.

Now, bees communicate the location of flowers by a dance they do in the hive in front of the other bees. Direction is communicated by angle from the vertical (the dance is done on a vertical surface). Distance is communicated by frequency of waggle (or something like that).

The bee communicator would be a fake scout bee on a stick that you daub with the pollen and nectar of the flower you want the bees to go for (just rub it against a flower) and push it through a specially created hole in the side of the hive. Hook up the external motor, program in the loaction of the desired flowers and the fake bee wiggles appropriately.

You get the honey you want. The bees get a reliable news source of where flowers are to be found. Everybody's happy*.

*Actually the bees would probably be more content if you didn't keep nicking their honey, but that's another matter.
-- st3f, Jan 14 2004

Waggle Dance http://en.wikipedia...g_and_communication
Unfortunately, a fake bee shaking its booty may not be enough. [st3f, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Robot scout bee http://www.halfbake...Robot_20scout_20bee
Not as easy to find as you might think. [phoenix, Oct 05 2004]

(?) The Elusive Honey Bee Dance "Language" Hypothesis http://www.beesourc.../wenner/jib2002.htm
[phoenix, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

the latest news on the subject
[po, May 12 2005]

(?) More than you wanted to know about it. http://www.ece.ualb...spacek/honeybee.pdf
[coprocephalous, May 12 2005]

enjoy some waggle dance beer in London
[po, Mar 20 2011]

The Elusive Honey Bee Dance "Language" Hypothesis https://web.archive.../wenner/jib2002.htm
archived copy of above broken link [notexactly, Jun 14 2019]

Neural correlates of symbolic communication in the honeybee dance https://web.archive...spacek/honeybee.pdf
archived copy of above broken link [notexactly, Jun 14 2019]

fake bee on a stick insect?

do you come here often? <wiggles rearend>
-- po, Jan 14 2004

//Everybody's happy*.//
ESPECIALLY if its used as a sick prank to get back at someone for writing on your face while you're asleep and taking pictures of you and putting them up in the hallway at school, ruining your chances with that one hot chick from 3rd period math class ... revenge is such a savory sweet dish that goes well in Earl Grey ... [+]

<wiggles rearend>
-- Letsbuildafort, Jan 14 2004

Now BBQ bees on a stick ...
-- k_sra, Jan 14 2004

your're not wiggling, b_p. don't be shy!
-- po, Jan 14 2004

The socks command you ...
-- Letsbuildafort, Jan 14 2004

<Placard seen in a crowd of Bees on strike>
Less Flowers!. More Honey!
-- gnomethang, Jan 14 2004

Hey, I think it's secondary name is half b communicator... and it does seem to work!! <waggles rearend>
-- no12pass, Jan 14 2004

nice link, phoenix.

<wiggles rearend> this is a might fine exercise...
-- po, Jan 16 2004

whats this mean?

I schmokes mine pipe und I vatches dose bees,
Und I laughs till mine schtomack goes schplit,
Ven I see dem go schtrait for Hans Brinkerhoff's flow'rs
Und nefer suck Yakob's vone bit.
-- po, Jan 16 2004

po, are you some sort of closet bee farmer? C'mon, admit it! Fess-up!
-- Letsbuildafort, Jan 16 2004

closet bees?

<wiggles mothball>
-- k_sra, Jan 16 2004

//po, are you some sort of closet bee farmer? C'mon, admit it! Fess-up!//

I hope she doesn't raise bees in her closet....;)
-- babyhawk, Jan 16 2004

no, honey!
-- po, Jan 16 2004

'course not. No flowers. No sunlight in closet.
-- Worldgineer, Jan 16 2004

No honey? We can fix that. [egbert], get the woman some honey.
-- k_sra, Jan 16 2004

define: closet

honey? yuk - bee spit, no ta!
-- po, Jan 16 2004

I mean someone reluctant to admit that they farm bees on the side. Jeez

<wiggles fist in air>
-- Letsbuildafort, Jan 16 2004

Hmmm. How about a Bee Night Club where All Bees are welcome, All Dancers Welcome. Then Bees could meet up with whoever, according to their Dance get it.....gfundl P.S. There is actually a book out on Bee Shamanism, so possibly one could consult it...the Bee Shaman.
-- gfundl, Nov 19 2004

[po] I think a closet would be a good place to keep bees - they could sting all the moths, and stop them eating clothes.
-- coprocephalous, May 12 2005

...and leave honey in your pockets.

[po] who is Hans Brinkerhoff, and why is Yakob glad that his flowers don't get sucked by bees?
-- zen_tom, May 12 2005

random, halfbakery