Business: Crime
CPR Murder   (+9, -1)  [vote for, against]
Cardio Pulminary Resucita.... Murder

The plan began to formulate itself in my mind not long after taking up tenancy in the new house. A throbbing, festering infection of hate took hold of my mind. The sight, the smell, even the thought of the man that was my landlord blurred my vision and teared my eyes. The gluttonous fat man was going to have to die. My knowledge of classic tales of suspense provided me with the insight that in my state of madness, disposing of the body would be impossible. I would have to openly offer his wretched corpse to the proper authorities; the only ones who could finally do away with it. However, I would have to take his life, and my depravity provided the means. When the night came, I waited until his disgusting rhythmic groans of slothful comfort betrayed his vulnerability, and I krept down from my loft to the foot of his door. I waited there silently, without a lantern to shine upon my target, to ensure his sleep remained uninterrupted. Then the moment came, when the adrenaline surged through my viens, and I took hold of the knob and with a quick snap of the wrist, was in his room and a moment later on top of him. What transpired next illustrates the brilliance of my plan. With one crashing blow from my elbow to his solar plexus, his chest caved inwards with the full force of the falling weight of my body. Did he awaken at this moment? I can not be sure, for when he attempted his inhalation, my mouth fell upon his and he recieved no air. And my clutched hands began to pump mercilessly upon his rib cage, disabling his breathing and placing great strain upon his heart. His suffocation was immediate, and to the paramedics that reached him, so was the diagnosis of his death: a massively fatal heart attack despite the heroic attempt of his loyal tenant to save him.
-- cuckoointherye, Jan 28 2005

The Tell-Tale Heart
Similar writing and details. Inspiration? [Spiffy McPerson, Jan 28 2005]

The legal status of those who attempt resuscitation - October 2000 http://www.fireserv...s/resuscitation.php
[Detly, Jan 28 2005]

Gross Negiligence Required for Liability [cuckoointherye, Jan 28 2005]

So, what were you doing in his bedroom in the time leading up to said heart attack? Hmmm?
-- lintkeeper2, Jan 28 2005

Virtually no time elapsed between entering the room and killing him... virtually none...
-- cuckoointherye, Jan 28 2005

No-one will believe that you just happened to be in the right place at the right time to try to save him from a heart attack. Even if you do get away with murder, you'll be known forever for your preference for gluttonous fat men in pyjamas.
-- lintkeeper2, Jan 28 2005

It makes me sick! Disbloodygusting! I love it!
-- zeno, Jan 28 2005

As I told the paramedics, I heard the man cry out, "I'm having a heart attack", and I went to his aide.
-- cuckoointherye, Jan 28 2005

And why did you take hold of his knob?
-- FarmerJohn, Jan 28 2005

5 'Hail Marys' and 3 'Our Fathers'...yeah, that should do it.
-- Machiavelli, Jan 28 2005

I took hold of it to turn it on... a 360 degree angle.
-- cuckoointherye, Jan 28 2005

" I hope you know, that this is going to go down on your permanent record" [Violent Femmes]

It may make getting a good rental reference an mfd appropriate here [massive fatal depravity] ?
-- normzone, Jan 28 2005

Caveat: I am not a lawyer. I know sod all about civil and criminal law, and negligence legalities in general.

In some places (see first link) administering CPR in a negligent or incompetent way may render you liable for the consequences - however, all I could find were documents regarding civil liabilities and not criminal acts.

From the link:

"If, however, a resuscitation procedure is carried out negligently and a consequential injury can be proved to have arisen from that negligent procedure, a rescuer may be held liable for substantial damages if the standard of care he employed fell below that which could be expected of him in the given circumstances. This applies whether he is a health-care professional, a non-professional volunteer first-aider or simply an unskilled member of the general public."

In other places, there are laws to prevent any liability, but I couldn't find any examples.

(The results were from a simple Google search for "resuscitation liable".)
-- Detly, Jan 28 2005

Try canadian law, my glorious nation, there is a good samaritan act. See link. I also can't believe somebody fishboned me after I proposed CPR Murder!
-- cuckoointherye, Jan 28 2005

random, halfbakery