Culture: Funeral
Burial at Cliffs   (+19, -1)  [vote for, against]
It involves a slingshot

I have long thought that when it's my time to go, I want it to be freaking awesome. Preferably something involving exploding bikinis. Or maybe aliens. Or both.

That being said, I'm sure that's NOT how I'll make my exit. Chances are that like most people I'll die quietly in my own home.

As a proxy for an awesome termination, I'll settle for an awesome burial.

A giant slingshot would be erected near an oceanside cliff face somewhere, maybe 100 meters away to allow for decent flight time. The dearly departed would be placed carefully in the slingshot, with flowers and a coulple of stones attached to the torso, or perhaps a set of lead belts artfully hidden by clothing. Dressed in his or her Sunday finery, the sling would be drawn back to maximum tension, and to the tune of an appropriate dirge, be released.

After a few seconds of flight, the about-to-be-buried would strike the cliffs with an artless *thwack!*, and then fall into the ocean below. The aforementioned weights would keep this person from washing up downshore, and instead allow the person to re-enter the world's ecosystem at the place where we first exited.

For those seeking a more dignified service, the slingshot (or as [zen_tom] suggested, a trebuchet) could be aimed out to sea. This actually seems to be a more popular modification than my original.
-- shapu, Aug 11 2006

Catapult Catapult
Similar, but crappily written. [hidden truths, Aug 11 2006, last modified Aug 14 2006]

A book for Shapu 100_20Things_20To_2..._20You_20Will_20Die
Twanged into a cliff comes in at number 76. [theleopard, Jul 01 2008]

the bigger the slingshot, the more undignified the backfire http://i1023.photob...rmelon_catapult.gif
[swimswim, Jan 19 2014]

Hollywood Car Disposal Hollywood_20Car_20Disposal
A cliff funeral. For your car. Circa 2005. [Cedar Park, May 26 2014]

Will they be lighting you on fire first?
-- Gallus, Aug 11 2006

//Will they be lighting you on fire first?//

Only if I'm being used in a siege machine, but then, that's already been done.
-- shapu, Aug 11 2006

Great. I hope my death involves being devoured by a grue/ninja cyborg. Oh, and how many people have died in your home?
-- jellydoughnut, Aug 11 2006

//Oh, and how many people have died in your home?//

Enough that my purchase price was through the floor.

As were the bullet holes. *rimshot*
-- shapu, Aug 11 2006

I may be scuba diving tomorrow. Wear all your best jewelry, won't you?
-- normzone, Aug 11 2006

Five years makes an awful lot of difference to how ideas are voted it seems. Although this is written better, it's ostensibly the same idea as linked.

I'd also swear I read a third idea that was almost exactly the same as these, but I could be imagining it.

Edit: On "Quickie Funerals" idea: //Hmm, Maybe I'd like to be launched from a massive rachet controlled crossbow off a high cliff where everyone could watch with bated breath while the casket sailed through the air off into the distance, smashed onto the rocks of the canyon below, then was swept to sea in the boiling rapids. No obligatory pandering eulogies please! Just show up, shoot, watch and go home. Call it "The Evel Kneivel funeral"
-- hidden truths, Aug 11 2006

Apparently my searches were unsuccessful and incomplete.

Thanks for the "better written" part. I'll take that to my grave, wherever it is.
-- shapu, Aug 12 2006

At Cliff's, apparently.
-- methinksnot, Aug 13 2006

My luck, the story would have a cliffhanger ending.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 13 2006

On second thoughts, I've taken away the MFD. I can't say that I like the precedent of an idea being deleted because an idiot previously posted a similar idea that was lousy and hatelful.
-- hidden truths, Aug 14 2006

And, um, splatting the dearly departed against a cliff is not hateful...?

(It has my vote, though, if only for the launching straight out to sea.)
-- DrCurry, Aug 14 2006

Likewise, a funeral service conducted around a well fashioned trebuchet (it seems more dignified than a slingshot) would have a certain solemness - as would watching your loved one fly off into the sunset (I too prefer the seaward version) finally slipping 'neath the waves with a splash dependent upon the type of casket utilised.

Years later, people might return to the same cliff top, gather around the trebuchet and gaze out over the horizon, thinking of their lost love, and their final, noble trajectory.
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2006

[Ian] I think Cliff's got a pretty big garden. Plus, you could have a nice game of tennis after the wake.
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2006

My presumption would be that any caskets used would be made of untreated wood.

I like the trebuchet idea.

Side-question for the ages: Would a funeral near a shoreline be restricted by the no-wake zones?
-- shapu, Aug 14 2006

I still like the idea in its original form. The thought of a loud "thwack" as the body impacts the cliffs brings a joy to my heart. You and your funeral would be long remembered, for sure. [+]
-- Klaatu, Jun 30 2008

There are 'hanging coffins' in some places in the Philippines, like the Cordilleras (a mountain range north of Manila). The coffins can be seen halfway down the cliff face, resting on ledges and outcrops. I don't think they used a slingshot to get them up there though.

[+] because like [Klaatu], I actually kinda like the thought of having a funeral like this. And in the unlikely event that I'm pronounced dead prematurely, I'd prefer to find out this way than six feet under, scrabbling at the coffin lid.
-- imaginality, Jul 01 2008

trebuchet... on fire.
-- FlyingToaster, Jul 01 2008

You are missing the one thing that would make this perfect, explosions... why not aim for a passing by ship? I'm sure the medieval recreation people need the practice
-- xxobot, Jul 01 2008

I'm always amazed when my long-lost ideas get found again. I'm guessing [Klaatu] hit the random button?
-- shapu, Jul 21 2008

//I'm guessing [Klaatu] hit the random button?//

Nope. Was thinking of a similar idea for flaming trebuchet funerals but found it was prior art. Had to bun a great idea.
-- Klaatu, Jul 21 2008

Probably just your feet would wash up after they rotted loose. I guess there is an epidemic of this going on. It is because shoes are floaty.
-- bungston, Jul 21 2008

Wouldn't it be more fun to aim the body for the coffin first?
-- augusta, Jun 30 2010

I have friends who had a house high up on the cliff in Sidney. A permanent assortment of catapults (once it becomes a standard industry) could definitely ruin the view. But thats the way we like to ruin our planet...
-- pashute, Jun 30 2010

// we like to ruin our planet //

Hey, we can do that for you wholesale...
-- 8th of 7, Jun 30 2010

Sharks used to follow slave ships across the Atlantic.

This will make it too easy for them.
-- popbottle, Jan 19 2014

Well, sharks ARE threatened. Might as well help a brother out, you know?
-- shapu, Feb 02 2014

Meh, I'm not going until I can be auto cremated on my way down through the atmosphere (preferably Jupiter's, extrasolar would be even better, but I'm not picky). This isn't a bad alternative though, at least the directly seaward version.
-- MechE, Feb 02 2014

-- awesomest, Feb 06 2014

I wonder if I predate Eddie on this one?
-- shapu, May 20 2014

Having a trebuchet fling your corpse into an active volcano would also be memorable for your grieving relatives.
-- hippo, May 20 2014

//Having a trebuchet fling your corpse into an active volcano would also be memorable for your grieving relatives.//

Oooh I like that.

Would it appease the gods though?
-- Loris, May 21 2014

random, halfbakery