Burs of Future Antiquity   (+2, -1)  [vote for, against]
Adventurers needed to seek out burs of exceptional quality.

It is said that somewhere in the deepest depths of the thickest thicket there is a bur of such woody robustness, and of hooks so plentiful that if another like it could possibly exist the bond they could create would be inseperable.

As it happens there is a gentlelady of high-fashion who has heard tell of the bur's petrified wood gemstone seed, and the golden hues of its ornate angularity. The gentlelady is in the possession of a most exquisite handbag crafted from the pouch of a generously endowed thylacine, that most tragically has remained unfastened to this day.

Needless to say a sizable reward has been proffered for its reciept. Of course, you will not be recieving it. My storied shaggy dog and I have been cutting a swath through dense country, and judging by my findings in her fur we'll soon be upon it.

On the heels of its imminent discovery, demand for these naturally occurring fasteners will be great. You will likewise discover on your travels that these small woodland urchens abound, and that they will cling to you, weigh you down, and restrict your movements, so that you will collapse out of exhaustion and die only for them to take root and derive nourishment from your fallen corpse.

These crude masses of burs are of no value and stand in your way of the prized Burs of Future Antiquity. However, by seperating large clumps of these burs with great care a bur of great value may be discovered binding them from within. Don't forget to sift through the soil beneath old growth to discover fossilized burs that once polished will fetch a generous sum.

Enough of this foot dragging - your destiny awaits!
-- rcarty, Jun 09 2012

[not_morrison_rm, Jun 10 2012]

A perfect mission for the Rhinoceros Strike Force. We'll clear the way!

Bun deployed!
-- Alterother, Jun 09 2012

It's burs! It's so hard to find good help these days.
-- rcarty, Jun 09 2012

No, the bun is to light the way, like a flare. Rhinoceroses have very poor night vision.
-- Alterother, Jun 09 2012

Excellent we can eat these tallow candles I have packed for sustenence.
-- rcarty, Jun 09 2012

"It is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness".
-- 8th of 7, Jun 09 2012

-- not_morrison_rm, Jun 09 2012

Tell us again how your dentist managed to get dental drill bits lost in the dog's fur.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 09 2012

He was insising my canine?
-- rcarty, Jun 10 2012

Or incising, perhaps?
-- UnaBubba, Jun 10 2012

Why what did I say?
-- rcarty, Jun 10 2012

It's what you didn't say that is important, [rcarty].
-- UnaBubba, Jun 10 2012

That sounds like the last exam I wrote.
-- rcarty, Jun 10 2012

random, halfbakery