Home late after a few pints with the boys? Can't stand the thought of another night in the dog house? Now there's no need to worry. On your way home just be sure to pick up a packet of Beer & Cigarette flavoured mints - the ultimate spousal subterfuge device. Rip them open and throw a few of these pungent mints out the window (Don't eat them by lord!) and slip the remainder in your pocket. You arrived home to an immediate flurry of accusations... "You've been at the boozer half the night again haven't you!? I can tell - your breath reeks of cigarettes and beer!!" Your response? "No no honey, you've got it all wrong... I'm simply enjoying these new Beer & Cigarette flavoured mints!" Problem solved.-- lukecleland, Mar 03 2006 Bullyseye gameshow - for non-UK viewers http://www.ukgamesh.../index.php/Bullseye [Texbinder, Mar 06 2006] would they make you cough, vomit and rather wobbly on your feet?-- po, Mar 03 2006 Knowing my luck, the following morning she would eat the rest of the packet and insist on a goodbye kiss.-- Ling, Mar 03 2006 hah!-- po, Mar 03 2006 sp. "reeks"-- coprocephalous, Mar 03 2006 "No, really! - These Beer and Cigarette mints come in packaging made from long blonde hair! Look!"-- hippo, Mar 03 2006 Could you down a packet in one?-- skinflaps, Mar 03 2006 I can't imagine anything less pleasant, but on occasion this might be worth it.-- wagster, Mar 03 2006 I thought this would be something completely different, but this is much better, and more badly thought out [+]-- Mr Phase, Mar 03 2006 Wouldn't it be simpler to make them come in packs of 12 with four missing already?-- jellydoughnut, Mar 03 2006 So strong they stink up your clothes, too?-- egbert, Mar 03 2006 I am reading this as I can imagine an announcer on a TV commercial saying, "It's Wrigley's BEER flavored mints!" as the jingle goes, "Beer flavored mints..doo-doo... Beer flavored mints.."-- Jscotty, Mar 03 2006 "Nooo rheall-l<hic>ly osifer. It's t' m-mintsf. Wa won?"-- Shz, Mar 04 2006 inspired, [luke], fine work.-- neilp, Mar 06 2006 Please call them "Beer and Cigarette Flavoured Troches", not "Mints"; to reduce the ' yucky' factor-- reensure, Mar 06 2006 Why not bottle it, spray it on and claim it's your new 'Bullseye' aftershave? (see link)-- Texbinder, Mar 06 2006 random, halfbakery